Hummingbird
Imogen
When my alarm went off this morning I felt like rolling over and pretending I didn't hear it, but that won't do, not today. It’s time for me to start my life again; why today? I don't know, I keep telling myself that every day for as long as I can remember and I hope that someday it just sticks.
It’s been a year since I finally got out of the toxic relationship I wasted five years in. At the end of it, my confidence was completely shot and I felt completely alienated by everyone I thought was my friend aside from Garrett. Garrett is the one person that is always on my side and I am getting along with his girlfriend, Melonie, pretty well now too. Garrett is a tattoo artist and Melonie does piercing at the shop next to mine.
My shop is located in a small downtown area, a tourist trap, but I am just happy to have a storefront at all. Like all the little beachfront towns in Florida, there is a candy store, wine bar, souvenirs, and a tattoo shop. I’ve spent the last ten years working towards this goal and last year I finally made a profit. Probably because I finally got out from under the negative cloud hanging over me that was my ex, Damon.
I hate going home alone at the end of the day, alone with my thoughts is not good for me so I usually go hang out with Garrett until the tattoo shop closes. Sometimes I get lucky and they use me as a guinea pig for new artists or techniques, sure sometimes it doesn’t work out the best, but Garrett has always fixed me up if needed. It’s fun to have a lot of different people’s artwork on my skin; my tattoos are the one thing about my body that I genuinely like.
I’m doing my best to break out of the mental prison Damon put me in but it’s difficult. When the person who is supposed to love you tells you to lose weight all the time and calls you derogatory names it breaks into your psyche. I’ve been working hard to reframe my image of myself, positive self-talk, all of that but it’s not working.
Tonight when I lock up I head over to the tattoo shop to find Garrett. He’s finishing a job so I hang out with Melonie instead. I think at first she didn’t want me around because she thought I had a thing for Garrett, but nothing could be farther from the truth and she seems to be finally coming around. I’m no threat to her anyway; she is a naturally thin blonde with blue eyes who is gorgeous in every way. I’m short and curvy, a size fourteen with red hair and freckles.
I know realistically I’m not super overweight or obese, I’ve heard the facts about how I’m average size but living in a beach town there is always a thinner girl strutting around in a bikini and it's enough to make me feel less than adequate.
“Have you guys been busy all night?” I ask Melonie as she wipes down her chair.
"Not really, I think Gar is almost done, he has to meet a potential new artist tonight, so his appointments are open," she smiles brightly as she explains.
“How’s your apprenticeship going?”
“Good actually, I’ve been working on these new designs,” she says as she passes me her sketchbook.
She is a talented artist but without a lot of tattoos in her portfolio she’s been stuck in an apprenticeship for a long time. She seems to like piercing though and at least she gets to work and apprentice at the same shop.
“Imogen! I was wondering when you’d grace us with your presence,” Garrett announces as he approaches.
“Haha, I know, I’m a workaholic, and I need to get out more, blah blah blah, save the spiel,” I say sarcastically.
“Tell her Mel, it’s been almost a year, she needs to get laid or something,” Garrett persists.
I smack his arm because everyone in the shop can hear him and half of them are watching us now. What he doesn’t know is that it’s been a year since I was in a relationship, but even longer since any man has touched me. Damon was so disgusted by my body he stopped paying any positive attention to me months before we broke up.
“Way to be discreet, Gar,” Melonie scolds.
“Can we stop talking about my love life now? What are you guys doing later?”
“I have to meet some new guy, if his book looks good we might need a canvas, want to stick around and see?” Garret asks.
“Why not? If his book looks good…” I say.
“You’re braver than me!” Melonie adds.
The bell on the front door rings calling everyone's attention to the front of the shop. In walks the most handsome man I’ve ever seen; tall, broad, wavy dark hair and light brown eyes, his smile is bright and endearing, but his arms are huge and intimidating. Melonie must have noticed me staring because she bumps me with her shoulder as if to snap me out of it.
Garrett walks over to greet the man and after a handshake, he flips a book onto the counter and Garrett starts to look through it. Holy shit! If this is the new guy I don’t know if I can be the guinea pig, I don’t know if I can handle standing near him let alone having him touch me without spontaneously combusting.
I look at Melonie wide-eyed and she just subtly shakes her head up and down like she knows what I’m thinking. Now, this whole thing feels like a setup, let’s see if we can make Imogen squirm. Before long Garrett is approaching us with a smirk on his face and the new guy in tow.
“This is Ash,” Garrett says as he passes me the book, “See what you think.”
What the fuck? His name is Ash, like the looks and the height weren't enough, but someone had to give him a sexy name on top of it?
“Imogen here is always up for a new piece,” Garrett continues, but now he's talking to Ash, “If you’re lucky you can ink her tonight, and if it goes well start tomorrow.”
I feel frozen in place, Ash looks at me expectantly and I can feel heat rising in my face; Melonie nudges me again I guess because I still haven't said anything. The easiest thing to do right now is focus on the book in front of me; the pages are full of vintage-style tattoos with thick lines and bright colors, my favorite style. There is everything from flowers with perfect shading to mermaids, and pinup girls, everything I like. There probably couldn’t be a better match for me artist wise but I don’t know if I can do this.
“So, Gen, you in?” Garrett asks in a hopeful tone.
“These are gorgeous, I, uh…” I stutter.
Before I can finish Ash enters my personal space and grabs my arm, “Is this finished?” he asks as he turns it to look over the artwork there; I do not even want to talk about that voice that sounds like a deep, beautiful lullaby.
All I can think of right now is the electric heat radiating off of his fingers on my arm, he is so hot it burns. I have no idea what he’s talking about, I’m going to die right here, right now.
“I’ve been chipping away at it slowly, she wants a full sleeve,” Garrett chimes in.
My sleeve so far definitely matches his style and usually, I would jump at the chance to get some free work done on my sleeve by an artist this talented, but my jaw is locked shut right now. I can’t make words come out, I look up at Ash and he makes eye contact with me that sends heat straight to my core.
He places a finger on the sensitive skin of my forearm and rubs it gently, “What do you want here?”
I swallow hard, “Hummingbird,” is all I can manage.
