What is your opinion?
Captivating
"Captivating at first until I decided I wanted to read more and more."
well crafted, original and unique!
"First time I've read a story like this on Inkitt. I find it very unique and well crafted. It has only a few chapters, but somehow despite all the confusion of the quickly happening events I got a very good feel for the characters. It's the way they are written - their inner thoughts. their dialogue, their doings - all these allow the reader to really grasp the essence of the character (loved Ruslan btw). I appreciated the Catalogue chapter (If you put it there just for clarification, I think it should stay as part of the story - it just adds to your unique writing style and it is placed at the right moment to clarify some things . The plot is quite complex - so the story keeps challenging you all the time, but it's great to read it through these characters' eyes. What can I say: It's intriguing,unique, original, well written, dynamic story, surprising you with each chapter. "
This is great
"DOAH is one story with great potential. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the first three chapters so far. This platform truly houses talented authors, and this work puts it justice! (Why does it say I've only read 0 chapters?)"
Moss lots of Moss love it
"I enjoyed the story. Being a fast reader, it's 100% worth the read. Even if it's continuing, I adore something like this and would 100% recommend the read."
DAYS OF AN HOUR
""DAYS OF AN HOUR" is a compelling thriller. The writing style is vivid and immersive, drawing readers into Ruslan's world of internal struggles and external dangers. The story's blend of suspenseful encounters, like the eerie visit to the manor, and the exploration of familial bonds and identity, makes it a captivating read that promises even more twists and emotional depth in the chapters to come. "
Hello
"You have a sweet way with words that compliment your writing. Great job--Robert"
Intriguing
"This story really gets better by the chapter! The detailed descriptions stimulate all the right senses, and the premise is beyond unique. Can't wait to read more."
Interesting!
"An interesting beginning! I'm curious to see where this will go. Well done!"
Honest Review
"All comments and critiques are solely for constructive help and not to be harsh. Days Of An Hour Title, Cover+ Summary: The title I would say is very intriguing. usually, it is heard as hours in a day but this turns it on its head and gets the reader wondering what it could mean. I will say that the bit underneath it does confuse me a little as it seems separate from the title and out of place. The summary is sort and informative, it gives us a brief outline as to what we may encounter, but it also leaves room for the imagination to fill in the blanks and come up with possibilities as to what could happen. It most certainly makes me look forward to diving in. In terms of the cover, from first impressions, I do not how it relates to the story and it is slightly difficult to make out what it is showing and portraying, but I am sure as I read and learn of the lore and plot more, it will come into focus. It is definitely mysterious! Chapter One: Tomorrowland I am unsure if Ruslan is a character and if the name at the beginning of the chapter is indicating it is from his point of view. If it is, then it needs a capital R as it is a name. The first paragraph is very well written, you clearly have enthusiasm and skill when it comes to descriptions. Your writing style is quite unique, going off others I have seen, but it is a positive thing and sets you apart. The, With Lance, sentence doesn't quite read well. I would recommend editing it as there is no explanation as to who Lance is- other than there being some form of relationship between them with the sympathetic gestures- or why with him they forgot their mum's documents. As well as this, the last few words 'away her name' doesn't sound right. We begin to learn that his mother isn't well in some capacity and that he has visited her in what I gather to be a hospital or care home. As for Lance, I am unsure whether he is a friend or the brother of the protagonist, perhaps even a solicitor or someone of a similar career as he is collecting the documents. 'but that really was my least concern'- needs editing/rewording (really was the least of my concern) hat look in on Lance's face as the protagonist leaves the hall? It says there is a look on his face, but doesn't describe an emotion or expression. The question of the Asylem escapee seemed a bit out of the blue and in a way, unnecessary, unless it comes into play a little later. Even so, I think that section could be built a bit more so that it doesn't seem placed as an afterthought. I am unsure as to what the mushing of mold refers to. Overall, this chapter was well written with few corrections to make. I will say, however, that some parts are difficult to understand and read. Whether it is the way it is written or the words that have been used, I do not know, but I have found myself confused as to what the sentence could mean, or it has taken me a couple of times to understand what is being said. I found this too in the plot of chapter one, as we are drip-fed bits of information that don't seem to click together yet, and there does seem to be a lot of these small pieces floating around which can cause slight confusion to start with. For this, I would say that developing a few of the little pieces so that it informs the reader more E.g. who Lance is and their relationship, what happened to his mum etc. will help make it seem less rough around the edge. In terms of speech in this chapter, I would say that on the whole, it is good, that you have nicely written descriptions surrounding the conversations that allow us to build our own picture of the characters and their interactions with each other. Chapter Two: Moss 'I had bare idea of how i reachd the house'- this needs rewording (I had little idea/ I barely had any idea...) Not sure I understand what is being referred to when it says 'they were dirty greens, exactly how gree his mind was.' I do like the additions of the diary segments, however, I did struggle a lot to read what was written on them. 