My Solitude

“Maybe this wasn’t my best idea,” I muttered to myself for maybe the twentieth time today. I looked around my new home and sighed. I considered myself a capable and intelligent person for the most part, so how, then, did I get myself into this mess? Oh yeah, I broke up with my boyfriend of two years and that snowballed into running away and getting as far off the grid as you could get.

It’s not that I was brokenhearted, the first year with Nick was great, but the second is when things started to get stale. We’d fallen into a kind of comfortability that had stagnated into two people who just existed near each other. We hadn’t even been intimate over that last year.

Nick seemed to have distanced himself and whenever I asked questions or tried to have a conversation about it, he would then feign an appointment or obligation, or he would just clam up. The end of the end came when I had found clear signs he was cheating followed by the evidence of his affair when I “surprised” him at his apartment one afternoon. It was a woman from his office whom I had met at one of his companies’ events.

At that point, while I had been angry, he had cheated, but a part of me was almost relieved. I immediately broke up with him, wished him the best, and had any of his belongings that were left at my place couriered to him with a note to just throw anything of mine he had at his place away.

I hadn’t anticipated the relief I felt when the relationship ended. I realized quickly that he’d taken over more aspects of my life than I had realized and that I had been suffocating and hadn’t even known it. Once the relationship was over and I took my first full breath in what seemed like years I felt almost liberated.

Not long after I had made it clear we were over though, Nick started acting extra possessive, and almost stalkerish. He would show up randomly, like at a grocery store nowhere near his work or home that he knew I frequented, at a bar where I’d gotten drinks with friends, and even at a few of my job sites where he had no business being.

There were almost daily phone calls, some he would talk and others he would hang up when I answered. After telling him it needed to stop half a dozen times I just stopped answering. That’s when the flowers started showing up, from a man who had never once gotten me flowers in the 2 years we had dated.

He never apologized, never asked to get back together but instead would act, for all the world, like we were still together and an entirely different couple than what we had actually been. It was when he started showing up at my apartment randomly and aggressively trying to get in that I knew he wasn’t right in the mind.

He’d never seemed unreasonable before, instead, he was just the opposite, he was steadfast and levelheaded, but this was a different Nick. In my mind, I called him Dark Nick even though I knew it sounded ridiculous. But the truth of truths, Dark Nick scared me, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I felt it was only a matter of time before he escalated.

It was after 2 hours of him pounding on my door and only leaving after my neighbor threatened to call the cops that I found myself huddled up with a bottle of wine and my laptop researching property, trying to find a remote getaway to lose myself in and maybe hide away until he chilled out. After a few hours, I came across a listing in Montana, for a modest-sized cabin nestled on 10 acres of pristine wilderness.

There were several stunning pictures of the property but only a couple of the cabin. I knew that could only mean the cabin probably needed some work, but I was up for it, it was how I made my living anyways, renovating old homes.

I was tempted to involve my realtor but dismissed the idea since he and Nick still socialized on occasion. I emailed the realtor who listed it myself and expressed my interest knowing it wouldn’t be until morning that I got a response and started working out what I wanted to do.

My company worked well enough on its own, my foreman and crew could take care of the day-to-day, and we could communicate via phone and email. I had enough expertise in everything to do most of the renovations on the cabin myself, I would only need to call in specialists on rare occasions. I went to bed that night feeling hopeful and maybe slightly drunk.

When I woke up the next morning, I had a message in my inbox from Big Sky Realty providing more details on the property. After a little negotiation, I bought the property sight unseen and was able to close quickly since I was paying cash.

So here I was three weeks later in my new cabin, again wondering at my true intelligence and if I’d made some terrible mistake. The cabin was run down, it still had decent bones, but the wiring and plumbing needed a complete overhaul, it was in desperate need of a new roof, and the only source of heat was a cracked wood stove.

This is what happens when you make an impulse buy and forgo the inspection. I would never do that for my business but apparently, for my own home, I wasn’t as careful.

I sighed, looked around, and tried to re-center my mind toward the positive. This was my home, and I was going to make it perfect. Once I was through here it would be my paradise, my getaway, my sanctuary. My life away from the bustle of the city away from crazy ex’s and away from everyone always wanting a piece of me or my time. My solitude.

“First things first,” I mused out loud, “don’t freeze.” I looked at the wood stove which had seen much better days and eyed the handful of cracks in the chimney pipe. If I were to light a fire right now, I would die of smoke inhalation before the cold ever had its chance, and last night was proof that it got damn cold out here at night even though it was already well into spring and the beginnings of summer.

I looked at my phone and sighed, I was doing that a lot lately, it was already 10 am and I had allowed myself to wallow long enough in self-reproach for my impulsiveness, it was time for action.

