Chapter one
TWENTY-FOUR HOURS PRIOR
I sigh and plop down onto the couch without a care in the entire world. I am finally able to be happy and live my life, as I became a new person with my decision to finally peruse art instead of writing, I will be able to write just for fun! No dead lines, no angry publishing company, no nothin'! I can control and dictate my entire life now! I bet I'll even be able to make my brother get along with everybody, give him a social life! Besides art is cool, very very cool, and I'm apparently not terrible at art it like most subjects. The reason i said I'm finally able to be happy is because i just paid of the last of my college debts, wha whoo! Planned to have done that earlier, as in a year or two after college, but who cares, now i can go spend my money on nice gifts for my boyfriend River. Then I hear him coming into our apartment with a few grocery bags. I hop up to greet him at the door "River! How was the work trip, are you okay, do you wanna sit down and watch movies, are you hungry?" I insist. "Hello to you too, and yes my love, we can eat dinner and watch some movies" River responded with his beautiful smile and that playful glint he gets in his eyes when I get all clingy "Geez , I haven't even been home for five seconds" There is a moment of silence , and I stare him down throughout it and then he says to me " I'm joking babe~ you know you are the love of my life!" "River, you know I dont like when you joke like that though!" I whine. River knows it most definitely, I mean, he has known me since we were both in early middle school! It makes me feel like my over-zealous love is being rejected. "Baby~ cmon, let's go and cuddle on the couch " he demanded. I obliged very stubbornly . "What do you wanna watch hon'? Anything ya' want" I ask "Jercy Pa" I cut him off imeditly "No! The Jercy Packson movies suck! Something else" Dylan then tries another time "The hornet movie" I shake my head in dissaproval , a hornet hits on a woman and becomes a bee activist , who asked for that? "Magic Disney home with candle and family issues?" "We watched that WAY too much" "frog dimension with Anne Boonchoy" "Not feeling it". "Prs. Meregrins Home for odd Children?" He sighs "Sure" I finally say yes and me and Dylan cuddle up with the embroidered blanket with foxes he made. Halfway through the movie he falls asleep on me with his head on my lap, like he always does, and in the morning River will deny he ever did it like the prideful dumbass he is. I pet his hair and finish the movie and eventually fall into a slumber as well. He is a freaking bastard and idiot, but fuck, if he isnt the love and light of my life. I dont think I could live without him
SEVENTEEN HOURS PRIOR
"Nuh-uh, I didnt sleep on your lap, you short ass!" My Boyfriend yelled with an offended look on his face the suggestion. I was cooking our fucking breakfeast, and I tried joking around about how he is a big teddy bear. Now I am about ready to commit a fucking murder , he knows i am insecure about my height and is using that for an upper edge is this argument. "You are denying this for no reason, why are you so set on not having cuddled your boyfriend on the coach? Are you embarrassed about me? Do you seriously regret loving me?" I scream
River looks at me with a sad face "Dä-" he starts but his voice cracks he looks away and starts to tear up. "I , you , I didnt mean it like that, Okay! I love you but it's hard for me to admit that I aCAPABLE of love. I know it doesn't justify some of my actions. But I cannot change" he sniffles. We then hug and forgive each other.
I know it could be considered unhealthy how much stuff like this happens between us. But we have been so much better lately! Unlike high school when it happened every other day where we fought . I understand we shouldn't, but we have both been hurt so much and we end up taking it out on each other . That in itself hurts, it just feels like he doesnt care about me despite hearing it every five seconds. He feels the same! It's something we are both working on really hard, but this is also the reason I must say what I'm about to.
"C'mon hun' , I made breakfeast, we need to talk" I say in reluctance . I grab some of our nice plates and dish up the waffles and make little smiley faces with the eggs and bacon on top, then I slice up a strawberry into a heart for River. Immediately as we sit down he starts muching on the egg . He looks so happy right now, Should i really talk to him about this right this moment? Of course, it's River, he asks about it right on cue "What did you wanna talk about my love?". He is bouncing his leg in nervousness "Darling, I am not going to break up with you" and he immediately relaxes in his seat. "Well? What is it?" He asks in excitement. I suck in a deep breaths and tense up "River, I think we need to tell Dylan about us"
Silence.
