Bonus Chapters

Cassie

I watch my two sleeping babies from the comfort of the rocking chair in the corner. Their tiny breaths puff steadily in the darkness, hypnotizing me. Their perfect little faces are highlighted by the little night-light plugged in and I have to fight the instinctive urge to cry at how beautiful the pair are.

I do this most nights. When it’s late, or I’ve been woken up in the middle of the night, I go to them and watch them sleep while I wait for Axel to come home from his duties. It’s all I can do to distract myself from my thoughts.

Things have changed a lot since the twins were born. Hunter has handed over his reigns to Ryder, while Trigger is taking back control over his territory. Axel is working hard to ensure the empire he is building is untouchable, including forging alliances he is less than happy about.

It has been a crazy year for The Five, including their counterparts and Axel has been taking most of the slack work-wise. I sense he feels like it’s his obligation to lead The Five. We don’t really talk about his work, but from what he does divulge, there are so many changes happening.

Along with those changes, though, there has been so much pain this year. Every one of The Five has experienced hurt in one way or another, and today is a reminder of that for me.

It leaves a heavy weight of unease to sit on my shoulders, waiting for Axel to come back to me. I’m not naïve. I know what goes on, even the stuff Axel never tells me about. So, I can’t help worrying whether Axel will come back hurt, or not at all.

A year ago, I almost lost him. A year ago, Axel was fighting for his life. When he was shot, it was one of the worst moments of our lives. Every single one of us was affected by that moment. We all handled it differently, and I’m thankful for having a support network that kept me going.

Without them, without Axel, I know I wouldn’t be where I am. Through everything, Axel has always been my rock. The man who showed me what love can really be, despite his appearance and demeanor. Despite everything he’s done and what he stands for, he’s always stood by me. Axel gives me everything and more. We had to fight through it to get where we are now, but I wouldn’t change what we have for the world.

Having twins has been a blessing, something The Five needed to remind them of what they’re all working towards. Alvaro and Alanis have been the connection I never knew could bring Axel and me any closer. Everyday, I grow more and more in love with the twins and the man who gave me everything. The life I never thought I needed, the love I always knew I deserved and a family I could only dream of having. Sure, I’ve considered having a family, but I never imagined it with Axel. It’s more than I could ever ask for, even though it’s hard work.

We’ve pretty much been running on empty with the twins for the last few months. When one wants feeding, the other needs their diaper changed. We make a great team, but I didn’t realize how tiring having twins would be. I’m just grateful that Axel is taking it all in his stride and is always on hand to help.

Alanis stirs in her cot, her cute button nose twitching as I reach down and stroke her cheek. “You’re going to break so many hearts,” I sigh.

“She won’t get the chance to.”

I spin around at the sound of his voice. The confident conviction of his words makes me smile, but the look in his exhausted eyes tells another story. I know better than to ask him what is wrong, or what happened, so I let him approach silently.

In a matter of a few steps, Axel has his arms around my waist. He slams his lips to mine without a thought, claiming my mouth in a hot kiss that makes my knees weak. His tongue twines with mine, coaxing a sweet moan from my lips that Axel swallows.

Tugging my head back, he licks a path up the column of my neck. When he reaches my ear, he nips my ear lobe and whispers, “Why are you awake?”

“The twins woke up,” I half lie. The truth is, I couldn’t sleep and even the slightest noise coming from their room had me racing in here. Being without Axel on Christmas Eve brought back too many emotions for me to handle alone. My only distraction was the twins.

Axel kisses my cheek, my temple and then my forehead before drawing his head away from me. He knows me too well to know I’ll admit what’s really bothering me. It’s one of his many talents. “My pretty little liar.”

“You’re home late.”

His dark gaze bores into mine, a smirk tugging his lips. He doesn’t answer, though. Instead, he nips my lips with his, traces the seam of my lips with his tongue.

I tremble beneath his touch as he palms my ass, lifting me by my thighs to wrap around his waist. There isn’t a moment I don’t enjoy the way Axel holds me. He has always kissed me with such ferocity, such passion and the way he takes care of me in more ways than I thought possible will always be my weakness. Just the simplest touch from him has me yearning for more and even after having twins, after all the eccentric hormones, I’m craving him.

