Chapter 1
Ben Woodley’s email notification popped up. Sender: Selene Murphy.
He smiled and clicked it. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to read her words. He wanted to hear her voice. He wanted to see her. He wanted to touch her.
He sighed. He’d be with her again in three days. The last time he saw her was four years ago. Would it be awkward to see her?
He didn’t care if it was awkward, he couldn’t wait to breathe the same air as her again. Maybe hug her. That was as far as it went with her. A couple of hugs over Christmas break only, then so long and back to work until he visited again. Or she visited him. That would be nice. He had an extra room. She could tour his office. See where he spent all this time. Too much time.
His head snapped up. He hit the button for his secretary. “Yes, Ben?” she asked.
“Never mind. I had an idea.”
“Okay. Do you want me to make a note?”
He laughed. He did this once a week. It was embarrassing the first few times. Now it was their version of normal. “Not yet. I need my brother’s home number.”
“You aren’t canceling your trip home are you?”
“No. I’m not. Everyone has been saying I need a personal assistant. I know the perfect person.”
“Okay.” Her confusion echoed through the speaker. “Don’t you have his number in your cell phone?”
“Oh right. Yes.” His mind focused on his goal, not the bigger picture. “Thank-you.”
“Who is this perfect person?”
“Selene.”
“And who is Selene?”
Who was Selene? She was everything pure and good in the world. She was love and light. She was his best friend, his only friend. She was the one woman he couldn’t have.
He scratched the back of his head. “My niece. I guess. Her mom married my brother, I lived with them before I started Light Up. She graduated as a business major in the spring. She’s perfect.”
“Are you certain she’ll be interested?”
“I’ll convince her.” She knew enough about his company from talking to him the last two years. She constantly asked him questions. And he had used it as an example enough she used it in her papers and assignments. But was that just Selene being Selene? Did she care?
“I’ll take your word for it.”
Then there was one issue unresolved between them. He couldn’t even think about it, and it was one his mind constantly. He screwed up majorly with her four years ago. Then he stopped calling her. He didn’t know what to say. Sorry seemed dishonest. He wasn’t sorry, but he acted inappropriately. But the only reason he was sorry was because he couldn’t have her, he couldn’t touch her.
He hadn’t seen her in four years, but he had been emailing with her for the last two. He helped her with school, and slowly they connected again through those emails. And then texting. And phone and video calls.
He tried to keep her at a distance. He tried to limit it to email, but when she sent a picture of her pouting, he gave his cell phone number. He tried ignoring her late night calls, at least late for him, she was half a country and two time zones away. And the distance was probably a good thing. Otherwise he could have seen her. He had almost booked a plane ticket a dozen times a month in the last six months.
Whatever she objected to, whatever she wanted, he’d give her to make this happen. He needed her to work for him. As his assistant she would be privy to the most intimate details of his business. He couldn’t trust that to anyone but her.
He unlocked his cellphone, but the time blinked at him and he realized she would be at work. He’d have to wait until later. Maybe he should just wait until he was there in person. He’d never convince her over the phone. Face to face would be best, where he could read her face, her reactions.
He flew out in three days. He had to prepare himself for any and every question she would have. Salary, her responsibilities to him, what in her background that made her perfect. He searched for her name. Yes, she was there. Her resume. Her awards. Everything.
And her beautiful face. His stomach clenched. She’d grown up in the last four years. He could see the child’s face within from the first day he walked into Kim’s house. He was fifteen and traumatized. She was five and innocent. And she offered him cookies she baked with her mom and begged him to play tea party.
He wanted to say no, but he couldn’t handle the warble in her chin, so he played tea party. And they became best friends until he moved out after he graduated from college. He worked in the city for a few years until he saved enough to start his business. Then he moved across the country to where he could oversee the manufacturing process.
Kim called this fall and told him he was coming home this Christmas. He owed everything he was to Kim and his brother Dan. They saved him. They supported him. They made him into who he was. He couldn’t say no to her. So he had Lynn book his ticket and he was taking five entire days off to visit his hometown, his brother, his sister-in-law, and Selene.
