Michelle Extross

Chaotic

It's fascinating to see fourteen year old Alex's thought process, bit chaotic and symptomatic of ADHD, with his low attention span and hyperactivity. Love how his impulsiveness gets him into unexpected trouble. The affliction sounds daunting, reminds me a little of the greyscale disease from GOT. My favourite metaphor so far is of the dying oaks "These trees are a lot like people. They're rotting away, becoming hollow, losing their personalities." Scary that once the affliction takes hold, it seems as if they slowly lose their own humanity. And the world building so far is impressive! Good job!

Captivating!

I loved the beginning of the Heirs of Theia. The writer makes it clear that English is not her first language, but the imagery used in her writing captivates you to continue reading the story. As a fantasy lover, my favourite part is the beginning when the fairy lost her heart to the human boy and helped him become a King, only to have him betray her. That was heartbreaking to see, but the writing did have a fairy tale like quality to it. Keep going, you are doing so well!

Intriguing

I absolutely love the modern touch in this fantasy. Great to see the way Saffire was portrayed. You could feel her doubt seeping in, fear at being chosen, fear at not being good enough. Her nervousness is so relatable, makes her so real. Her relationship with Coburn is so adorable. Love them both! I'm so intrigued by the Shadow Realm! Thoroughly enjoying it so far, and keen to see what happens next! Great job!

Great flow

I wanted to say, I'm really enjoying your story so far, the characters are likable, and I can see your writing improving with every chapter! Also love the buildup between Damon and Nix, I was really anticipating their meetup, and I was so happy when they finally did! Your writing keeps me hooked, and I'm curious to find out what happens next. Keep up the great work Ameira!

Adorable!

Gosh Sofia, this is such a cute story. The relationship between Joseph and Persephone is so heartwarming. They really come across as kind, affectionate people, and the triplets surprise! What a charming, sweet little twist. I think characters are at the heart of a story, and you've really invested in them. I think small changes on the grammar and conveying your meaning more succinctly could really enhance your writing technique. Most importantly, your story makes a reader feel warm inside, and that's amazing. I'd say keep up the good work, and excited to see where your characters get upto next!