Chapter 1: Yvette
When I first found out I was going to be Lance’s heir, I was excited but also scared. I remember standing beside him when I was ten as they told the kingdom the next heir wouldn’t be a biological one. I remember how unsure and scared the people looked, the dress I was wearing felt heavy and warm then, and I wanted to run away, but I also remember thinking I needed to do this. Cyrus and Lance had fought hard for me to be able to choose my life and be myself and be here with them and Max and my sister. I thought about Nova; without them, I would have been stuck with my grandparents. I wouldn’t have been happy.
I was a princess and crown heir. I should have been excited, and I was, but I also saw how his people looked at me. Like royalty was all in the blood, not in the training or how you were raised, I was determined to prove them wrong. I remember hoping that I’d at least fall in love with a boy and be what they traditionally expected in terms of a monarchy. I hoped I’d be able to have kids back then, too. But the older I grew, the more grateful I was for Lance and Cyrus' support and unconventional relationship, setting the stepping stone for me.
I remember the first time I had feelings for a girl. I was thirteen and scared. I attended one of the parties with Lance and Cyrus. They wanted to bring me so people could get to know me; it wasn’t to find me a suitor, I was too young, and I would be choosing one of my own when I did. I remember watching a girl with long dark hair and dark eyes walk around the room. She must have been a few years older than me, but the grace she held amazed me. I wanted to be her and for her to like me. But she noticed me, and I saw the look of disgust in her eyes eventually. After I didn’t even want to know her name, even though I did learn it eventually, Molly.
I slipped out of the venue and wished for a moment I was normal, but I wasn’t. I took a deep breath and looked up at the moon and the stars in the sky. I felt ashamed for a brief moment, too.
“Yvette?” I heard Lance calling.
I burst out crying then, I had a lot, and I was wishing for more. It shows you that power, money and status don’t necessarily bring you happiness. The big, heavy, oak wooden doors squealed open then, and Lance burst out. Whipping his head in both directions before spotting me. He rested his hands on my shoulders, taking in my tear-stained face before he hugged me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly, holding me.
I had to take a few deep breaths before I could speak with coherent words. I buried my face in his shirt. I remembered how grateful I was that it was him my father had fallen in love with; he was so kind, loving and accepting. He surely couldn’t hate me, could he?
I kept my face pressed to his chest, my eyes away from his dark ones, afraid I would see the same disgust I saw in the girl’s, even though he himself loved my father.
“I like girls,” I whispered.
He pulled away slightly, and I was afraid he was recoiling. But he knelt down on one knee so I could see him. He tried to wipe my tears away.
“What’s wrong with that?” he asked with a small smile. “Cyrus and I love you, no matter who you are or who you like. We fought for you to be able to make that choice. We want you to fall in love and be happy with whoever.”
“Molly looked disgusted when she saw me staring,” I muttered.
“That just means she’s not for you. There will be someone for you. There’s someone for everyone. Cyrus and I will always love you, I can promise you that. You are our daughter,” he reassured me.
“What if the people hate me because I fall in love with a girl and I can’t have kids with her?” I ask shuttering.
“You could also adopt or get a surrogate. You shouldn’t worry about those things; you’re a kid. You should be having fun and having crushes. Don’t worry about adulthood, you’ll cross that bridge when you get to it, but it’s still a long way away,” he replies.
I hugged him again, and I would be forever grateful to him. He dried my tears and took me back inside to find Cyrus before we went home. When I got home, Nova was waiting for me. She was going through this terrible phase of wanting to be a princess. She kept begging to be one, and while I felt bad for her, I knew she wasn’t Cyrus’ or Lance’s child, and she had to be at least adopted into the royal family to be a princess. If they did that, it would disregard Max as her parent, and since he had already lost Tristan, I knew Cyrus and Lance wouldn’t want to take her away, too.
“Why does she get to go to parties and stay out late and be a princess?” she questioned, throwing a fit.
I wasn’t in the mood, though, really to be reasonable, so I just walked past her and shut my bedroom door behind me. I heard Cyrus talking to her. It was hard to explain the logistics of family and her being my half-sister to her when she was only seven. Lance and Cyrus had never treated her any differently because she wasn’t theirs.
She stayed in this jealous phase for quite a while, but one night, when I was sixteen, Lance had been helping me pick my second in command. He said it was better to have someone close to my age that I was good friends with, but also able to consider the consequences of my choices for me, because emotions can get in the way. My best friend, Olive, seemed too invested in being emotional with me whenever something like the incident with Molly happened. But Axel, Mary’s son and my friend, seemed to make quite informed decisions. We had also been friends since we were eight, but I thought back to the fact that even at eight, he had made me consider the fact that my grandparents might come and take me away.
I also knew Axel supported my beliefs, and since his mother had been Lance’s second-in-command, he felt like a good choice, so I told Lance before I suggested it to Axel, who was honoured. We ended up attending another party with Lance, and Cyrus stayed home as he was sore that night.
I remember seeing Molly around, talking to men, and I remember her eyeing Axel at one point. Lance said he was leaving to talk to some friends when she popped up next to us. Her long, silky black hair shone under the lights, and her eyes looked darker than ever, as if she was harbouring some evil scheme.
“Do you enjoy hanging out with the lesbian?” she questioned, looking from me to Axel.
I froze, I wasn’t public about liking girls fully, Olive was the only one who knew, aside from Cyrus, Lance, Max and a few other trusted people.
Axel looked at her.
“Do you like being homophobic?” he countered, eyes unwavering.
I saw him flip the script on her insistently; she looked shocked. I waited for her response.
“You’re handsome, surely you’d rather hang out with a princess who actually likes you,” she comments, trying to regain her composure.
She had definitely chosen the wrong guy to try to win over.
“Who says I like you?” he countered again in return.
“Your loss,” she scoffed.
“I have lost nothing,” he replied as she turned to leave.
She only glared back at him.
Axel returned his attention to me once she was gone.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I replied quietly.
“Do what? Defend you? It’s kind of in my job description, but even if it wasn’t, I still wouldn’t let her badmouth you,” he replied.
“Just because you are my second in command doesn’t mean you always agree with me. If you want a normal life, you can have one. I’m not forcing you to be my second in command,” I reasoned.
“And I’m not forcing myself to agree with you. I said what she was. She’s homophobic. Not only that, but she doesn’t know when to take a hint,” he hissed. “I don’t like her, I never could.”
I paused, mulling over his and my words before speaking.
“Do you not like girls?” I asked.
He looked at me.
“Do you not like boys?” he countered in return.
“We understand each other far better than we know,” he added quietly after looking away. “And sometimes we worry needlessly about those who care for us.”
A small smile spread across my lips.
There was an unspoken understanding afterwards. Axel talked about his crushes often; maybe it was because he finally had someone he could be honest with. Sure, his mother loved him, and others understood him, but since we were both of high status and young, we understood each other more. I was proud of my choice then, but I had yet to learn the hardest thing that might break me, even if Lance had suggested other options around it already.
