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Sonya Gammon
Review of first chapter
The writing needs more focus. I loved the blurb, though, so the next chapters should be interesting. It was hard to get into the story also because of the grammatical errors. For example, it is "coat of arms" instead of "cote of arms." Periods also belong inside quotation marks. More commas and periods are needed throughout the text and the chapter is riddled with sentence fragments. However, there's a story here. Keep writing!
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