Understatement
It was the heavy feeling settling on Laurence’s chest that gave it away. He’d fallen in love but the concept was so foreign to him in the first place. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in love; he did, just… not like this. All in all, it was too much to handle.
Slowly he pulled up outside the pub nearest to his home. He needed a drink. Desperately. So he went to get exactly that. With quick strides, he entered and grabbed a seat at the furthest corner of the room. This was easier for him. Being away from the crowd and lights so he can sort his thoughts out. Hoping to not be bothered by some girl looking for a quick fix or a free drink. He closed his eyes and thought back to the first time he really noticed the person plaguing his mind.
It was the summer of his last year in college. He and his best bud Nate had decided to go out for a drink. College hadn’t been easy and they deserved it. In a couple of months, it’ll probably all be over and they’d be in contact a little less. Maybe Nate would run off to start a tattoo parlour or something. He looked the type. Long dirty blonde hair with Greyish blue eyes. Tall and toned with pale skin. He sported a pair of round glasses covering a good portion of his face and black knob earrings with a matching choker. Laurence on the other hand was your typical jock type. Not overly bulky but in very good shape. He had clean dark skin and curly hair; no doubt from his mother’s Mexican genes. And tall like his father, who was as European as they came, Scottish actually.
“Remind me again why we don’t go drinking more often” Laurence turned to Nate with a smirk that could break any heart and has broken a few.
“Well, firstly there’s this thing called school and it’s kind of a pain in the ass” Nate replied with an annoyed yet obviously playful look. He bit his lip, toying with the piercing; a tick he developed whether he was nervous, bored or just lost in thought. The glint of the silver ring caught Laurence’s eye. It rarely ever escaped his notice if he was being honest. Plump pink lips, soft skin and those eyes. See now, Laurence had a bit of an issue, he wasn’t gay, or even bisexual, he was however interested in touching his friend, just to experience it. To make him cry out, he wanted to hear it. He doesn’t know when this interest started or why he entertained it but he never had time to question it.
Everyone thought like this anyway, it was his best friend, and it was bound to happen eventually. He was pretty sure Nate felt the same to some capacity, but there’s an unspoken rule about the things you’re allowed to say with the bros so obviously you keep it to yourself.
Nate took a peek over his glasses before he muttered, breaking Laurence out of his reverie
“see something you like that much, huh?”
“I’ve seen better” Laurence of course played along because that’s what you do in that sort of a situation; Unspoken rule, obviously he’s teasing. “By the way Nate, you know that blonde girl Ella-Grace from General Studies class?”
“Didn’t she reject you in the first year saying and I quote, ‘i can't mix my DNA with someone like you”’
“Well I guess she changed her mind because we exchanged all sorts of DNA last Wednesday”
“What” Nate croaked out, half spitting up all of his beer. Nate internally recoiled at hearing this. In his eyes it wasn't fair really, once again someone else was in Laurence's bed, someone else gets to touch him, see him undress, hear him moan, SOME GIRL gets to undress him and make him moan. But what could he do, his best friend would never accept the feelings he had for him, hell... His own parents wouldn’t accept it.
Laurence went through the majority of the night talking about his fresh hookup and Nate as usual would listen in external support and internal suffering. He swore it got easier to listen to as time passed.
Laurence chuckled “ You should really take it easy with your liver Nate, you’re already down 2 packs and the shots you did too. Tryna drown your life sorrows and woes or something, thought we came here to hang out, Let loose you know?”
“Is that not what we’re doing ?” He slurred as he took another long sip of his drink.
“Dude seriously, you’ve barely said two whole sentences
Nate picked up his beer, rolled his grey-blue eyes and stormed outside, his steps were no longer straight, and his thoughts were no longer clear. He needed some air, some solitude, some space and more importantly, distance from Laurence. The outside was empty, it’s funny the complete contrast from the interior of the bar. Inside was extremely warm and lively, loud but not too loud. Outside was a bit chilly from the night air, a little bit of a wake-up and cloaked in comforting darkness. Nate was no longer feeling joy or liveliness. In fact, he felt on the verge of tears. His face felt tight, his lips felt warm, and his vision was a bit blurry from unshed tears. He almost felt like his body forgot how to function, even his breathing began to grow more and more laboured. “Deep breaths Nate.” He stood coaching himself when he felt a pair of arms spin him around
One arm made its way to Nate’s waist, the other between his shoulder and neck.
“Come on man, what the actual fuck is..” Now face to face and mere inches away from each other, Laurence could clearly see the glistening of tears on Nate’s eyelashes, which quickly began down the contours of his face. The hand on Nate's neck inched up his face to brush away tear stains,
“Please don’t hold me like this” Nate pleaded as he began to sob “Don’t look at me like this, don’t touch me like this if you’re just gonna leave me. You can’t do this, I lo..”
“Nate, I wouldn't just leave you, come on tell me what’s going on so I can help. Whatever it is you..”
Warm lips that were coated with alcohol were suddenly pressed against his. Gentle but passionate, They pressed harder asking for more but Laurence was so shocked he couldn’t move. His grip loosened and slowly the source of his shock pulled away. He held his gaze for a few silent, charged seconds. Then Nate stepped back a couple of spaces.
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this and I shouldn't have done that. I’m so sorry.” Nate ran off and Laurence knew better than to chase him.
He had two revelations that night. His best friend was not straight as he assumed and was in love with him.
