Can't Pretend (Royalty #4)

When Winter and I met, we were young, eighteen, we were both in college, and deeply in love. We were free spirits. People had warned me about Winter, though, especially her feelings about people who weren’t straight, but I was blinded by love and beauty. Winter had long, curly black hair and dark brown eyes that you could get lost in. I learned the hard way what people meant when they said Winter didn’t like people who weren’t straight or didn’t fit into gender stereotypes.

Winter got pregnant the year we finished college, we were twenty, still young and unstable and while she was still seeing through rose-coloured glasses, I wasn’t. I wasn’t ready for a child or to commit to her. I told her I needed a break, and soon after I told her we needed to break it off, it was too soon. I told her if she didn’t want to keep the baby, she could abort it, there would be no hard feelings if she did, and she lost it. She was screaming and bawling, saying we couldn’t kill our child.

I walked away to clear my head and calm down, and tried to contact her again later, only to find my number had been blocked.

I found out from old friends and other sources about Ree coming out, but news about the baby was sparse and had mixed messages. I decided it was best to move on, as that was what I had intended to do either way originally. Winter didn’t seem interested in having contact with me anyway.

Rei and I met several years later. I had matured and wasn’t half in the closet anymore. I was out and proud and had moved away from the main city of Evermore, so I wouldn’t be reminded of Winter to a small town named Wadeca. It was much smaller and quieter. I moved into a two-bedroom house and found a job at a candy store. I soon learned Rei was a regular customer there. I saw him come in often by himself, but one rainy day, I saw him outside waiting for the bus, holding a baby. I could hear it wailing from inside the store. I could tell it was getting on some people’s nerves, but I could tell Rei was trying as hard as he could to quiet the baby, and they just kept crying. I excused myself for my break, put my coat on and went outside.

“Could I try?” I asked quietly, approaching Rei.

Children had always liked me; anytime I was given any of my family members as babies, they would quiet down right away. I didn’t understand it myself any more than any of them. I chalked it up to having a comforting presence.

Rei looked at me nervously but seemed desperate to quiet her because people were staring. He handed her off to me, and I started rocking her, and she slowly quieted down before falling asleep.

Rei sighed in relief.

“Her name’s Hina, thank you,” he whispered.

“Is she yours?” I ask.

I didn’t want to assume.

“No, she’s my sister’s, although since she left her here, she might as well be mine,” he commented. “She’s still not used to me, as you can see.”

I didn’t dig deeper at first, not wanting to invade his privacy when I didn’t know him.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Apollo,” I replied, glancing down at the baby. For a second, I wondered what my own kid would have looked like.

“My name’s Rei, thank you for calming her down,” he added.

“You’re welcome,” I replied.

“How do you do it?” he then asked.

“Babies have always liked me. I understand it about as much as you do,” I replied, shrugging. “Do you want her back?” I asked, looking up at him.

“She’ll probably start screaming again,” he replied, also shrugging.

“Do you have help looking after her? I know kids can be stressful, maybe it would be easier if you had help,” I reason.

He shook his head, taking Hina back gently, trying not to disturb her. She managed to stay quiet. “No, I don’t have help, I don’t know who would want to help either.”

I wondered why his sister had left Hina in his care, or left at all. Hina wasn’t his responsibility.

I looked at him holding Hina, looking down at her. He looked cute with the baby in his arms. I wanted to take him and hug him, but he might find that creepy or uncomfortable.

“I could help you,” I state nervously, but I wanted to help him.

He needed it, and I didn’t mind using my gift if it meant Rei would be less stressed and if it meant actually seeing him smile. He looked back up at me.

“No, this is my problem. I didn’t mean to bother you with it,” he exclaims quickly.

“She’s not yours. I don’t know why your sister left her with you, but you do need help, or you’re going to run yourself dry,” I commented. “Plus, I want to help you.”

“Are you sure?” he asks quietly.

I looked over him and Hina again. I knew before I was too young and Winter wasn’t the right person; I would have had to hide myself with her. But with him, I knew I didn’t have to. He had already accepted this baby into his life, even though she wasn’t his and he had no duty to look after her, he was.

“Yes,” I replied, still looking down at Hina and smiling. When I looked back up, Rei was holding out a card to me. I took the card; it had his number on it, the name of a company he worked for as a designer.

“Call me when you’re available, and we can sit down and talk about how this is going to work, I guess,” he replied, still sounding unsure.

“I will, see you,” I commented.

I went and got lunch before returning to work. I looked at my schedule. If I took the night shift with Hina, he could work during that time while I looked after Hina and still be able to go to work from 7:00 am and get off at 3:00 pm at the candy shop. I had the next day off, so I decided to call Rei tomorrow so we could meet up and talk it over. I wasn't overly attached to my house, but I wasn’t sure Rei would be open to the idea of me staying at his to watch Hina. It would be easier than taking her over to my house, which wasn’t baby-proofed either, though.

The next morning, I called Rei, and it sounded like he hadn’t gotten much sleep. Hina must have kept him up.

“I could come over now and watch her while you try to get some sleep; you sound like you need it,” I reasoned. “After that, I could take the night shift after I get off of work at three.”

“You can’t be serious, Apollo. We just met. Hina isn’t your responsibility.”

“No, but you clearly need help; it’s not bad to need help. I’m just offering it,” I reply.

He sighs, “Okay, I’ll text you the address,” he whispers before hanging up.

His address comes through over text, and I put it into my GPS and drive over there. I knock lightly on his door. He answers, and it’s even clearer that he hasn’t slept.

I take Hina right out of his arms and step inside.

“You look like you got punched in the face. Go to sleep,” I state.

“Okay, wake me if you need anything, though,” he replied, yawning.

He disappeared into the back of the small house that reminded me of my own. It had a small living room with leather couches, a TV and a dark-wooden entertainment stand. Some pictures of him and two other women hung on the wall, I assumed one was his mother and the other his sister.

I took Hina and placed her under a mobile lying on the floor and watched her kick and grab at the hanging toys above. She was cute with her dark hair and Asian complexion. Rei had dressed her in a blue skirt and black top and put her short dark hair up in pointy ponytails. She giggled at the toys, swiping at them and watching them swing back and forth. Eventually, she started to cry, so I went in search of a bottle and some formula. I found it in the fridge, heated it up and fed it to her. Then I burped her before setting her down on her belly on the playmat. I played peek-a-boo with her for a bit before putting her down for a nap, too. When she woke, I brought her into her room and changed her.

I brought one of her rockers out into the living room, set her in there, flipped the TV on and gave her a toy rattle and a soother. I rocked her, only half paying attention to the TV, which had some crappy Hallmark movie playing on it.

“What time is it?” I heard Rei ask. I turned and saw him standing in the hall, rubbing his eyes.

“Almost four,” I replied.

“Did I sleep for that long?” he commented.

“I told you, you needed it,” I retort, tickling Hina’s feet. She laughs.

I smile.

“I’m surprised she didn’t wake me up; she always wakes me up,” he replies.

“That’s why you need someone else. I kept her quiet and happy so you could sleep,” I comment. “Are you okay with me sleeping here to look after her at night when you work?” I ask after.

He looked unsure, which was understandable; he had just met me.

“I guess I have to be, if I want to get normal sleep and work hours,” he replies.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at four then,” I comment.

“Right, thank you, Apollo, for everything,” he replies and gives me a small smile.

It’s the first time I’ve seen him smile in a while, aside from when he used to come buy candy from our shop, because who doesn’t love candy?