TheRiSi

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Grammar Punctuation

Loved it!

I loved this. Even if the plot wasn’t super complicated or convoluted, the way it was executed was amazing.
The overall style was so unique and it felt so real. There was good balance between technical knowledge and plot. The characters aren’t perfect and are arguably slightly flawed in the best ways. It made them both likeable but realistic too and I love that.

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Great Start!

I think the introduction to any story is really important and I feel like yours is tailored very well for your target audience.
You have made many pop-culture references which fit in with the 13 years+ audience that you are addressing. Maybe to broaden the age groups targeted, you could decrease the amount of references, but that is still optional, and may just be used by you to create a setting.
I like that this is a werewolf themed story, and am intrigued to see where the plot takes us.
The description of the abuse the main characters face is very well done, and believable to the reader. The dynamic between the step sisters is also very well constructed.

Keep it up. I really enjoyed reading this.

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Great Start!

The story is fast paced, but I guess that fits the trope, and you explained that the grammar is part of the genre/plot, so I see how that plays a part. I think this is a solid foundation to build a steamy and thrilling story. I did struggle a little to follow the dialogue (in terms of who was speaking what), but I still managed to understand the general plot so far. I would recommend perhaps building the settling and situation up more, as the interview portion and the car ride home felt rushed. I like that we get to the good stuff rather quickly, because the romance aspect is something that you can execute very well.

I like how the disjointed feel of the writing mirrors the main characters' childlike mind, and as the reader we definitely get a feel for the inner workings of the main character.

I think you of the strongest parts of your writing is the plot. Even though you've only uploaded the first 6 chapters, I can see that the captivating thing about this story is really the plot, and the dynamic between the two main characters

Keep it up, I'd love to see where this story goes.

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Amazing!!

They plot is very engaging and the story very quickly intrigued me which is amazing. Overall, setting is well described, and it feels like you are immersed in this town. As a general the storyline is easy to follow, so it’s not too convoluted.
If I were to give any criticism it would only be mild. These don’t take away from the reading experience, but would take it out to a new level. I feel like the writing could be a little more subtle in disclosing certain events. And overall the writing is very literal, and I hardly see any elaborate effects like similes or metaphors.
This could be typical of the genre so it’s not necessarily bad at all.

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