1. Serah
Have you ever felt like love isn't for you?
You see people around you happy with their significant other clinging, dating, giving each other that look, genuinely in love and you're the only loner among them
Every time you're in a relationship with someone, all that happens is it ends in a negative way or they just leave you for somebody else
For someone better than you
And you get to wonder why you even tried being with them in the first place when all they did was treat you unjustly
Hey, my name is Happy-Serah Collins
My mom gave me the name Serah, she wouldn't back down from it being a second name
Neither did my Dad with the name he had planned nine months before I was born, he gave me the name Happy because he felt happy the first he saw me
As obviously as it seems, yes, the names were combined
I go by Serah though, because my other name doesn't really portray my life, not at all it
Sure I've been happy in some parts of my life, like when I was a kid, when I made it in college, when I got my current job that pays so well
Those are the only memories I remember feeling authentically happy
There's a part of me which is truly sad and alone, well seventy percent of me to be honest
My love life isn't what I'd describe pleasing or merry
Enough about that, I shut my holder of secrets
Since today is the favorite day, Saturday. I decided to lay in bed for the longest in my silky shorts and a T-shirt writing what I just said earlier
I live alone and I'm proud of that
This place is my comfort zone, where the real me is shown on full display without an audience or anyone to bully or judge me
I don't have friends, I just have acquaintances, that's what I call them now
Friends are backstabbers, or maybe it's just me thinking too much, or maybe I just met the wrong people at the wrong time
Whichever way being close to someone makes you vulnerable to things you could've avoided
So my conclusion remains the same, friends are the backstabbers
I'll always remember🎶
The day you kiss my lips🎶
Light as a feather🎶
My phone rings beside me and I picked it up nonchalantly
I sat up straight immediately I read the phone screen, my boss calling
"Hello Sir" I said tuning my voice to professional
"How're you" he asks
I shuffled and sat leaning on the bed's headboard
"I'm fine sir, how're you"
"I'm okay... well I called to remind you to be very early... unlike other meetings you'll accompany me to the board meeting this time around" the old man said
My lips parted in shock, my eyes roamed around the room as I registered what Mr Berg just said
"Alright I'll be early" I mustered to say quietly still in shock
"Good" he said before cutting the call
That was odd and extremely usual, I never accompanied him to such important meetings let alone the one where all the heads of departments and the CEO himself was involved
A heavy breath escaped my lips as I stared at my phone
I am an assistant to the senior procurement manager, I love my job and the company I work at
D&G
A company which makes fashion trend one hundred percent, a sack cloth would trend if they decided to add it to their work, a company where designer career is the real deal
With my workaholic behavior, I've gained so many experiences and knowledge of things I could never imagine
My passion is designing things to be specific I'm into interior designing and also fashion design and I'm just glad I made it in D&G
Even though I work in a different department, I have my fingers crossed on getting into the creative and design department so I could share my passion to the world
Everything in my life is perfect, or so it seems to be to others
Like I said I'm not truly happy for someone who has achieved a lot in life
Why?
I feel lonely
My first boyfriend Stanley left me for my ex best friend, I was hurt and heartbroken like crazy
What kind of best friend does that, was she really my friend to begin with. Not only was I heartbroken but I felt betrayed
I chose not to have a best friend after that, I still had a few friends around me though. I guess I didn't really get the message that friends are kinda... trash
I was 13 that time
Yeah I was very young
When I was 15, my second boyfriend Rick cheated on me with a very beautiful girl. I guess I was too ugly for him to stay
He knew I had insecurities about how I looked, but what he did was awful. He found someone better than me and I'd lie of I said it didn't affect me
My insecurities grew
But the worst part of the story was that my friends knew Rick was cheating and chose to keep their mouth sealed
In their defense, they couldn't tell me because they were friends with the girl and they couldn't betray her by telling me
So much for loyalty
It hurt, the people I considered my friends didn't have my back. They chose me for someone better
To think they were my friends hurt me beyond measure, it hurt me more than Rick did
I stopped making friends after that, I couldn't trust any living being with the title friend. They'd just betray me in the end
My third ex Kenneth told me he cheated in my face and that he didn't want 17 year old me anymore
What had I done to him? I have no idea
He gave no reason of why he cheated, why he left me for yet another girl. It kind of sucked, I really did like the guy
That night I stalked Ken's IG page and I found out why he left
She was pretty, beautiful to be honest
His recent post was of him and the girl showing their teeth looking very much innocent. Like they hadn't broken a little ugly girl's heart into pieces
But I wasn't done yet, I don't know why I kept on involving myself in people's lives when I had three signs that clearly screamed YOU'RE UGLY, LOVE ISN'T FOR YOU!!!
At 18 my fourth Frank dated me for sex, he used me until he got fed up and dumped me, as if that wasn't enough he had rubbed the reality in my face and said the harsh words I desperately tried to erase in my mind
He called me worthless, ugly, boring, annoying, a slut, a dirty girl. Those was coming from him shattered me
It hurt bad
How could someone you gave everything no questions asked say such despicable words
Sad right?
I sat down that day and thought about all my past relationships, I analyzed them and found out why all of them weren't successful
All of my ex's left me for better and beautiful girls, but one of them explained the real reason why they left
Frank
At least he was honest, I was boring, worthless, annoying and ugly
That made sense, why else would they have left me if I wasn't ugly
So I decided to focus on my school and my life leaving all the friendship and relationship drama to the rest of the world
I had enough of it and had no room for more
I graduated school when I was 19 and found a job at D&G with help of my parents
With my hard work I became what I am today
My parents are proud of me and I'm happy with that, they're my role model in every area. Making them proud satisfies me and I tend to keep it that way
Another thing I decided was not to like the male species in that lovey-dovey way again, if I do then I should stay away or shut whatever feeling I have off asap
Or just ignore it, whichever way works
Dating days were over for me the day that I had been told the truth, I understood and accepted it
No one would ever be with an ugly girl
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