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This is a very interesting Science Fiction dystopia, set in 2045, part of which I read before. The concept is believable. The world has been taken over by Sensirs, un-human creatures. They have destroyed the world by a powerful heat that burned everything down. The only thing that remains from the past civilization is Union City Station in Washington DC where the remaining humans are scanned to work. I like that expression.
The Sensirs (sensors?) are building a subterranean city and Irish is an engineer who's working with them. Although the genders or the faces of the Sensirs are hidden from the humans, he has seen one that charges itself through the electric wires. I think you need a little more description here.
The humans still live on earth, but on golf ball like spheres held on upside down metal cones because the surface of the earth is too hot and it melts and burns everything. I have two questions here. If the surface of the earth is too hot, shouldn't it be hotter inside where they're building a city? Or is it being burned/scorched from the outside while the inside remains cool? And if the surface is too hot, how do they walk to the station? Someone gives them a lift?
I like the scene where the satellite dishes are hanging in the air like chandeliers. The humans do not have any reminders of the past, any books or social media. Irish is privileged to keep his dad's Rolex watch and he has a pen and some paper and he's writing. Irish is an engineer working on the subterranean city. I like the way he has escaped the heat by hiding in a freezer.
Regarding the writing, it needs editing for typos, gulf ball-golf ball, sole-soul, are some examples, some punctuation, missing apostrophes, and general tightening. There are some tense issues. The narration is in the present tense, although there are some sentences where both tenses are used or a sentence in present tense is followed by one in the past tense. Once these minor issues are fixed, the reading would flow better and engage the reader more.
Good luck and best wishes with this,
The Island of Bliss
This is a very delicate story with a wonderful voice. The imagery, descriptions and the gentle flow makes it a hypnotic read. The voice is very effective, the prose almost poetic. It's poignant, yet not melodramatic. The visual imagery sets the island scene, the house, the sea and the beach while the story develops. Longing for a missing lover, she prepares herself, her home and cooks dinner for him. She goes to meet him, the sea calls her, and she finds him there ...
A gripping, well-written story about a young girl who is haunted by the man she has killed. The story flows with fast-paced tension while Jo tries to deal with the ghost from the past. Self-defence or otherwise, the act of killing hurts her conscience, so in a way she will never be free of this man, no matter where she goes. She seeks comfort from the Raven and Isis, but they're not able to help her much unless she deals with and settles the problem in her heart. A dark tale about how the human psyche commands and influences our actions and daily life. The problem is within and it can only be solved within, not by changing the environment.Read the story now
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