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Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Keep Your Promises

I don't know if it's true or not but a lot of this story felt very personal, almost like being inside the mind of someone who was going through all these terrible things. In that sense I think you did a really good job setting the scene, and despite the uniqueness of the plot and circumstances it was still very relate able.
That said, I personally am not a fan of stream-of-consciousness writing. Ideally I'd like to see you craft your sentences a little more carefully in order to convey as much information as elegantly as possible.
Keep it up, you have some really excellent ideas!

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