mogannon

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Noisy Nula

Loved the idea - I think it will appeal to children as a bed time story. I agree with a previous review on several items. While the rough draft is on to a good idea, the noise factor could be expanded. Children take delight in bodily functions - growling stomachs and their possible results might be added. It will help the writing significantly if the grammatical errors are corrected. I may be mistaken but I thought the target in the book outline was 13. My impression is that this should be aimed at a much younger age group. Please accept my apology if I have that incorrect.
Keep working on the book - it could turn out exceptional.

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Untidy Land - A Children's Bedtime Story

Love the idea of a subject that almost every kid and his parents go through. Fun way to get an idea across to the child about cleaning up. Would like to see more senses involved in the untidy room - smells, how sticky the jam jar felt - maybe had trouble putting it down because it stuck to his hand. I could picture the scene very well and I think a child could also. Keep writing.

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