Excellent story line
Read the story now
Your writing style is captivating and flowing. I began reading your story and honestly could not bring myself to stop until I reached the end of the first chapter. The plot is slowly developing, and it already has a lot of depth. Especially through the development of your characters.
First - I love Bace's character! I love how he is initially described in the first paragraph, and then "five years later", those remarks are demonstrated through his actions. His character is mysterious and strong, and sympathetic and kind (taking on Stephen as a friend and mentee). The way he is described in helping his friends makes him so sound like a hero (helping with drug addictions, suicide attempts, child abuse). I definitely would want him nearby if I needed protection or help. I also like his relationship with the "grandmother figure" cook who took a liking to him.
As the characters were really being developed, the scenery and "campus" were as well, which has made the story come alive in my mind! I could picture Bace and Stephen creeping around barrels and shadows at night, and kind of how the grounds could look with the archery area, stables and woods.
Looking forward reading chapter 2!