“Axel!” I admonish quietly as I feel his fingers squeeze my ass cheeks. My excitement is my downfall when it comes to him.

“How am I meant to keep my hands off you?” he growls possessively in my ear, grinding his hardness against me. He sweeps a finger through my wet slit, groaning as my arousal coats his fingers.

My skin erupts with goosebumps, the delightful shiver of apprehension allows a moan to escape my lips as Axel nips my earlobe. I grip the back of his neck as he presses me against the wall. It takes all my control not to moan out again, but I’m conscious if Axel touches me anymore I might combust. Loudly.

And I really don’t want to wake the twins.

“You know how much I love seeing you wearing my clothes.” He moves his teeth down the side of my neck. Reaching the collar of his shirt that sits low on my shoulder, he playfully tugs it with his teeth.

“They don’t ever stay on, though,” I remind him under a hushed whisper.

“That’s the plan,” he smirks, reaching with one hand between us to undo his belt. He doesn’t do it with grace or finesse. Axel doesn’t hold back on his urgency, or the way he slickens his cock, sliding them through my lips.

“You’ll wake the twins,” I gasp, my eyes closing under the immense pleasure blinding me as he slaps my clit with the head of his dick.

Despite my protests, I can’t deny how much I want him right now. I need Axel like I need air to breathe. I need him to consume me in only the ways he knows how. Axel is the darkness to my light, the one who never asks for more than I can give. We fiercely fit together, two sides of the same coin, balancing one another out. He needs this as much as I do.

Something happened tonight that he needs to forget about, and if it’s me he needs to lose himself in, I can do that for him.

My chest moves against his, as he breaks through my entrance. “Ax—!”

“Shhhhh,” he soothes before silencing me with his lips. “You’ll wake the twins.”

With my legs wrapped around him, he thrusts into me, the back of my hips crashing against the wall. I grip onto his shirt, burying my head in the crook of his neck as he slides out of me, only to slam into me deeper.

The stretch of his cock fills me to the hilt, my arousal spreading around my thighs. He feels so good that it’s blinding, so delicious that I can taste his desire on his tongue as he kisses me deeply.

I lock my ankles behind him, linking my hands around his neck as he plows back into me. His sensual strokes spiral pleasure through my core, coiling tighter and tighter until I’m seeing stars from holding my breath.

Axel slams into me harder, pinning me against the wall. With his forehead pressed against the wall, he rotates his hips, grinding against my clit.

The pressure builds and builds, reaching a height I know will be my undoing. It always is. My knees squeeze around him, my walls clenching as that familiar desire swirls hotter and hotter.

Tugging Axel’s head back, I lock eyes with his dark ones. His unwavering gaze meets mine, a silent passing of words that only we share.

You’ll be the death of me.

I share the same sentiment only in a different way. If anything happens to Axel, I don’t think my heart could take the ache again. Losing him once almost destroyed me. I had Lexie and The Five, but it wasn’t enough.

Two weeks of not knowing if he would make it drew out the darkest, most unnerving thoughts I’ve ever felt. When both my parents died, I mourned. But Axel never died, he was there, even when he wasn’t. You can’t mourn someone who hasn’t died yet.

If Axel dies, he will be the death of me.

“Baby,” he rasps, clutching my cheek with one hand.

I nod, knowing he’s trying to pull me from my thoughts.

He rests his head on mine, still thrusting deep into me. A wordless sound of pleasure leaves his lips before he slams them onto mine. A euphoric sense of relief wraps around me, uncoiling, unfurling and smothering my limbs like a serpent. My body tenses, my walls clench and then I combust.

My cries are muted as I shudder, Axel covering my mouth with his hand. “Shhh baby.” He punches his hips again. He keeps driving, keeps fucking me until my eyes squeeze shut and tears roll from my eyes. My release drowns me, my muffled moans choke me and as I feel my climax subside, Axel’s hot release fills me.