He moved his cursor over the button to close the window. He minimized it instead. Lynn knocked on the door before sticking her head into his office. “Quitting time, Ben. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He lifted his head and gave her a fake smile. “Good night Lynn. See you in the morning.”
She shook her head. She didn’t like his late hours, or lack of a social life. She gave up on trying to change him a year ago. Ben flipped back to the sketch on his computer he was working on. He needed to send the changes so the prototype could be made. He wanted the new model of the toy into production ASAP so he could focus on the computer game series he was developing in partnership with another company.
An hour later his hand cramped and he flipped to the tab of Selene. He stacked his hands behind his head and smiled at her picture. She was exactly who he needed.
On the way home he stopped and grabbed a sandwich. He turned on his laptop and in his browser window was Selene again. His stomach churned and he shoved the sandwich in the fridge.
It was too early to go to bed, but work no longer interested him. He tapped at his phone screen until he got to his text conversation with her. He tried to think of something witty to open with. She’d be arriving home where she would eat supper with her family. Mom, step-dad, and their son Kent.
Would she have the same habit of twirling her brown hair around her index finger while she talked? Would her eyes still sparkle when she giggled?
His phone rang and he wondered who would call him this late. Selene Kitten. Her name popped up on his screen. Warmth filled him as he answered. “Hello.”
“Ben.” Her voice was like a song. “Are you home?”
“I’m home. What are you doing?”
“It was my night to cook supper, so I’m free from doing dishes. I checked my social media. My email is full of stuff I am ignoring. I was watching hockey because Kent got the remote before me. And that got old fast.”
“So I’m your last resort for entertainment.” He smiled at the phone. Where was she? What was she wearing? How had her day been?
“You were my first choice, but I’m usually interrupting you.”
“You are never interrupting me. Are you bored now that you don’t have hours of homework?”
“I think so. How was your day?”
“Productive. What about you?” He moved to the sofa and laid on his back, staring at the ceiling.
“Productive. But kind of boring. I like my job, and I know I’m still new, but it’s easy work.”
“You just started. They won’t hand you the hardest stuff.”
“I know. It’s boring. I need more challenge.”
“Well, in a few days I’ll be there to entertain you.”
“Can it be tomorrow?”
“No. It’ll be soon enough.”
“It’s three years too late.”
He sighed as guilt filled him. “Better late than never right?”
“Yes. I can’t wait to see you.”
“You always were excitable. I need to talk to you when I get there.”
“What?”
“It can wait until I see you. It’s nothing exciting.” Only something that could change the rest of their lives.
“You are mean to me.”
He laughed. “I should have kept it to myself. What are you hoping Santa brings you for Christmas?”
“I dunno. My student loans paid off. What about you?”
She allowed the change of topic. That was easy. “You.”
She was silent. And his heart dropped. He said the wrong thing again, he made another mistake with her.
Her sigh came through. Her voice was thick. “I guess we are both getting what we want. I wanted you to come home for Christmas.”
“I’m sorry I stayed away. I’ll make it up to you okay?” He wished he could hold her now, wipe away her sadness. He didn’t deserve her love and admiration. It was his cross to bear, his debt for past sins.
“I will hold you to that. It’s late you’re probably ready for bed.”
Not that late but he didn’t know what else to say to her. He had no reason to keep her on the line. And he wanted to keep the job offer to himself until he could see her eyes.
“I guess it is that time.”
“You will work for another hour aren’t you?”
“I’ll check my email once more then go to bed. Will that suffice?” Once he was in bed, he could pretend she was there. He could imagine he could hold her all night and it would keep his demons away. She was a shield against everything bad in his world. How did he survive before her? He needed her in more ways than one. He tried to stop, but she pushed back into his life.
“I guess so. Three days?”
“Three more days,” he confirmed. Three more days and he would wrap his arms around, he would breathe her scent. He would see the laughter in her eyes. He would smile at the way her hands fluttered while she talked. He’d be safe for a while. He’d be loved. He’d be home again. He’d be with his Selene.