I had driven here from my home in San Francisco and made sure to load up my travel workshop with everything I thought I’d need for repairs and renovations and was suddenly glad I had overestimated.

I looked through my trailer and found just what I needed, my welder and steel sheeting so I could patch the cracks and get the heat going. Then I could start making lists and plans for what to do with the place, estimate costs, draw up plans and start ordering supplies.

I was in business mode now and it was time to get to work. It took about 3 hours, but I was satisfied that my work would hold until I replaced the wood stove with something more reliable and I wouldn’t have to worry about lung damage, so that was a bonus. I had a hearty fire going to take the remaining chill out of the cabin and got to work inspecting the rundown building and making notes of what could be salvaged and what needed to go.

About ten minutes in there was a pounding at the front door to the cabin and I froze. I didn’t have any neighbors that were too close by, at least I didn’t think I did, and even so... a neighbor would knock politely and, I’d assumed, not pound on the door like a battering ram.

I stood there frozen, my heart beating out of my chest, and trying to hide under the bed. It must have been a few minutes that I stood there wondering if Nick had found me or if it was some other menace who could do even worse.

Just as I realized I hadn’t even locked my door it slammed open banging heavily against the wall. In the doorway a large feral-looking man, scratch that an angry, large, feral-looking man stood there looking out of breath and as though his head was going to explode.

I stood there just staring in disbelief, battling fear, anger, and embarrassment at the realization that if this was a scary movie, I would indeed be the first to die out of sheer stupidity.

In six long strides, he’d crossed the floor and was in front of me, then without pre-amble or any kind of introduction, he threw me over his shoulder and somehow stomped and rushed back out the door at the same time.

The shock began to wear off as we crossed the threshold and reality sank in. That a stranger had just broken into my home and was now abducting me.

I began to fight back. I yelled for him to put me down and pounded my fists into his back. A back that was so hard that I was sure my fists would be bruised later.

We were about eight or so yards away from my cabin when he flipped me back over his shoulder and plopped me unceremoniously onto the ground.

“Great” I muttered angrily to myself, “now I’m going to have a bruised ass too!” The man glared down at me.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” His voice seethed the words at me, and anger consumed me and washed away the fear that had frozen my body and mind only moments before.

“Listen asshole,” I seethed right back with as much venom as I could, “as much as I appreciate being manhandled by a complete stranger, a stranger who broke into my home and forced me out the door, you are trespassing and if you don’t explain yourself in the next five seconds I am calling the sheriff and he can figure out what to do with your testosterone filled ass!”

By the end I realized my voice had gone a little shrill, it even hurt my own ears but what could I say? I was recovering from a near heart attack. I breathed heavily as I waited for his answer trying to ignore the incredibly masculine being in front of me that had suddenly assaulted all of my senses and tried to maintain my focus and anger.

He softened a little then perhaps realizing he’d behaved like a caveman, but his voice was no less angry when he spoke again. “Those are some aggressive words to the man who most likely just saved your life. Next time a little gratitude would suffice.”

“Gratitude?” I whispered trying to grasp what the hell he was talking about. “What do you mean saved my life? From what?”

“From carbon monoxide poisoning, smoke inhalation. That wood stove is busted, I bet you didn’t even notice the cracks, out here princess, you need to be smarter.” His tone was condescending, but it didn’t feel sincere it was like he was trying for condescending to mask something else, still, I bristled.

I had spent years earning the respect of those around me. And those who knew my reputation would have never called me princess and would have never accused me of being an idiot.

“This is where common courtesy would come in handy, had you knocked politely and explained your concern, I could have explained to you that I had already repaired the cracks in the wood stove, tested it, and ensured it was safe. I would have expressed gratitude for the well-meaning warning, and we could have moved on from there." I glared at him.

"Instead, you’re now about two minutes away from needing an operation to retrieve your testicles from your spleen.” I was done with this conversation and with his presence. I had work to do and he needed to leave.

He then did something I did not expect, he laughed. Not a mocking or condescending laugh but a full-out laugh. “I am the asshole then aren’t I?” he finally responded.

“Look, you’re right and I am sorry I behaved that way. I thought you were Marvin, ugh Marvin Andrews, he was the guy who lived here before." He scratched behind his ear looking less confident and uncomfortable with the realization he was in the wrong.

"I heard he was moving but didn’t realize it had all happened so fast.” He paused to run his hand through his hair and over his jaw. “I saw the smoke and thought he’d forgotten and lit the stove, when he didn’t answer the door I thought maybe I was too late. Imagine my surprise seeing you standing there dazed.” His eyes had turned warm and it was like I was staring at a completely different person.

