Immature - great start
Although there is only the first chapter I enjoyed it and it gave a good introduction to the characters. I like the fact it isn’t your ‘usual’ romance and look forward to getting to know the main character and how she progresses as the story goes on.
Read the story now
The writing is descriptive and flows well. I got a real feel for the characters. Like the couple she serves regularly, I took a real liking to them and the characters came to life as I was reading.
There are some minor grammar errors which a read over would fix - a couple of unclosed lines of speech and at one point she ‘walks’ over to Gary. Nothing that distracted me from the story itself though.
Overall a great start, I was looking for the next chapter and gutted when it only had the one, ha!
I hope you continue with the story and I will keep a look out for further chapters being uploaded.