shanataube

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Review of Ch. 1

This is just a review of the first chapter, so don't be frightened at the review! (:

I love how descriptive and informing the beginning is. You write very well. However, the beginning was slightly choppy, in the sense that it went from going to dinner, explaining the character, to an answer to a question. It felt awkward to read.
I think the 10th paragraph ("New Yorkers skewed...") was incomplete. I wanted more information.
Personally, I would change "Independence Day Two" to something else. Though the story is set in New York, it feels more like a fantasy Earth.
The first chapter was very good. I'd change a few things to make the story a little more clear. However, I do want to read further to see what these dog laws are. It's an interesting story.

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