Mark DeCastro

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That was a rollercoaster!

I really liked your book! Your style is very readable my sole critique would be the grammar in some places. Although the use of commas in a series is correct technically speaking, it might be fluid if you broke up some of those longer sentences into a few shorter ones. That is just from a stylistic point of view, neither is wrong and to each his own. It was a great read and reminded me of the San Junipero episode of Black Mirror haha.

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Overall Rating
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Grammar Punctuation

An inspired story.

I am very pleased with your work, you possess a very distinct voice. Your descriptions allow for the perfect leisure read, that being said the first few paragraphs felt just a tad over written. You have so many glorious details but less can be more, their is a great quote about this in Stephen King's On Writing. If you google his quote about a red table clothe and a rabbit it should come up. Other than this tiny critique the story was written with a delicateness and grace that gave a fresh twist to familiar territory. I can't wait to read any future stories from you! Great Job.

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Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.