That is very much worse than breaking up with me" he said in a monotone voice. "Oh come on! My brother isnt that scary!" I protest. " Really? Do you not remember how many people he has chased away from you in high school? He has a fricking brother complex! You know Dylan will do anything to keep me away from you, and I don't want to loose my boyfriend because of his stupid" River asks . "Dylan is still family, and he deserves to at least know that we started dating!" "He has always hated my guts!". I get up from the table and grab the plates "I have already planned to have lunch with him later this week, that is final"
FOURTEEN HOURS PRIOR
"RIVER ROBERSON , GET IN HERE WITH SOME NICE CLOTHES THAT YOU HAVENT BEEN WEARING FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW NOW" I scream. "Baby , can we just maybe skip it~" he whines in that voice he pulls when he tries to convince me to do something ridiculous. And it is always on ridiculous things like this. My brother doesnt bite, he grew out of that habit a long while ago! I sigh and go to the bedroom where River was naked and looking for something that isnt his normal Tattered hoodie with his vest overtop it with a pair of ripped jeans. I eventually helped him find a nice jacket that went over a button up and dress pants. I put on a waist coat and some okay pants .
The rest of the day was a blur, but I remember a few things.
After I managed to get him out of the house we drove to this fancyish laidbackish restraunt that I cant quite remember the name of. Then we found my Brother, and he was so happy to see me, he immediately ran up to me and squealed about how happy he was to see me, Dylan always does this. Then he saw River, " What is he doing here?" Dylan asks in a spiteful voice "Dylan, be Nice" I say " Lets go inside and order"
I remember the sitting down u having our orders taken by this woman in her thirties . I can't remember the food me and Dylan got, but I remember that River got himself a really sweet coffee and got himself grilled cheese and tomato soup of all things. "Its my favourite though!" He complained when I mentioned it, that left me chuckling , but Dylan was very unimpressed. " You bring me to this fancy resturaunt , so that I can do what? Watch this idiot eat his fucking grilled cheese and soup? Are you not going to even ask about me how I have been without you? I am working on a big college project that is nessasary for my medical degree that i just hit pause on so that I can come and meet you!" Dylan whisper yells. "Dylan , I was going to! But the main reason I brought you here was to tell you about something...." I say with a quieter tone, as some people had started looking at us funny.
"Spit it out then!" He said, leaning back In his chair with an expecting expression. I take a big gulp of air "Dylan, Me and River are dating " I say firmly , I cant and wont have him take anybody else away.
" WHAT, the, FUCK " he screams "Okay, I can understand you wanting to fool around a bit with other people, and i cant control you , ButHIM?". "We are in a restaurant Dylan!" I say "Why does that even matter right now ? You are dating a fucking himbo, idiot and liar who cant look out for himself!" River visibly dropped . Okay , he is my brother, but this isn't acceptable. "River can take care of himself if he wants, he is not an liar, idiot nor a fucking himbo! The only damn reason you hate him is because every man I look at takes me away from you and your a possessive asshole who just thinks it's torture to not have my attention!" I yell with years of conviction.
Dylan starts to laugh "You aren't serious right? I'm trying to keep you away from toxic people! I'm your older fucking brother, should i not protect you? What have I not done for you, I have even helped you through that eating disorder you had Dan! Sure himbo here hellped a bit, but im your brother" He argues. "That is the only good thing you have done for me Dylan! I had that fucking eating disorder because of you essentially , that is basically fixing what you caused! Otherwise you haven't protected me from shit, you are only a few minutes older than me Dylan, what can you do to protect me when we are both going through it? Keeping me away from all men certainly isnt helping!" I scream, he needs some fucking sense knocked into him "Baby, we are in a restaurant , remember? I think we should go" River said hurriedly . I sigh and then a grab River's hand "okay hon'" i then turn around "Dylan I still love you, but you have problems I can't fix and then you crowd me not letting me be myself ". Dylan grabbed me as i got up "Please dont go, i want you to stay with me, please?" "I can't Dylan, you are just trying to control my life" then right as he was going to say something else to keep me I leave with River.
