Mark DeCastro

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That was a rollercoaster!

I really liked your book! Your style is very readable my sole critique would be the grammar in some places. Although the use of commas in a series is correct technically speaking, it might be fluid if you broke up some of those longer sentences into a few shorter ones. That is just from a stylistic point of view, neither is wrong and to each his own. It was a great read and reminded me of the San Junipero episode of Black Mirror haha.

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An inspired story.

I am very pleased with your work, you possess a very distinct voice. Your descriptions allow for the perfect leisure read, that being said the first few paragraphs felt just a tad over written. You have so many glorious details but less can be more, their is a great quote about this in Stephen King's On Writing. If you google his quote about a red table clothe and a rabbit it should come up. Other than this tiny critique the story was written with a delicateness and grace that gave a fresh twist to familiar territory. I can't wait to read any future stories from you! Great Job.

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Wowowowow

First of all the title is brilliant! I can totally see it on the spine of a book in Barnes and Nobles. The story was so modern, like a conglomerate of the best selling books in the YA market but spun with so much originality that it cannot be compared to anything else. From a personal standpoint, I think less can be more when it comes to adjectives and in the first chapter a lot is revealed about characters through dialogue and not through action, the ol' show don't tell. Besides those two MINOR notes it was a well written and very enjoyable story!

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