Living for the thrill of it
Living for the thrill of it
I never understood how someone could hate someone
but I was 8
I was wearing my Halloween costume
I just wanted to play a game
Just wanted him to love me
Just wanted to be a kid
And he took that
He took away my childhood
I didnโt understand
I was too fucking young
Too young to know why I was terrified of him
So scared to be alone with him
I canโt remember everything
Canโt remember his hands on my skin
Burning like hot coal
Searing into my skin like a brand
I was young and naive,
It happened againโฆ
And again.. And again
I was 12 when it ended
12 when we left
12 when i told my parents
12 when my father told me i deserved it
Then 13โฆ
13 when i found out i had been pregnant
13 when i realized i was fucked
That i couldnโt be saved
But iโm living
Why?
Because heโs in jail
Because I can be better
Because if I let it control me..
Then maybe my father was right