His hips thrust lazily into me, his hot breath skating over my face. He throws his head back and exhales deeply into the air. “Fuck,” he says breathlessly, removing his hand and bringing his lips back to mine. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I whisper back, still clutching his shirt.

Slowly, he carries me to our bedroom, remaining buried deep inside of me.

“You know, we should be careful,” I say as he lays me down on the bed.

He tilts his head, eyebrows raised as he looks down at me. “Why’s that?”

Rolling my eyes, I tug his hair playfully. “Because, I’m super fertile.”

“Oh, baby,” he groans, rocking back and forth, still hard. He runs his nose against mine and at this moment, it feels like my chest could burst. “I’m not finished making a family with you.”

A smile blooms on my lips. I know the twins were unexpected, but those few words blow my mind. There is no hesitation, no hidden agenda or lie. This is Axel at his most honest, his most vulnerable.

“Axel?”

He pushes the hair away from my face, piercing my soul with those dark depths that hold so many secrets. “Yeah, baby?”

“Make me yours,” I giggle, wiggling my hips.

Disappointingly, Axel pulls out of me. Shedding his jacket and tie, pants and shoes, he then helps me out of the one item of clothing I’m wearing. “You will always be mine,” he mumbles against my lips as he nestles between my thighs once more.

By morning, I’m sore but sated. Axel made sure I came at least three more times before allowing me to sleep.

I lay awake with the steady beats of Axel’s heart beneath my cheek. The simple rhythm anchors me, grounding me to reality. This reality.

Closing my eyes, I relish in the moment. The way his chest rises and falls. The way his breath skates over my head. Even as he grips me tightly, arms wrapped around me; always holding me, never letting go.

Today, these moments hold more significance than I want to think about.

We might have our arguments, but we wouldn’t be us without them. We’re both stubborn, both passionate, and that only fuels the love we share. Even more so now we have Alanis and Alvaro.

It’s early in the morning, and without waking Axel up, I can tell it’s almost time for the twins’ morning feed. The tell-tale sign of my aching boobs forces me to roll over before the twins wake so I can pump them.

“Hmm…” Axel shifts with me, rolling over to run his nose through my hair and inhale deeply. He still has a firm grip around my waist, digging his hardness against my bare ass “What time is it?” he groans.

I lift my phone from the table beside the bed. “Six-forty-nine,” I sigh.

Axel grabs my hip, rolling me onto my back. “And where do you think you’re going?”

“I need to pump,” I answer, sliding my arms around his neck.

He’s still so protective, always possessive. The need to know my whereabouts used to drive me mad, but over the past year I’ve begun to understand why he’s like that.

So, I smile and lean up on my elbows, kissing his pursed lips.

Taking it as an invitation, he nestles between my thighs, leaning down to brush his lips across mine. He traces his tongue along the seam of my lips, wetting them into a shine. “But I like it when you’re milky,” he smirks.

Of course he does.

The man is obsessed with my body, distinctly more while I was pregnant, and just as much now. Nothing deters this man, not even after everything he saw while I was giving birth. If anything, the light in his eyes shone brighter once the twins came and it hasn’t left those dark irises since.

“You’re gross,” I tease.

“Yeah, but you love it. Filthy girl.” With a grin, he lifts himself to his knees between my legs, his cock thick and long, resting on my bare pussy. The simple touch has my back arching, my needy pussy demanding more than he’s willing to give me right now.

He palms my hard breasts, the ache of their fullness blending with the way Axel slides his cock over my clit.

“Ax—”

Alanis’s cries echo from the other room, making Axel shake his head. But even through his agitation, he smiles. “She gets it from you,” he grins admirably.

I roll my eyes and slide out of the covers. “I’ll get the milk, you get the twins.”

It’s a silent agreement between us both, and in less than a minute, I’m downstairs filling bottles, while Axel is upstairs changing the twins. The little things like this—us being a team—make it surreal.

I finish up the bottles and take them upstairs. Axel is sitting on the rocking chair, with both babies in his arms. It never ceases to amaze me how effortless he makes being a dad look like. He holds them against his bare chest, wearing only his sweatpants. Considering the man is always in suits, it’s strange seeing him in more relaxing attire. He still looks hot as sin, though.