EIGHT HOURS PRIOR
A few hours later after I comforted River from the Dickson things my brother said we decide to go to a bar, we needed some fun after that.
Both of us got absolutely wasted
"Space song" was playing when River randomly said "Ey', de fuccks you's keep Da bad guy Dylen roun'? I don' like 'im". "dunno , he my biiiiig brother~ he ver' mean but loves es me" I reply in drunkness "wan' cuddles idiot" "Bu' my boyfrien be very very angy, whoevers gotcha firs is lukky" he pushed me away. "You'rs my boyfriend babye~" "oh yeah! I'm ver' luckye" he says with a goofy smile and hugs me! I wish I could hug him like that still
SIX HOURS PRIOR
We sobered up a tiny bit, we weren't quite that dumb, but we still were pretty drunk. On top of that we were hungry , we didnt have lunch of course. The bar had food as well! So I had mozzarella sticks and burgers, and River got himself a grilled cheese and a coffee as he was sad he didnt get to eat it earlier. Dumbass. We were at some table right next to the window joking around about highschool and middle school because we had been so damn idiotic. " RIVER! We promised not to talk about that anymorrre" I protested when he mentioned my promposal to him declaring us as boyfriends. "You wrote five whole ass novels that spelt out 'Prom w/ me River ?' You titled a book Question mark just for that! And you did it on the rooftop nobody was allowed on!" River laughed " Yeah , I was planning on jumping off it if you said no" i groaned into the table . River started laughing harder. "Y'know, it's funy, your brother tried to claim I am toxic, i cant be trusted and am not a good fit for you. But he was the one who introduced us after I moved from my hometown kisuun , he had been my best friend till I met you . Then he started to resent me" he muttered with a gloomy look on his face. He has talked with me about before, but i cant help but be suprised. My Dylan couldn't do that , right? No matter how many times im proven wrong, I can't do anything but love my older twin
My love decided for us that we needed to dance."Me and husband" by mitski was playing while we were having fun on the floor
It's always been just him and me together
So I bet all I have on that furrowed brow
And at least in this lifetime we're sticking together
Me and my husband
We're sticking together
And I am the idiot with the painted face
In the corner, taking up space
But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved
Me and my husband we are doing better
THREE HOURS PRIOR
Out of nowhere, River gasps and stops dancing . "What's wrong Honey?" I ask, pretty concerned. "Dæ-#Ñi, I think we ,we are being watched" He said in a hushed voice."Hon' we arent being watched, thats ridiculous" i try to reassure him. I would have laughed it off , tell him he's my idiot, but River looked completely and utterly freaked out. "River, honey, we can call an uber if you want" I say, he looks so scared, it passes my mind, maybe we are being watched. "Thanks i, I would like that" he says, seemingly looking for somebody. Me and River sat down while i called the uber. River was frantically looking around the room mutting under his breathe"Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Where did he go? Where did he go?" Over and over again . Is River okay? Did he see somebody? What in the world happened while dancing? The uber gets here, the apartment is within walking distance, but we are drunk still and didnt want to take chances at getting hurt. River is bouncing his leg the entire way home looking everywhere, what in the fucking world is he searching for?
I keep asking River what is going on, but he pushes me away saying "Not right now, I'll tell you later once I'm a hundred percent sure". But we did eventually managed to get into the comfort of our home.
