Laura Kinch

Townsville, Australia

I’m a scifi/fantasy writer. I post drafts of WIPs and excerpts of completed stories up here. If you’d like to find out more about me or my completed stories, check out the links below or email me.

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Liking this so far

I have no idea what's happening so far (except for aliens attacking, and this being particularly painful at 3 in the morning) but this works. You haven't done a great big info dump, which I think would detract from your opening, I'd expect more details of what exactly this alien threat is in later chapters, and the start leaves me wanting to read on to find out more information on this. Instead, you've concentrated on getting right into Lux's head. Which works. Pretty obvious he doesn't like General Asshole (what's his REAL name again? Yeah, General Asshole is gonna stick). Can't say much more on one chapter, but good start so far.

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Overall Rating
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A fun read

This was a fun and interesting read. I like the link you've got between the powers and dates of birth (yet another reason to make sure people don't find out your identity and/or date of birth I guess). I got a good laugh from the kids running around in their suits which were pretty much pyjamas. I suppose not a lot of heroes have both superpowers and sewing skills... I also like how this is sort of somewhere between actually going out and using your superpowers and being kids going out at night and doing stupid things.

The POV from the villainess should also prove to be interesting. Does she do a lot of 'villainous' things, or just go around breaking windows and rocking peoples' roofs? And she obviously cares about her sister. So she doesn't seem all that bad, which will prove interesting once her little sister and the other heroes start chasing her down. How much is her reputation really worth to her?

I'll keep reading to see how this all turns out!

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Top 10% in Star Wars

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