Great bones, just some technical fixes
I am a huge fan of the plot and the characters. You can sympathize for their situations and want to root for their success. Barnaby comes from a successful family and struggles to find his powers. I know what it is like to have that pressure to succeed on my shoulders and can relate to him because of this. The characters each come from difficult situations and have different obstacles to overcome. Some of them have difficult parents to deal with while the other is an orphan. The story has 3 main points of view to help get each character's thoughts across. I would like to see all the characters views in either 1st or 3rd person as the author does switch back and forth between them. Overall a very interesting story that has some great potential, just some editing to do. I can't wait for this story to get completed!
Read the story now