Sarah Luongo

Deserving of Great Praise

I'm a big fan of the format of the book- the concept of incorporating poems and within the story and sectioning off periods of the story with each poem. It made it easier to read, and made the unimaginable easier to comprehend. What some people may skip over may be the most important part in this book, and the way you've written the story, readers are less likely to skip these alternate endings. These alternate endings very much intrigued me as well. In a way it creates a more personal, author reader relationship, while at the same time there is no way to know the level of sincerity. This is an epic, psychological book pertaining to the big questions of life, death, and love. It took about a week for me to read in its entirety. Aside from noticeable spelling and grammatical errors throughout the book, I believe this book deserves great praise.

Not as Good Together

These poems seem simple but are curated with little flow that the book in its entirety becomes difficult to understand. There are also noticeable spelling and grammar mistakes that had distracted me from each poem. As individuals, each poem is good to say the least. I especially enjoyed the poem "Art for an Artist", but together they do not exactly complement eachother. In fact the way that it is curated, some poems seem to take away from the value of their neighbors.

A Great Start

This was a very quick read for me, and I think it is a great start to the full story. The set up seems interesting, but not so predictable that I don't wonder what will happen next. I didn't really find any issues with grammar and I'm excited to read the rest of the book.

Hope It's Not the End

Despite some noticeable grammatical errors, I generally enjoyed this book. It took a long time for me to read, but the relationships between all of the characters was enjoyable, relatable, and somewhat predictable. With such an abrupt ending, the reader is kept wondering, and so I hope readers will soon get to enjoy a continuation of the story.

Looking Forward

It's much longer than I expected a 4 chapter story to be, but it is a compelling start. I'm looking forward to future chapters in the points of view Kayen, his brother, and the devil currently inside Kayen's body.

Barely a Slow Moment

This book really caught my attention. There is barely ever a slow moment and if so, it is with anticipation and transition. With such an abrupt ending, this book would not work as a stand alone, so I'm glad you are making a series. There are some grammar and punctuation errors but nothing that's not fixable or easily understood. I'm excited to read more.

Message is There, But Could Be Better

This poem definitely reflects bullying as you wished to, but I would like to suggest including others and how they are seen to this person. Does this person have a family? Are they abusive, neglectful, or simply ghosts to this person? There's some grammar and spelling issues that I noticed as well, but as I had mentioned before your message comes across and that is important.

Some Analysis Required

These poems are not as simple as what I have been reading as of recent. There is some analysis that these poems seem to require, and I myself believe that as much as readers wish they could enter into fantasy worlds, they must eventually put down that book and face the hustle and bustle of reality. Considering the community you decided to post in, it is extremely appropriate. Punctuation is surprisingly strong as well.

Not Commercial

This poem seems to resemble the religious Dude of Christmas, and to notice that one needs to see past the commercialism of the sacred holiday. It's simple and almost brings back the religious roots of the holiday and its celebration.

Dorky, Clear, and Simple

I have to admit that I am a dork for both poetry and Star Wars. This poem is simply that- dorky and fun, but it is not just for those fans. I think that this could be interpreted in a deeper and relatable way as well, but the goal of this poem is clear and simple.

Good Overall

Overall I think the poems are good. I believe it would've been a better idea to order them chronologically forward instead of backward. That way you could more easily add on new works and make your current work even better.

Affects Every Sense

The story is very simple and easy to imagine in all senses. It takes a minute to read. The story's warmth should make a reader smile. There is no punctuation at all, so I think that should be looked at. Added punctuation will most likely create an even more effective message.

A Choice in Design

This took me minutes to read, which was very convenient. It is simple and needs no analyzation. It's playful and casual font along with consistent lower case i's may bother other writers, but I find it more of a focused choice in design. Further designing this book, it should be even more interactive and relatable while still focusing on the poems.

Has to be Heard AND Read for a Proper Review

This poem is interesting and deserves a second read, but I believe that with slam poetry it is mostly about the delivery. A proper review of a slam poem, I believe, would be both after reading AND hearing it read. Since I have not heard you read it I can not properly review it.

Chilling From Beginning to End

This is a very chilling story from beginning to end. I was able to read it with ease within a couple of hours, and the cultural word banks I found very helpful. Please put astrics on those words so that it will be an even more helpful reference as the reader reads. There are punctuation errors, but not enough to interrupt the flow of the story. Overall I think there is a great story beginning to develop and I can't wait to read more.

Makes Me LOL

This is a quick and interesting short story that had me laughing from the beginning. The seriousness of a not so serious topic is duly appreciated. There are some noticeable spelling and punctuation errors, but not enough to take away from the story. I think ideas/jokes such as coffee powered adults are a bit scattered and unnecessary toward the story as a whole, but enjoyable nonetheless.

No Further Analysis

This is a very simple and playful poem that made me smile early in the morning. Surely it will do the same to others who read it. There is noticeable spelling errors, but the message is clear. It's a quick and easy read that could easily be further analyzed, but does not seem like deep analysis was the intention.

Not Exactly a Story

It was definitely hard for me to put the pieces of this story together at first, but once I realized that this is more of a journal format and less of a story, I understood. This story should be relatable for almost anyone, myself as a writer and single young person. There were a few noticeable grammar mistakes and I think a few graphic changes could make the format and the message of the story more clear.

It's Got Potential

So far I think this is an interesting introduction that gives insight to all these different characters ideas and perspectives, and I am hoping that throughout the book we will understand these current characters more deeply rather than introduce many more. There are noticeable grammar, punctuation, and spelling issues, but I like the potential plot points of the story starting to build and so far I am fairly enjoying your writing style. I particularly enjoy the italics chapter introductions that seperate themselves from the story.

An Overwhelmingly Long Elementary Book

This is a very quick read, at least for me, maybe not for the ideal audience of elementary school children. This is definitely fun, visual, and very creative. The plot comes and goes extremely quickly, which is a bit of a bummer since that is what a story should rely on. A bit more suspense or something to keep the reader on their toes would be an improvement. Beyond the Rainbow definitely gives readers the wanted experience of a wonderland, but the danger and worries should be just as present. Otherwise it feels like an overwhelmingly long toddler's book.

Can't Wait for More

This is a great start and I can't wait to read more. I really like the idea and the many possible directions it could go in. There aren't many grammatical errors I could find. It went by so fast that I didn't even realize it was over. Can't wait for more!

Semi-Quick Read

This definitely took time for me to get into but once I did it was a semi-quick read. There were some points that I thought dragged in the beginning and others I wanted to hear more about throughout. I love reading the different viewpoints, but the grammar, spelling, and punctuation needs A LOT of work.

Hooked

My friend recommended this to me and I was hooked immediately. The images and voices of these characters come so clearly in my head, which I love. I love seeing from all of these characters points of view, and still the book has a continuous flow. There are some punctuation and grammar mistakes, but not too bad that it's not readable.

Waiting For More

This is already awesome and I was hooked since the first book. I'm very anxious to continue reading this. In both the first and second book there are some noticeable grammatical errors, but not enough that I couldn't understand.

Not My Type

There's nothing I find particularly wrong with this novel. The story is simply hard for my to fully take in and keep my attention. I'm not sure what I expected but I was skeptical from the start as to if I would like it personally. It's not a book I would normally pick up, but I think I'm ultimately glad I took a look at it.

Semi cliché

This was a fast read for me. It has a lot of potential, but is definitely semi cliché with only semi developed conflict. Being the same age as the main character it had an aspect of relatability and multiple laugh out loud moments. As for the grammar, there were multiple times where I had to stop myself in order to put together a sentence.