mhairijane1601

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Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

A strong interesting story!

I've only read two chapters so far, but I like your writing style and I like the character of Isa. I think it was clever to have her be annoyed with her friend, it shows a bit of depth. Your grammar was good, and the story was fast paced, there was no lagging. The only critique for me would be the fact that no one (but the other MC) noticed her being assaulted at the club. I know it was crowded, etc. but it seems quite extreme. Maybe have someone notice but not get involved? I hope this helps! And I'll be reading on!

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Incredible!

Wow, this is a really great story! I love the way you've built Adelaide's character so quickly, she feels very real and vulnerable, and her relationship with Evander is done expertly as well. Your writing and dialogue are believable and honestly so is Adelaide, she's very like a friend of mine. Even her getting so close to Eros so suddenly is in character. I thought that she would maybe be more cautious because of her past, but I understand how someone finally asking about her life would cause her to drop her guard. I've added this to my reading list and I'm very excited for new chapters!

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