rotXinXpieces

I don't know why I bother planning things when it never turns out.

I realize I didn't upload anything when I said I would. I was really fired up when I wrote my last message and I had hoped that I could find a groove again, but unfortunately that is not the case.

To start off, my health isnt that great right now. I underwent a couple of procedures this summer that have left me pretty exhausted physically, and I still have to work a paying job.

Second, both sides of my family are having major issues right now. My mother's side doesnt have many people left, so Im trying to budget my time so I can see them as much as I can now.

My dad's side of the family, in case anyone forgot, is from Mexico.

Which brings me to my third thing: I am an American citizen who is currently watching my country slowly buckle under the weight of its own hubris. And before anyone jumps on me for being political, if you've read my books until now, you know that everything I write involves politics in some form or another. So of course I am involved in politics.

This is all to say that I am burnt out and exhausted. I don't have a lot of energy nowadays so what little I have I'm trying to funnel towards these main issues.

Will I get back to writing? Maybe.

If I'm being honest, I haven't written anything since my last post. My energy for writing is nonexistent.

Will I be reuploading the Underworld Chronicles?

Yes. And here's why:

The Underworld Chronicles was built on trauma that my friends and I experienced growing up. It was built on the trauma of screaming for help and having no one care; the normalization of trauma shaping future generations. It was built on the idea of hope; with hope, we have the drive to keep going. It was built on the ideas and personalities I was around. It was built on fantasizes of hope, peace, love, and courage. It was built on the idea of people who were viewed as victims becoming the very leaders their people needed to progress.

It was started when I was 14. It was shared when I ran into writers' block with another story. And I kept writing and building, watching these characters experience untold horrors just like real people, and seeing them fight for their happy endings, even if they weren't perfectly wrapped up in neat little pretty tales.

Not all happy endings are perfect. Not all happy endings end with fantastical happily ever afters.

Sometimes the horrors linger. Sometimes they jump scare us in the middle of our happiness. Sometimes they persist, yet so do our heroes.

I think one of the reasons I had trouble ending the series was that I was so emotionally invested, because this series was part of my childhood, part of me.

I wanted to finish with the Legacy series because I wanted to show people that the horrors will always be there, but the drive to find peace and happiness will always persist as well. The only way to stop the horrors is to stop it at the root, not the symptom.

And yes. My books are/were graphic and full of horrors.

I did apply warnings to them and when i reupload, I will make them much clearer, but here's something to keep in mind: I can warn you of the horrors. I can warn you of the trauma. Of the triggering.

At the end of the day, you make the decision to read the books despite those warnings. I am definitely an asshole for writing graphic horror, but there is a reason I utilize this level of trauma story-telling in this particular series.

I cannot sanitize the horrors to make them palatable. That would defeat the purpose of showing you how ugly and nasty the world can be. The point of the graphic horror is to bring attention to sexual violence and torture. See what happens when someone is given the power to do whatever they want. See what happens when a monster is empowered by other monsters. See what happens when someone is abandoned. See what happens when there is no hope.

The characters don't all start out hunky dory either. Not at all. Most of my characters are assholes. Trauma is experienced and expressed differently by each individual. Some people become bitter and sour, some become hopeful and courageous, some become fearful, some become comedic.

Some of them do get their happy endings.
Some of them do not.
Some of them do not survive.
Some of them become the very monsters they feared.

My books are about all of those and more.

I recently sat down with my therapist as well as some of my friends who went through the horrors depicted. I shared my books with them and explained everything I explained above. My therapist always loved hearing about my books and when I told her I didn't feel like writing much anymore, she told me maybe it's time to take a step back and reconfigure.

"It sounds like you forgot why you write all of this in the first place. When I first met you, you were animated and excited to share these stories. It was a deep psychological journey. It's not finished, but sometimes journeys require rest and recuperation to figure out where to go next. And that is okay."

I don't like taking breaks and when i do, I feel like everything is overwhelming and I'm crushed under the weight and will never come back.

But sometimes that's the only choice.

So despite feeling angry and hurt and depressed, I am not going to say I will stop writing.

But I need a longer break than I thought.

So, to draw this message to a close, I would like to reassure you the reuploads of the original books with properly labeled warnings. When will they be available? Soon. I have to do the slow tedious task of moving everything from my files here to Inkitt.

I will not be posting anything new for now.

If you're wondering where my other works went, it is with a heavy heart I inform you that i have lost all copies of the following series:

I Kissed a Boy (the original series)
Moonstone Romance
The Council of Seven

I failed to properly save and format these works before my departure from Wattpad and they were lost in the move. I do have these partially rewritten, but right now, they're sitting untouched.

I do want to extend a final apology to everyone who read my work and felt basically cockblocked when I left. These books were meant to send a message, each one individual and unique to the survivor of each tale. Whether you learned to hope, learned some sassy language, gained an interest in history or mythology.

I also would like to extend a thank you to everyone of you as well. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my works, no matter how you felt about them. To me, time is precious and valuable and many of you chose to dedicate time to my work. For that, I am eternally grateful.

I have no time line for uploads, just check back every so often to see what's been reuploaded.

Side note: I was gonna make this a video, but if I'm being honest, I don't even like taking pictures or looking in the mirror, so I gave up on that particular goal for now. Maybe some day, but not today.

Until next time,
Rotty

Hi, I’m just wondering about your website that you had with all the characters and that on. Have you closed it down or is it still there, if so could you tell me where to find it please? Thank you 🩵

Will the duat series make a comeback?

i hope we get more of three, six, and Hadrian

AO3 is down wth do I do

Hi, I was just wondering if different AU/ different universe fics were allowed? Or even crossovers? Hope you are doing well!( ́ ▽ ` )ノ

I read your message. wishing you the best. maybe this might help. you said you couldnt find any copies of these books I did some searching trying to find them and some very kind person on reddit saved them as EPUB files. I can forward them to you if you would like.

Hi, I have a question
Did hades and blain have Intercourse for ambrosious? I think its not clearly said in any book. Don’t misunderstand I am just really curious

Missing the underworld chronicles so bad, but especially legacies :/ I need to know what happened with Wren and Jasper!!! And poor, sweet, beautiful Ryk! And the throuple!!


But no rush, Rotty. Hope you feel better soon

rotty u should read/watch banana fish I promise it’s not a trap