Amazing Potential!

"Loved the character interactions with each other and narrator's voices. Most of my feedback has been provided in the chapter comments. Break up walls of text and use Grammarly to help with grammatical, spelling, and tense errors. Edit out repetition by using different adjectives or rewriting lines with more impactful words. USE MORE SENSES! Using numerous senses really gets readers involved. Providing what character's smell, hear and touch can improve reader immersion massively. Try to keep words like "is, was, feel, look, began" to a minimum. I also struggle to keep these tips in mind, but the more you try the easier it will be to use in future. Good luck!"