ONE HOUR PRIOR
We had been settled down for a while in our bedroom watching "Daddy daycare". In the middle of the movie River turned toward the window, he jumped up immedietly. I looked over, and i saw the silhouette of a man with a gun. At this point, i was beliving River about the stalker "BanÍ11æål, he's here! I dont know what he wants, but it cant be good. I saw him multiple times in the bar, he is probably angry about what we did earlier. He could want either of us, we need to call the cops, close the doors and shut the blinds! I think i saw a gun" River started closing up everything up.
"Crap, i left my phone at the bar" River Screamed . "You can use my phone!" I exclaim, quickly handing my iphone to him. He turns it on , he turns it on and starts to dial 9-11 . Then "Crap! B@niæL, why dont you ever charge your phone!" River yells in panic. "What? It was at 30% when we went to the bar!". "We were there for four hours, and you know your phone doesnt charge well!" River starts to freak out way more than before, he paced over and over across the room repididly with staggering breathes. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck me! What are we going to do?" "River, hon', I think we need to calm down" "Calm down! There is your jealous, crazy ass brother with a complex for you outsode our fucking window with a gun!" He screams. "What? It cant be Dylan!" I argue "Okay, whatever, you dont think its him. But you saw there is a person with a fucking gun out our window, who most likely has bad intentions, can we agree on that?". " Yes..." I grumble
We hear a gun shoot, the man is in the building now. River took a deep breathe "I think I should take the car and go to the police" i start to protest , "RIVER! That is so dangerous, if they really are trying to get us, then you shouldn't even think of that! You're just asking to be hurt or killed, i dont want you to leave me. The authorities are probably already being called. We dont-" but River interupts me "Are we a hundred percent sure on that? Or do you have any better ideas? Also we need to be quiet, he could hear us" We both stay silent for a moment , He grabs me and sits me down on the bed "Daniel" That was my name! I forgot my own name, how did i do that? "i need you to listen to me and do as i say. If you hide under the bed in something" River grabs a blanket and hands it to me "Like this, you wont get hurt. He wont notice you. I am going to go and try to get to the police, you know that the station is only a few blocks away. I wont be long! I will come back Daniel, so dont worry! I just need you to
wait for me baby, i will come back" he hugs me for the last time. He stares at me with his stormy grey eyes , his beautiful strawberry blonde hair in a pony tail and that stupid grin of his."Honey, i cant live without you! I just barely make it day to day with you. River your the reason i stopped starving myself, your the reason i love myself, your the reason i can exist! Promise me you wont leave!" "I cant, but i love you, i can promise i'll love you for fifty lifetimes" One last kiss, it was one last kiss he gave me before he left forever. It was a kiss i cherished until the very last second. River left , i was in a state of shock.
Once he left, i immedietly did what he asked me, i burito rolled myself in multiple blankets until i looked like a fabric KFC chicken thigh that was falling apart and rolled under the bed.
TWENTY MINUTES PRIOR
Bang bang, Did my boyfriend really just leave to call the police? Bang bang, is there really a shooter? Bang bang, how long have i been under here? Bang bang, at least over fifty minutes. Bang bang, how is river? Bang bang Is he safe?i hear screams of terror, Bang bang. Bang bang, oh god, is he getting closer! Bang, BAM , Crack , the door flew open, and it broke. I just replaced it! I heard. Something being dragged in as well.
"DaàniIiel~" Dylan said, his voice cracking.
