Magnus_K

Every Hour, On The Hour

I don't read a lot of horror books, this one had an interesting concept and way of communication to the main character what was going on. I think it might have been a bit obvious that Vera was dead even with all the explanations her sister came up with though. It will be interesting to see how the hacker went from her computer to hacking her phone and killing her and why.

Sinister

The main character Levy seems interesting, but I spotted some inconsistencies in the story, the brothers' ages, some missing or wrong words, and spelling errors and feel Levy's body is overemphasized in the first chapter. Continue working on the story, I think you could use more description in both your settings and characters, too.

Review

The character is one who is supposed to be of a rational mind, yet, she is seeing things she isn't sure are real. It reminds me of a polished Reddit story, capturing, intriguing, the short story is interesting and could be continued if we wanted to know what happened when she went outside. But this is also a good element as we are left to interpret what happened when she went outside to face the shadow beings with weapons. The grammar could use a little bit of work but other than that it's a great psychological horror short story.

The Sound Of Silence

An interesting and different concept. The story seems to go beyond telling a simple story from beginning to end and has a meaning or lesson that is taught throughout it. I did spot a few grammar errors and missing words but other than that it's quite driving and keeps the reader hooked.

Reminiscent

The plot, characters and their development are all eye-catching. It is very realistic and relatable which drives a reader to connect parts of themselves with the characters. It reminds me of Aristotle & Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. The only thing I think you could improve upon is the longer paragraphs, it is easy to get lost in a long wall of text. If everything in the paragraph seems necessary you may want to split them up into smaller paragraphs. I look forward to the rest of the story.

In Your Direction

Interesting, it could be expanded on further, more detail about the characters' pasts, (her running away from home and her reasons). Fix the grammar and capitalization of I. I like the style and descriptions, keep up the good work.

Emotional

Everyone wishes for an Ethan at some point in their life, someone who is understanding and loves you for who you are and is willing to defend you from the assholes in the world, (you know who you are). The physical limitations were interesting as well as Ethan being a writer and his modesty. I like watching Andrew grow to have some self-respect for himself and accept that Ethan really loves him, Andrew went from being alone in a cabin on the outskirts of a town to having a little family. It would be cool if you continued the story, we could see how Andrew continues to cope with his disabilities, maybe make them become more severe or bring the ex back. We could see Devin grow up and how she'd cope with two dads rather than the normal family situation. I did see a few grammar errors as well.

Mesmerizing

It's interesting because it's set in the past rather than in the present. You have to deal with all the issues of homosexuality not being accepted in the late 1940s. I like the chemistry between William and Jack and the dynamic of having a child in the middle of all of it. It kind of reminded me of my novel, Poisoned Light. Some of the grammar could be worked on, I noticed a few missing words but other than that it's a well-rounded story with a simple ending.

Captivating

The personalities are defined, character traits and plot are capturing. There are quite a few grammar errors, missing words, some spelling mistakes, using plural when it should be singular in the prologue. I think the story would be interesting if continued and made a full book. The psychic and training aspects are fascinating as well as the world system of creating places for people to live in space.

Interesting

I'm not really into erotica or heavy romance novels, but the​ plot seems interesting and well paced for a longer novel, the grammar in the early chapters could really use some work and setting description could improve as well.

Emotional

This addresses what it's really like to feel depression, you become so hopeless at a point that you don't think it is worth living and so you decide to end it or attempt to. People usually do regret attempting on their own life. The song you mentioned, Cough Syrup, by Young the Giant, right? I can see the parallels and connections and the taking of one more pill as representation of the line, "One more spoon of cough syrup now," was beautiful, dark obviously, but a good physical representation nonetheless. I also like the subtle mention of the boy being gay, like he made such a big deal of it well he was alive but now that he's dying he wishes he was more true to himself and the person he wanted to be with. Normally, you see that with the homophobic parents after they have lost a child and realized their acceptance could have helped them rather than in the child, but I guess normally you wouldn't hear from the child because of what they decided to do. I did notice a few grammar and spelling errors but other than that it's great. Keep up the writing.