What is your opinion?
The Way It Feels
"This is a great introduction to the characters. My favorite characters have to be Jake, Nick, and Emily. I don't like the way Lana blames Emily and makes her apologize for nothing. I hope you update soon, happy writing!"
I'm very intrigued
"Personally I'm always a fan of stories that show multiple characters view points, and I've never read one with nine different ones! So far I'm really intrigued, I'm wondering how this (so far) seemingly innocent story is going to evolve, I'm getting a feeling there's going to be some cool plot twists coming up given the already established love triangle. The only technical note I'd give is to take advantage of commas and semicolons, just because there are some sections with back-to-back short sentences. Long descriptive ones would work well mixed in. In terms of style, we're often told exactly how the characters think and feel, but the story can benefit by some of it being shown and not told. A character can feel his or her palms get sweaty from seeing their crush, in that way letting the audience form the connection instead of their just telling us outright. Overall this is one of the better stories I've read on here so far and I really look forward to seeing what happens next!"