thump
he put something down . He didnt sound like my little brother. This was not my brother. "Come on out! I wont do anything. I'll bring you home Dan!" I can hear him touching my stuff. "Holy crap, so many fucking pictures of this dick hole,so self absorbed! He doesnt deserve such a perfect and pretty boyfriend. Why and how could you fall in love with this guy?" Bang bang shatter, Bang bang shatter, Bang bang shatter. I hear the glass scattering everywhere. "Forgive my temper Dan, this asshole just makes me so fucking mad, well, i guess neither of us will have to deal with him anymore , huh?" I make an audible gasp. He, he didnt actually? He couldnt have "Oh? Yeah, he took the bullet like a champ, i have to admit. He tried so hard to not passout and, yknow, die. But that just meant i got to see how the light inside slowly died! So fucking funny aint it Dan?" I felt him suddenly grab my blankets and pull me out of hiding. "Look at him Dan" he says, i weakly ask what. Dylan grabbed me by collar violently like he would when we would fight when we were younger "LOOK AT HIM!" he screams pointing over by the door. I turned to see my boyfriend, covered in blood and bruises, his face looked like he had been stabbed multiple times with a knife. I could barely tell his face was his! I stared in horror at this disgusting, barf inducing scene.
Wait, this meant that Dylan has a knife. I came up with a plan. I looked at Dylan , who had a white hoodie drenched in blood and dishevled hair, tears streaming down my face .I secretly was trying to decide where he put it. "Awee, are you okay? Ill take much better care of you than him. He was just a distraction from me! Come give me a hug" i furrow my brows, this is the manipulating i remember. "I said, COME GIVE ME A HUG" he boomed
I leant and forced out a not-even-half-hearted hug. But i took a guess , and reached into the front of the hoodie. My hands gripped onto a stainlesss steel blade. Quickly, i jumped back. Dylan took action by grabbing my shirt and yanking me close enough to put the gun to my head. "You wouldn't" i say. "If you use that knife i'll have to" He had a smirk on his face "So, hows this for controling?" Dylan asks as he pushes the barrel harder to my head "If you dont want die like your Ex , than you will put your knife down, and come with me!"
TEN MINUTES PRIOR
With melachony i say "Okay, ill go with you" hold the knife out like i am going to hand i to him. Dylan starts to grab it , but i pull the knife away and swoop his hand with the gun away. I take my left leg and kick him full force with it so that he falls down. He fell directly into the bedroom wall. Dylan tries to shoot me, but he misses. I kick his gun away from him "Dani-" he starts to protest, but i grab the gun before this maniac can get to it. "NO! You Fucking killed River! You planned on kidnaping me! You have maniplulated me for years! You made me depressed, you are the sorce of all my pain! You just murdered my fucking boyfriend because of your godamn complex!" i scream at him.
NINE
I took the gun, and i shot both his legs and shoulders.
EIGHT
Dylan's mouth was moving , so he probably was screaming at me , or just because of the pain, but i couldnt hear anything but blood pumping through me.
SEVEN
I didnt just finish him off there, like i probably should have, i stabbed him in his stupid godamn ugly face that looked so much like mine ten, twenty, thirty fucking times. I stabbed him until he looked like my boyfriend essentially.
I shot this dick in the chest until the bullets were almost up, i left one.
SIX
Why did i do this? Did i have to take revenge?
FIVE
Yes, yes i did. He has hurt me so god damn fucking much! Dylan stole everything important to me! He has always done this bullshit , he would have hurt more people if i didnt.
FOUR
You just killed your brother, he lived with you in the womb! He's supposed to be the one who protects you. Dylan only tried to do his job, he only did it in the wrong way
THREE
He earned this by himself, i didnt do shit to do this to him. Dylan is ficking insane and always has been
TWO
I cant even process Rivers death. I walk over to my love to see his bloodied up body, i dont even know what too do! Living without him is impossible. I dont want to live in a world without his beutiful smile, his making fun of me, yet next minute he is taking me to the dance floor. The way his strawberry blonde hair barely reaches his shoulders, the how his grey eyes shimmer makes his eyes look like mini moons. I cant do that.
River is the reason i was alive before, he keeps me from slowly rotting from the inside out by distracting me from all my pain.
I check the gun, make sure it has the bullet, and its off safety. I give River one last kiss where his lips would be "Im sorry, i know you would not have wanted this"
𝐎𝐍𝐄
Da#!@)_ $@€+£×?@ was no longer
