Absolute banger, and underrated!
"I really loved it.
To start with, you have used the sentence "Far, far away." which made me drawn to it straight away. It was a very short sentence to begin your story but you knew what you was doing and included as it creates a beautiful effect as you end the story with the very same sentence. For me personally it tells me A LOT about the story itself. An excellent use of the technique of cyclic structure allowing us readers to infer so much things about the character's feelings, setting theme etc. For someone as young as you it's mind blowing that you are able to include a wide range of specific and lovely details in your story.
As the story goes on, the readers will realize that you like to zoom in and zoom out of descriptions. Also, LOVE the technique where you describe the girl's voice and then when the driver speaks, it's totally the opposite. Really shows how you wanted us readers to understand the relationship the two of them have. Baring in mind the girl's physicality, attitude and even her positions we can read her like a book (ironic).
You let the reader have their own meaning of the story and translate the bonds and back stories in their own.
The ending was epic but came fast (for me). I haven't had enough of the story yet and it really disturbed my mind. I'm guessing this was an effect that you added on purpose as looking on the other side, the story would have been boring if you didn't end the description and went onto the turning point. At the end, the readers can realize that you had put a lot of foreshadowing techniques THROUGHOUT the whole story. It's almost like a string that connects all these and finally curls at the end.
If I had more chances to praise this story I WOULD. You should definitely take the win with this story (fingers crossed). I want to see you succeed and become a successful author! Keep it up! "
