What is your opinion?
Kudos for writing such a masterpiece
"Kudos for writing such a masterpiece. I would like to feature your Inkitt book for free to my list of newsletter subscribers. If that is alright by you then please email me at exzordersplrwso AT gmail.com to book your spot, thanks. Only 40 spots are left."
Ellsmire
"I'm not sure what to think of this story. Some of it seemed to drag with sentences that were unessential to the story line. Example: The storm roared around the house. The wind shook the windows and rattling the shutters, just as a torrent of rain slammed in to the house, lightening filled the sky. Or, Lightening lit the skies as the storm slammed into the house, shaking the windows and rattling the shutters! (this example is from my book: Rayah's hope) my advice is to edit, edit, edit! The more you cut, and rewrite the better the book. Over all I give you kudos for carrying off at least three if not four time periods, not an easy feat to accomplish! You had an excellent plot. I also liked your story line, all except the ending. How selfish is Ava? Is she just walking away to save her own skin, or will she be back to save her family? Who knows, but one can hope, can't they! NRF"
Recommended
"This was a fun read that kept me up late into the night. Once I realized the author would be switching between present and past, I worried I wouldn't be able to keep track of the story, but that wasn't a problem- it was well done and easy to follow. Here's what I liked: Interesting characters (with realistic flaws), creative and original world, unique story with just enough suspense and an obvious budding romance. Here's what I didn't like: cliffhanger ending (obviously the author is planning a second book, which is good, but I wanted just a little more resolution), I wanted more insight into the mind of Ava- sometimes we get a lot of it, and other times not (when heading to the trial her feelings- which must be nervousness, if not great fear- are not discussed- I wanted to know how she was feeling at certain times in the book when author didn't tell). You know when you read a book and don't think about the writing (like when you watch a movie and don't think about the acting) because it's so smooth it's just playing out realistically in your mind? The author is able to do this- she's a talented writer. In summary, good book and I'm hoping there's a second coming."
Enjoyable
"Original plot and very well written. Characters are realistically described, and the story flows with an excellent readability. There is something I'd edit (I'd never begin a sentence with "to"), but I guess it is all that I can say about grammar, punctuation and writing style. Paragraphs too are well divided. Good reading."
Intriguing!
"I loved this story. The way that the author wrote this, the reader can tell that the author devoted a lot of time into the complex world of Ellsmire. The pace could have been a little quicker, but overall, I enjoyed learning more and more about the characters as the story went along. I think with some editing, just a little, this story could end up on a bookshelf somewhere. As I don't want this review to be super long, I'll leave information in the comments for the author. In short though, I'd recommend this for lovers of fantasy. **NOTES FOR THE AUTHOR IN THE COMMENTS BELOW."
ellsmire
"I could only read through the first few chapters. The book opens wonderfully. It had me intrigued. I liked the details in the book. However, I felt there is need to infuse pace in these chapters. It is tough to create a whole new universe, something true of most fantasy books and I would like to congratulate on that. However, I would point some simple rules of writing here. First, to use '-ly' as scarcely as possible, and only when one absolutely needs it. And to let some things be interpreted by the reader, i.e. an implicit description via a vis an explicit description. Otherwise, I had quite fun reading your book. It would be a good idea to edit it once more, prune it pace and glibness."
