Sofia Corsi review: The Social Misfit
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Sofia, you have a wonderful story in play, and I love your voice. The banter between Joseph and Persephone is entertaining and realistic. The characters who surround them are well placed and have loads of potential for drama, tension and resolution, which is what helps us relate to a story.
Introducing stress and conflict, building it, and then resolving it is what makes readers cheer for our characters. Your story is wide open for this. This could be a great series as you develop your characters and their individual challenges and victories. Especially since the babies have just been born.
I noticed a few items that may be elements of your personal style, but as the reader, it sort of, stopped the flow.
“Why?” she sighed. She had just warm and comfortable…(this sentence felt like it needed a verb or something). Like: ‘She had just (gotten, become, begun to feel) warm and comfortable…’
“It was a lot of people would call mousy brown…’ (I received a lot of comments on passive voice a few years back, so I’ll pass that along here… You might consider avoiding ‘was’ anytime you can. The sentence works well without it, “A lot of people would call her hair mousy brown.”
To sum up the review, I love the addition of the triplets, and I expect that the little girl may ultimately be the ‘Misfit’ in the title. I can feel myself getting connected to these characters, you’ve done a great job of developing them. I look forward to seeing how it ends. Best of luck.