What is your opinion?
Has amazing potential!
"I love ISEKAI stories. This one has the same formula as the others but with a little twist to it. I have already read ISEKAI stories about being transported into books so it's not really a surprise, BUT I was shocked when it asked what genre they want to be, I raised an eyebrow out of surprise. Cool. Also, this story has amazing potential and I'd say you should continue to work on this one. But also, you really need to work on your writing style and your characters. Trust me, it'd do a lot. I understand that you are a beginner and this is the alpha version, and I think its pretty good for a beginner work. Cool work, keep writing!"
Nice Lit Rpg
"Not gonna lie this is a nice Litrpg. From the start it is a wild ride from start to finish. It kicks off with a super intense car crash scene that pulls you right in, making you feel every bit of the chaos and pain. The first-person POV is on point, really letting you vibe with the protagonist's confusion and fear as they realize they're, well, dead. The whole transition from the real world to this trippy afterlife where a god shows up in a toga-suit combo is both surreal and oddly captivating. The writing is descriptive without being too extra, and the way the protagonist processes everything—especially the game-like mechanics of their new reality—feels relatable, even if it’s a bit info-heavy at times. The choice of Houses and skills in this new world screams RPG, and it’s cool how the story sets up the protagonist for what’s clearly going to be an epic, and probably chaotic, journey. While the shift to the game interface is a little abrupt, it adds an interesting twist to the narrative. Overall, this prologue hooks you with its mix of intense emotions and fantasy elements, making you curious about what comes next in this strange new life."
Amazing
"When i first started reading this. I had no words. it was phenomenal. I truly hope you continue writing this book"
Imaginative ..
"This is a rather imaginative tale! The author has added several elements such as Game/stats, death, an afterlife, a murder mystery, a new world, and a dystopian/utopian society. That being said, all of those elements sometimes left the reader with many questions. I appreciate the imaginative approach, but I did think the story may become better if focused on one element such as the dystopian/utopian society as that is where the story is at now. The story initially draws the reader in with the descriptive car accident and the MC subsequently meeting the god. Which is well done! My suggestions to the author would be to let the MC embrace the new world. Instead of laying or "dumping" out a large sum of contextual info, build your context. Many times, this is accomplished by the reader learning new information as the main character does (especially in 1st Person POV). Even if you wish to maintain the character's ability to have "World Knowledge skill" I recommend coming up with some way to share the world from that character's perspective. Another Point I have is to connect the ideas. By time the MC got to this new kingdom much of what we had learned in the previous chapters were scarcely mentioned. It became hard to distinguish the connection between the MC and the "blessing from the god". Since she didn't really react to her new world from the perspective of "Where am I? What am I doing? Who are you?" type of thing, it was hard to see the reasoning as to why she was even in this world in the first place. I do want to be understanding of the style, it reminds me of Dungeon Style Anime. Where the character is in a new world or game accomplishing new tasks/defeating new bosses as a means to increase their score or stats. So, it did hit that mark! I encourage the author to keep writing! :)"
Good Bones, but needs work (based on reading 6 chapters)
"I struggled to write a review and read it twice to grasp why I wasn't invested as murder mysteries are my jam. The first reason could be that the protagonist dies in a horrific car crash and wakes up in the afterlife. But there isn't much of an emotional reaction to such a momentous event, of dying or being 'alive' in the afterlife (which is a school?). There isn't a distinctive reaction (or time spent) contemplating their family's fate or even their own. It's almost glossed over. It's like, 'oh, I died. meh. Oh, the afterlife is a game. Cool, let’s play'. The concept (though not unique) is good but the blase attitude of the narrative seeps into the storytelling too. Eg. by choosing a house the MC inherits a clear-cut personality, set of traits, and skills. It's all 'too easy' and the MC seems to be going through the motions. Hence I concluded what's missing might be an emotional anchor for the MC. In the first person POV, the readers feel through the character. If they don't feel much, how will the readers? On the positive side, the pacing is good, but I did not get a read of the MC, and everything in the afterlife is 'too much' and happens 'too fast'. The world-building combines all old and new, modern and archaic worlds and aspects. It's a bit haphazard. In small doses, it would have been fun to discover the world with the MC, and in dollops, it's distracting. As a detective, they are to solve a murder, (why they're chosen? Coz of their house, which is a bit like plot armor) but little time is spent on that aspect of the story. There are a few side quests where they meet an array of characters, most of which are forgettable. I wished for a slower pacing, it lingered on the character's emotions, and they adjusted slowly, as a reader I discovered the world with them, bit by bit. Was it fun? In parts, yes. Does it have potential, YES! It could stand out and become something unique—if the character was more relatable. (They're more of a 'go with the flow, so chill they seem indifferent.) For a first draft, it's got good bones but needs to be fleshed out. Ironically I am not a fan of first-person POVs, but Luna's straightforward writing style made it easy for me to read it. To conclude, the story had an RPG vibe, and it doesn't take itself too seriously. A balance of introspection, emotional reactions, dialogues, actions, and the main quest--the murder mystery--would make it exceptional. I wish I liked it more. I really do. Maybe I am not the right audience for it. "
Improvement
""1st Game - Tutorial in a Detective Universe" has come a long way since I first read it two years ago. The story’s concept is still very strong, with intriguing detective threads, layered worldbuilding, and a setting that blends Victorian-era vibes with a Game-of-Thrones-meets-Persona feel. The author has clearly polished their craft: the writing is smoother, the descriptions are more vivid, and the storytelling shows greater confidence. That said, I did find the first chapter a little challenging to get through. Some scenes, particularly the initial crash, could benefit from more clarity and emotional grounding. At times, it was difficult to visualize the action or connect with the characters’ experiences, which made the opening feel less urgent than it could be. The main character continues to feel thoughtful and accepting of her unusual situation, which works for the story, but a little more outward reaction in high-stakes moments might strengthen the reader's connection. Overall, the story has improved massively from its earlier version. The worldbuilding, plot setup, and detective intrigue are very promising. With some polish in the opening scenes and a bit more clarity on intense moments, this story could be truly compelling for fans of isekai detective novels."
