Ma. Moon

Always down to reminisce, craft, and imagine.

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A very engaging book!

I really loved the writing style of this book. The imagery was solid and the introduction of the characters are written in a way that makes them intriguing. The descriptions for their actions ang characterization are very believable and are consistent throughout the chapters. The pacing of the story in the early chapters work well in balancing the exposition and the right amount of suspense. I'm very excited for this book. Thank you for writing it!

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Great world-building

Fantasy stories require a lot of detail in terms of characterization and world-building. This story has achieved that based on the narration. Overall, the plot I have read so far is engaging.

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Great storytelling

I like how the characters are described well in a way their emotions can be felt, and that these are real human emotions. The storytelling is raw and realistic. This book is interesting. Good job!

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Fabulous flashbacks

I like where this story is going. I especially prefer exposition that gradually lays out the character's backstory through the chapters. Your did that by doing jumps in the timeline and tasteful flashbacks. Good job!

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I enjoyed reading it!

I love how modern your writing style is. It's very relaxing and easy to read. Some stories that are set in a fantasy world would try to write sentences similar to classic sentence structure. Your style sits comfortably with the readers, and the dialogues are not awkward. Some minor mistakes in grammar and punctuation but that's hardly noticeable. It's funny how I imagined a deep voice reading the narration like in the movies. Thank you!

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Seamless and consistent.

The story is presented in a way that made the story intriguing and easy to read. The transitions between scenes and dialogues were smooth. The characters are well-rounded and their unique characteristics are slowly laid out in their well-described actions and dialogues. Moreover, some great world-building efforts are evident.

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Interesting but inconsistent

I like the descriptions and the introduction of the characters in chapter 1. I think these two characters with opposite personalities emphasize their need for each other. I like how you could immediately see the contrast with the symbol of light and dark. It somehow shows the direction of the story and give hints about the upcoming conflict. However, the details in the next chapters are lacking. I suggest that you break up the long paragraphs to make the narration more readable. You could also invest more on the character development and world building since the story is a bit fast-paced.

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Interesting and Funny

I liked how unique the concept of the story is. I especially like the scenes between the characters. They are so funny and their thoughts are detailed. Using third person point of view really helped in the storytelling. The beginning was a little bit confusing with the introduction of the characters and the transition between scenes. Overall, it is a really good read. It genuinely made me laugh. Great job for creating such interesting dialogues!

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Enlightening

The story is engaging. The details, the symbols, and the characterization leaves the reader so much lessons in life. I suggest you lengthen the chapters a bit, and/or shorten the paragraphs to make it more readable. Thank you!

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