Xzavier

Kelsey

There were more things than I cared to count, that were inevitable in my line of business. More than not, I could handle it. There were few things that I absolutely refused to participate in. Starving myself, nude photography, drugs—the hard stuff of the modeling industry.

For my own mental stability—and physical—I remained attached to a healthy diet of calories a day. I worked out vigorously. Sure, my tummy was more toned than I cared for, and my biceps were larger than what I should’ve had for my petite frame. But I needed it.

Maybe if I looked a little less desirable, he would leave me alone. I would be able to breathe. It seemed that no matter where I went, no matter how many times I changed my name, my identity… He was always there. My own personal stalker.

He would remain in the shadows. Lurking around every corner. Stalking my every move.

His image always startles me from my sleep. A dark hoodie that faded into forever devouring shadows of the night. While it was always pulled up—encompassing a porcelain mask—lately it’s been down. It doesn’t seem to matter, because the hair on his head is just as black and endless as the shadows.

His porcelain mask always haunted me. It was so blank. Nothing more than eye socks, a nose formation, and the smallest line for a mouth. God, how his eyes seemed so empty and void of emotion, despite their vibrant and lovely hazel color.

I lost sleep over that mask and those eyes. Over the hulking figure that would menace over me in the beginning of my career.

He had broken into my homes a few times over the years. Part of me could feel him watching me, as if he were inside of my walls. He’d gotten more careful after I made a police report when I caught him watching me sleep.

He always came during the shade of night. Always followed me home from shoots or parties. He always kept his head down as a way to make sure I didn’t know it was him. He could not blend unless he was walking in the shadows.

There was one gruesome occasion, I was almost assaulted just a block away from home. I spent almost two whole days in the police precinct, giving a detailed report of the vile things that predator had done to me. By the time I had gotten home, I was exhausted.

There was a hot bath drawn for me, and a box on the counter of my bathroom. On the box was a note that read: “An eye for an eye, little one.” I don’t know what possessed me to open the box, but I did.

I somehow missed the puddle of blood on my floor. I missed the coppery scent in the air. Oh, but it hit me all at once when I saw it. It was my rapist’s penis, and testicles. They were wrapped in a scarf I thought I’d lost for years.

Of course it was this stalker! Who else could it be? He must’ve watched the whole thing happen. He must’ve seen every torturous moment. I still wondered why he never did anything to help me. Why hadn’t he stepped in and saved me before it was too late?

“Kelsey? Baby girl, are you with me?” Rhonin said, snapping his fingers. He sat across from me, his piercing green eyes seemed fixated on mine. There was a look of concern on his slim face.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.” I pushed my hair out of my face, shaking my head. “I zoned out.”

“I’ll say. You look like shit.” Gracie chimed in. She was a woman, built like an Amazonian goddess. Tall, curvy with lean muscle. She had vibrant, electric blue hair that fell in wild waves down her back.

“Do you have to be such a bitch, Gracie?” Rhonin snapped. His eyes narrowed to two thin slits. He frowned at her and folded his arms across his chest.

“Is that even a question?” I snarky replied. I smirked at them both.

“Oh, burn!” Rhonin chuckled.

He had always had a sort of carelessness about him. Rhonin never had a care in the world, or at least he led us to believe so. His laughter was always so refreshing, something that— momentarily— made me forget every ounce of stress. But when the laughter stopped, it came back.

Anxiety had been a long time friend. A pest. A tiny little mosquito that would latch itself onto me at the worst possible time.

“Kel, did you sleep?” Gracie reached out with both hands and entwined her fingers with mine. She looked at with with such pity.

My shoulders shrouded my face. “Maybe two hours. He was there again.” I nibbled on my lip. “I could feel him staring at me.”

They both exchanged a look with one another. I hated when they did that.

She cleared her throat. “Maybe you need to see a psychologist. I have a friend that has an amazing one. The meds are fantastic too!” Gracie cupped my cheek and she smiled softly. “It might do you some good.”

I rolled my eyes. “Are you kidding me?” I pulled away and snatched my hands from her grip. “Fuck off.” I folded my arms across my chest, sitting back in my chair.

“We just want what’s best for you. We love you Kel, but your hallucinations are getting out of control.” Rhonin took a sip from his drink.

“He’s been stalking me since high school. He’s not a hallucination! He’s a fucking psycho that has followed me across the country and back!” I could feel my blood boiling and tears welding in my eyes.

These two were my friends or at least that’s what I thought. I held Gracie’s hand when she had her first child! I helped Rhonin when he had nowhere to go, and no one to love him. They were the people I cared for, and that I thought cared for me.

We never argued. We shared so much laughter, joy and inside jokes. We cried together from sorrow, pain and bittersweet memories. For fuck’s sake Gracie’s little girl called me her aunt, and I was the reason Rhonin had a damn relationship.

“No one else has seen him though. That’s concerning.” Rhonin sighed at me. He scrubbed his hand down his face. “He isn’t real Kelsey.” His composure changed.

I went to grab my purse, when I caught a glimpse of the porcelain mask outside of a window. My breath got caught in my throat. I quickly pushed to my feet. “I’m going home.”

“Kel, wait,” Gracie said, grabbing my wrist.

“Let go.” I scowled at her. “If you know what’s best for you, you’ll let go of me.” I didn’t normally result to aggression. That wasn’t who I was. It isn’t who I am.

Rhonin groaned. “Look, we are worried about your mental health. It’s affecting your work.” He wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t photographing the way I used to. Hell, I couldn’t even do a catwalk if I even tried.

“Maybe you should take some time to yourself. You never know, it might help to destress.” Gracie’s tone was soft, gentle even—but it was still backhanded.

“Are you saying that because I’m doing a commercial tomorrow and you’re my under study?” Granted, it was a low blow, but I didn’t think that I was wrong.

“You know damn well I should have been casted, not you.” Gracie scowled.

“Damn Kelsey. Why don’t you just take a knife and plunge it in her heart,”Rhonin barked.

“What? It’s fair game. You two think that my stalker is a hallucination. I might as well play on the hallucination Gracie has about my commercial being hers.” I narrowed my eyes on her. “I’m going to the bathroom.” I shifted through my purse pulling some money from a pouch inside. “Don’t expect me back.” I slammed the cash on the table.