My breath caught and I finally really looked at the man towering over me. He was easily 6 ft 3 or more and his clothes did nothing to hide his broad shoulders and narrow waist. The fitted t-shirt he wore hinted at a muscular core and I couldn’t see it now, but I was almost positive the man had a fantastic ass. What can I say? I do like me some man booty.

He had a trimmed full beard and his rich chocolaty brown hair, though pulled back in a man bun looked as though it reached below his shoulders, I could see some remaining summer highlights from the year before that could only be natural.

I knew men in San Francisco who would pay top dollar for this look and to me, it had always just looked ridiculous, but this man pulled it off with an unassuming air and a sense of utility. His full lips and brilliant dark green eyes did nothing but prove to me that he was undoubtedly the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

My breath caught for a moment and I attempted to retain some of my dignity and a little of my anger, resolving not to let him off that easy just because I had a shallow streak, but then he smiled again and it was dazzling.

No man had ever dazzled me before... honestly, I never would have even known what that meant until just now. “I’ll accept your apology for now,” I smiled back “though I would feel better if I knew your name.”

His smile brightened, “Hunter Pierce, and yours?”

Of course, his name is Hunter, I thought to myself. I hesitated to answer for a moment, he seemed perfectly pleasant now, but I was trying very hard to remember that just a few moments ago he’d gone all he-man with a stranger and cave-manned me out my own door.

His smile faltered for a moment as though he could hear my inner monologue. Finally, I sighed and decided it really couldn’t hurt for him to have my name. “Rylee Reeves,” and just to prove I could rise above I extended my hand to make our greeting official.

He chuckled silently before taking my hand in his. “It's somewhat nice to meet you, Hunter. Are you my neighbor?” He smiled and nodded

“If you can call it that out here, but yes I live about a mile to the east of your property, I am pretty sure I’m your closest neighbor though.” He still held my hand, but right when I was about to pull it back, he released it as though only noticing it himself.

“You may have your work cut out for you with this place, the previous owner, Marvin, wasn’t able to keep up with everything around here, I helped when he let me, but he was not usually willing to admit when he needed it.”

He eyed me a moment, “I have a feeling my new neighbor might not be much different.” It was probably a well-meaning joke, and I knew that, but at this point, the stress of the last few months along with the stress of just a moment ago, being forcefully removed from my home and my momentary good temper melted away.

“If I need help, I’ll ask for it, but I can handle most of the work around here, which I should be getting back to, like I said nice to meet you but I have some work to do to make this place habitable.” I saw his frown immediately and knew he was reading my tone loud and clear and my tone said that he could get the hell gone now.

“You shouldn’t underestimate the amount of work, be careful princess because that proud streak might not work in your favor around here.” He grinned, the bastard was having fun, a small part of me… the part that was still five years old wanted to kick him in the shin, shriek, and then go inside and slam the door. This man was infuriating, Princess!?

“As someone who has gone most of their life being underestimated, I am familiar with the concept, this,” I said gesturing to the cabin, “is well within my capabilities. Perhaps you should get to know someone before you determine what is and isn’t in their wheelhouse, Fabio.” I tried to keep my tone moderated and not screechy, there was nothing I hated more than girls who screech at people, but I was on the verge.

Fabio? I suddenly thought to myself, I mean he had longish hair I guess but this guy was way sexier than Fabio. Ugh! I really needed to stop thinking about him like that. His smile slipped again, and this time didn’t return. I just needed to be done with this interaction, I knew, I was not at my best and if I kept this up, I would alienate my closest neighbor which is not something I wanted to do.

“Look, I'm sorry, it’s been a long couple of days, and I have a lot of work ahead of me, I am not trying to be a dick. Thank you for making sure everything was ok, still not a fan of being dragged from my home but I get you were trying to help.”

I turned to go back into the house, feeling the weight of the five thousand different emotions weighing on me. Tears had also started forming, and I never cried, so without a doubt, it was past time for me to be back in my home so I could decompress and try to forget about my very attractive and very annoying neighbor. As I turned to go, however, he caught my arm gently, stopping me.

“Sorry,” he said contritely, shit he could see the tears, “Sorry, for scaring you and sorry for being an ass, the offer stands, even if you don’t need the help, if it could make something a little easier just let me know.” He nodded to me and then headed back to his truck which I had just then noticed was parked behind my SUV. I headed back inside shaking my head, the man probably thought I was a basket case.

Once inside I locked the door and eased my way down it to the floor where I let it all out. The fear of the last few months, the worry that Nick would snap further and do something desperate. The worry that I made a huge mistake buying this place. The long drive here without sleep, then a restless night because I was frozen most of the night. Then the coup de gras someone breaking in and dragging me from my home followed by some serious attraction which confused me.

Today just needed to end. Sitting on the floor I felt the heat from the wood stove warming the cabin and for a little while I let it lull me into a short nap.