I hand him a bottle, taking Alvaro from him.

“She’s going to be a killer when she’s older,” he murmurs, looking down at our daughter. The adoration in his eyes doesn’t go amiss, especially when it’s such a familiar look.

“I hope you don’t mean literally.”

He shakes his head, rocking Alanis when she whimpers. “I didn’t take you for a sexist, Caruthers,” he teases.

Alvaro snorts, almost in time with the joke his father just told.

We don’t have favorites, but it’s clear that the twins have other ideas. Alanis only ever settles with her daddy, and I can’t really blame him. Axel has a way of soothing me, even when he’s the one who has pissed me off in the first place.

My thoughts go back to that day in Lexie’s apartment when I caught her and Trigger together. I was too pissed to fully react to the fact Lexie had been hiding her relationship from me. Axel was stripping me of my independence, taking away my ability to take care of myself. I was so stressed carrying the twins that despite Axel’s version of caring, he had infuriated me to no end.

But as soon as he walked through Lexie’s door, with the look that said so much more than an apology, I couldn’t ignore him. His eyes tell more than words can. The man uses his words for simplicity. He uses his eyes to convey more than he can ever say.

Like now, as he watches me feeding Alvaro. He hasn’t taken his eyes off me, yet for some reason I can’t seem to figure him out.

“You okay?” I ask, laying Alvaro in the cot. I watch him for a moment, waiting for him to stir. When he doesn’t, I turn back to Axel.

He hands me Alanis without a word, even though I can see the thoughts swimming deep in the inky blackness of his eyes. Alanis settles instantly, and for a moment, I’m thankful for the peace.

“Come here.”

I turn my head to Axel who rocks in the chair patting his lap.

I shake my head with a smile, remembering last night. “I’m not fucking you on the rocking chair. The twins don’t need the trauma,” I laugh.

Axel stops rocking, his brows stitching together. “I’ll fuck you where I want. Now, come here.”

I pad towards him, dropping into his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck. “What’s up?” I croon.

“I meant what I said last night,” he says, nudging my nose with his.

I frown. All of last night is pretty much a blur between the mind-blowing orgasms and pillow-talk. I can’t really pinpoint a moment that Axel might have said something significant.

Axel squeezes me tightly, resting his head on my shoulder. “I’m not done making a family with you.”

My chest pinches, the sudden wash of uncertainty overwhelming me. I look at Axel, but all I see is his signature smirk that makes me melt every time. He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a box and resting it in my lap. Neither of us open the box. I’m not sure whether it’s trepidation or apprehension that immobilizes me, until I find the words in the back of my throat.

“What—?”

Axel silences me with a finger to my lips. He cups the back of my head, bringing it down to press his lips to mine sweetly. A gentle, precise kiss that swells an indescribable warmth in my chest is all he offers me before he speaks.

“The first day I saw you, I wanted you. I knew I had to have you. And every day since then, I’ve known how much you mean to me. I might not have shown it in the most conventional ways, but you and I, we’re not conventional.” He flips the box open, exposing an obsidian diamond set within white diamonds. A round cut stone that sparkles despite the depth of its color sits on a gold band.

I’ve never seen something so beautiful, so stunning that it catches my breath in an instant.

“A year ago, you were the last face I saw before I thought I was…” he takes a deep breath before continuing. It still hurts to think of what we both almost lost that day. “You’re the first person I want to wake up to, and the only person I want in my arms. You’re mine Cassidy Caruthers. As soon as you stepped into that interrogation room, you were mine. But none of that means shit unless you have my name.” He reaches up and swipes my cheek with his thumb, catching a tear I never knew had fallen. “You’ll be the death of me, baby. But you’re also everything I need in my life.”

“Axel, I… I…”

Lifting the ring up to me, he raises a cocky brow at me. “Don’t make me force you to say yes,” he smirks.

Of course, I want to say yes.

The asshole is it for me and he knows it. But rather than saying it in words, I slide my finger into the ring and let him carry me back to our bedroom. Where he makes me scream out that word until my throat is raw.