Eleanor & adrian

My name is Eleanor am 20 years old today......my life is like stuck in this sadness time period...all I do in a day is wake up, eat, cry and sleep that's all I did in a day...and I was not worried about it at all cause who cares about what I was doing in my life...

I left my family to live a independent life...the man I thought loved me was in love with someone else the whole time...now that I think about it there was never love in his heart for me....he treated other girls way better than he treated me...but still I was the that dumb girl....who loved him more thang and could anything to have him in my life...

but not anymore I don't want him in my life...I came to a conclusion that even if he's there not my life would eventually go worse than ever.......

so my ex name was Ryan and my best friend name was ava ....well I met my ex boyfriend when we were 14 and 15.....we met in out high school my best friend introduced him to me as she thought that we could be good girl...and she was great for sometime.....we started talking day to night unstoppable......soon enough we fell in love with each other........everything was going well until he started to show his red flags....and I accepted every single red flag of his....no matter what they were I didn't complain anything so that I could have him but soon enough it was traumatizing my life.....

after few months of dating each other he started to ignore my feelings and did what he liked and never care about me like he did in the starting...he started to unnotice everything I did for him......one day I got a call from my ava she told that she heard the new that my bf Ryan was flirting with so many girls a day at first I told her that he could never do that...but I started to notice so many things now.....

It was birthday today I was so excited to spend my special day with him and ava.....so ava came my house with her mom and gifted me black emo girls vibes type t-shirt..it's was very beautiful....I thanked her for the gift..

we don't usually hug or have any normal physical contact with eachother like usually others have with each other...

we were kinda different from other duo's of besties and we were proud of that....

I belonged to a very strict family so I wasn't allowed to date or anything until they allow me to...so it was a secret plan between me and ava that we will be going out with our boyfriend's not alone.....and it was my first time of having boyfriend so I was super excited and scared at the same time....but I told myself that this might be my best birthday ever...

Ava was my only best friend.....so it was obvious that she was going to be my birthday...

so ava came to my house than we had lunch together....while having lunch we were also discussing where should we go to celebrate my birthday but every place was so expensive and what do u expect 15 years girls to have that much money to celebrate their birthday in a very fancy restaurant.....we quickly had our lunch than I went to my room which was in upstairs...ava was following me the whole time while I was going to my room

than I went to get ready ....I took my only hand bag that I had with me for 15 years which I adore a lot....it was Grey in color and had a long chain across it handle which was made of plastic and it was colorful so it went perfectly with every outfit so I guess that's the reason that was my favorite but anyways I took that bag I kept my headphones, a small brush to set my hair cause I was leaving it open it look good, a chapstick , a small mirror, my eyeliner and lastly my phone.....

while I was keeping everything I needed in my bag ava was searching for restaurants, mall to visit right now....

I did my makeup which only includes putting some eyeliner and lipstick cause I didn't like to put so much makeup....than I took out my birthday outfit which was a purple crop top with black trouser.....this was my first wearing a crop top outfit and I was pretty confident wearing that....after that I went and stole my brother shoes cause it went perfectly with my outfit...

we booked a cab to reach the bus stand.....the moment we reached there I quickly called Ryan asking him where they were....me and ava started to get annoyed because the sun was too bright and it was very hot outside and we were waiting for them for so long....finally Ryan and ava's boyfriend arrived together....

I was pretty angry at Ryan for coming late but the moment I saw him I forgot everything.....all I could see was him wearing a hoodie because I love hoodies......I expected him to wish me happy birthday, complementary from him about my outfit etc....but that never happened I guess he didn't paid that attention on me...

we wet to the subway I was standing in front of him.....looking like a small kid in front of him because we had kinda a huge height difference that's when I noticed that my shoelace was open....so I pointed that to him....than he began to hold my and take me with him......he told me to sit down on the bench while he was tying my shoe lace......

and I think that's when I falled in love with him all over again.....

but while my eyes were only looking at his....his eyes were just seeing everyone else except me...he told me to never wear anything which shows my skin.....I tried to explain him that I wanted to wear these types of clothes cause I liked it....not because I wanted to show my skin....