Small Town Girl

College

All the apprehensions I had on joining the college hostel vanished when I met my roommate.

“My God, you are beautiful!” she exclaimed.

“I’m Juhi,” I said, unable to respond to the compliment.

From her manner and her clothes, I could make out that Angel was a rich girl. Her hair – shiny and nicely trimmed, fell carelessly on her face and shoulders. Her eyebrows were impeccably shaped, a liner highlighted her large eyes, and she wore a light pink lip colour. She was tall, and had an athletic body. She wore expensive jeans and a sleeveless top, showing her butter-smooth arms and shoulders. Above all, she had a bright face that would light a room. She was a delicate and sophisticated girl. Nothing about her was out of place.

Look at me now. My nails had traces of nail colour that I had applied many days back. My dress, conventional, colourless, out of place. My face was pale, and I didn’t know whether I could hide my feelings – of being mortally scared.

“We are going to be roommates, so get comfortable. Call me Angel.”

“Angel, you are the one who is beautiful, not me. Look at your hands, such delicate fingers and so well-rounded nails. Your skin is flawless. You are a dream girl.”

“Oh, come on,” said Angel, pinching my cheeks. “You have such childlike cheeks! Don’t tell me boys didn’t fall for you in school. You have the classic beauty look about yourself – childlike, pure, untouched. Your eyes are so deep and expressive. And you have a natural pout. You can easily be a model. Just a little make-up and you will kill by your looks!”

“You are the model, Angel,” I said. It was the truth.

I thought about the compliment I had received – for the first time from a stranger. I suppose God had given me my beauty to compensate for my otherwise colourless life.

How could I tell Angel about my real life? I had never dared to apply makeup because my father didn’t like it. In fact, he didn’t like anything about me. He had wanted a son, but out had come a daughter. He did not hide his disappointment even after my brother was born some years later. I was the one who received all the beatings and scoldings. My life was restricted, to say the least. Mama was my best friend, and she comforted me and cared for me, but she was helpless against my father. As my brother grew up, he also acquired the same attitude as my father.

So I lived my life being invisible. I did my work and stayed silent. I learnt to kill my desires at an early age. While my brother was pampered at home, I had to make do with whatever I got. Mama was always a gem, and made sure I could also live a normal childhood as best as she could do. While my friends from got new dresses and new things, I got used to being a subdued daughter.

But I couldn’t help noticing the changes in my body. My hands had become fairer, and I spent time in filing my nails, making them perfectly round. My fingers were long and delicate. My breasts had grown from the small lumps into well rounded fruit. When I looked in the mirror, I saw that my face, with expressive black eyes, was pleasing to look at. My hair was long and I kept it tied.

When I finished school, mama got me admission to this college, away from home. She had managed to save some amount from the money that my father gave her for running the house, and invested it in paying the fees for my college.

“Go away from here, enjoy yourself. When you come back, you will get married and lead a life like my own. So go and study and have fun for a few years at least.”

“But you have paid for only one semester, mama. I know papa doesn’t pay that much and you have given all your savings. What are we going to do for the balance semesters?”

“We will see,” Mama said. “It will work out.”

That’s how I had arrived in the city with mama, who had dropped me at the college hostel. She had given me a cheap mobile phone so that she could talk to me, and also given me a small amount as pocket money.

When I looked at the girls at the hostel, my heart sank. They all seemed confident and spoke well. They wore modern clothes. Here I was, first time out of my home, unsure of myself, lugging my bag to reach my room.

The room was simple, with two beds and two study tables. It had a very pleasing fragrance, which seemed to be a part of my roommate, Angel. She was a classy girl, unlike me, but had made me comfortable with her pleasing manner. She had style that comes from being rich. She had a beautiful, athletic body. We got talking right from the first day and she told me about the college, the classes, the girls and everything else.

“Classes are a waste of time,” she told me. “You can always pass exams by studying a few days before the exams. Have fun while you are here.”

“You know, I was thinking of getting a part-time job, if I can.”

“Why, are you poor?” Angel asked me.

“No, we are not poor,” I said. “In fact, we are quite rich. Father owns a business in our town. The thing is that my mama is paying for this college. I don’t want to be a burden on her.”

“Problems with papa?”

“The usual,” I said, unsure of how much I should reveal. “He doesn’t like me. I mean, he wanted a son, but he got me. He was so disappointed that he took out all the frustration on me. I have been told that I should have died at childbirth.”

“Oh dear,” Angel responded. “These stupid men. Your dad has missed out on so much love and joy that you can give. Anyhow, we will see. Some girls do part-time jobs. We will ask them.”

“Angel, don’t tell anyone about what I told you.”

“Oh, come on!” she said.

My bond with Angel grew. We talked and talked. We joined our beds so that we could be close and chat through the night. Sometimes Angel would put an arm around me, and I felt reassured by the warmth of her body. It was like being with mama. It was so reassuring to have a friend in this new place.