Sam Marie

Bad Blood

I think the plot is really good. However, I occasionally got confused my who was who. There were quite a few people introduced so early on and it took me time to get then straight. I had to re-read some parts to better understand what was being said so I would recommend smoothing out some sentences.

Review

Great job on painting a scene and really making the reader feel the characters struggles. I would have liked more conversation between the characters so I could connect more with the storyline though.

Keep at It

I think the plot and story line have a ton of potential. There are a lot of complex story lines and characters, which would benefit from more description. The pacing is quick. I recommend the author slow down the pacing and provide more detail on the background and current events.

The other recommendations provided in the reviews and comments are great and I'd focus on the fact that everyone can agree there is a ton of potential here! Inkitt is a great place for first drafts, so keep at it and this could really be something great! :)

Cant get enough!!!

Love everything about this! Great plot, character building and steamy scenes.

Review

Theres a lot of drama and you provide a lot of detail in the events that take place!

Review

Great dynamic between the different characters. I think your story has a lot of potential! You provide just enough detail in your scenes, moving the read along at a good pace

Review

You provide a lot of detail and description to form the story. I didnt notice any major mistakes, which is really great! Its hard to edit your own stories. Some sentences might benefit from slight restructuring of the sentence, but otherwise I think you have a fun heartfelt story building.

Realist futurist world!

Im really intrigued by the main characters. Their lifes are very different and while i dont see how they entertwine just yet, im anticipating something really unique that is beffitting of your unique story! The writing is well done and creative!

Rooting for Jaleena!

I agree with the other comments about the main character. She has a lot of fire and determination, its a great fit and very believable for the plot. As much as anxiety as the first few chapters gave me, i think you could add a little more detail. That suspense is so great before making the transition to the new storyline (trying not to add spoilers here!). Great idea and keep writing!!

Excellent writing

Your writing style is spot on for this type of plot and the characters. Im getting total 1980s detective movie vibes. The tone, the setence structure, the diction is a pretty fit for the book. This isnt my preferred genre, but it definitely made me curious to read more.

Keep reading

I was skeptical at first. However, when it gets further into the main characters life, i found the situations he puts himself in to be dramatic and uniquely accurate, in a way a lot of books dont touch. Great job!

Can Asher ever redeem himself?

I loved the storyline. It was a petty typical good girl likes badboy high school plot, but I found myself sucked in completely and unable to quit reading. The main character was sweet and I was honestly shocked at the end. She deserves better than all the men in her life, including Asher. I know he tried redeeming himself, but everything about teenage and man Asher screamed red flags at me. I wouldnt have made the same decisions as the characters in the book, but that was another reason I loved this story. Not every book should end in people doing the logical thing. Love isn't always logical! Great job!

Completely unexpected

Outside of some grammatical issues, the basis of the storyline os unique and a fun twist on erotica novels! Great job!