'I only wanted mum got to see him again'- this needs rewording. Usually, the phrase is' makes my stomach churn' not skin churn. 'I'd given up and away my identity as well'- needs rewording. Try to refrain from using 'and much more' frequently as it can make your writing seem repetitive. I am not entirely sure as to why the chapter is called moss, even though moss is mentioned in the chapter, it doesn't seem to be important enough to name a chapter after it. As an overall chapter, I do find myself more confused than in the first chapter. I did not expect it to take a drug dealing route, and I do not completely understand what is happening with his dad either and how it ties into things. Clearly, you have a vision of how you would like this to be written and come across to the reader and I will say that there are brilliant positives here, but I do think it needs editing, just to make things a bit clearer to the readers and so that things don't jump from one thing to the next without much of an explanation. Journal entries: 09.16 Cherry tomatoes to send at home- needs editing (To send home) Chapter Three: Beautiful Things 'It was desolated'- desolate 'greenery blooming into its cracks'- from its cracks/ in the cracks 'few miles away from home into the woods'- in the woods. The circumstances of the man in the grass is very odd 'rubbing his face off the dirt' -is he rubbing dirt on his face or off of his face? "So what if we check on ahead of time?..."- this section of speech needs editing as I don't really know what he is saying. I do feel a little confused. There are so many mentions of moss. It makes me wonder whether it has a deeper meaning. 'honing the name as mine'- honing means to refine/ perfect something or to smooth and sharpen. Was it owning you meant perhaps? "Did what?"- correct to "Do what?" "Do you realise he already..."- correct to "Did you realise..." We do get a better sense of the characters in this chapter, and we begin to learn more of the father too. However, I did have quite a few questions reading through it, some of which carried over from previous chapters. Despite connecting more with the characters, I still feel like there is a disconnect, seeing as there isn't much mentioned about appearances so it is hard to imagine what they look like. Hopefully, some of my questions get answered. Chapter Four: Morals Of A Peacock '17th with bare, thinned...'- with a bare, thinned Winchester Gerard- I thought it was Gerard Winchester 'in works like mine'- In an occupation like mine if you use numbers, E.g. 4 men, then write it as four instead of the number, it is much more formal. Who or what is Ludwigsen's? "You don't want a bad impression, do you?"- "You don't want to make a bad impression....?" 'Valle and I sit across them- Sit across from them. 'I looked at him a last hi as he fumbled...'- this needs editing and rewording. So was the hostage Nesto? wouldn't they have known it was him? Or did Nesto appear? If so, what happened to the hostage? This ending is a bit confusing but it it an intense and thrilling cliffhanger nonetheless, because one thing is for sure, Ruslan is injured. Chapter Five: Old Grass Rubbing off the blood in his face- on his face it needs to be corrected to Why would Killian be able to say how many moles Nesto has on his body? “Why do you know Killian?”- wouldn’t, how do you know Killian, make more sense? I was robbed off of everything- robbed of everything The anger in his face- the anger on his face Wrapping gauze around his wrist or waist is it supposed to say? Their involved loved ones where- needs to be corrected to were instead of where “And what do you, they’re doing good…”- not sure what is trying to be said here Overall review summary: I would say that you have a good idea going here. The plot and execution of it are a bit rough around the edges and did admittedly leave me confused as to what was happening, but I did begin to piece a few bits together as it went on. I am aware it is a work in progress and so I will hold reservations to my critiques because they could very well fall flat on their faces as your work progresses. Main character We learn from the beginning, and the front cover, that the protagonist’s name is Ruslan Kieffer and that his mother is in some form of care, but that he cares deeply for her. We know little about his appearance and so I think that part was something I struggled with, and the same goes for the other too, because I couldn’t create that image of him in my mind and so found it even more difficult to picture him in situations etc. He does progress as the chapters go by, we see more of his personality and his past including his father, which I did struggle to understand slightly in terms of why they were collecting exhaust pipes, how his father having an affair turned things upside down etc. Something I was aware of while reading was the constant mention of moss and mold. I can’t help but question what it has to do with everything happening and why it is such a strong feature in the book. I know that his father went, as far as I’m aware, mad and was found by him in the woods, so perhaps that has a connection to it. Relationships with other characters: The relationship between Ruslan and his mother is a sweet one, there is clear care and adoration for her, enough so that he hands her documents to Lance to protect her. His relationship with Lance seems to be a professional one and reading on, it is confirmed but it is clear that there is something more personal there in the gentler ways between them, it seems they developed a somewhat friendly nature. As for Valle, they work well together and it is apparent that they do hold a more friendly tone but can also assume a professional partnership when it comes to it. There is little relationship between Ruslan and his half-family and there isn’t entirely a good relationship between him and his father and it has long-lasting effects and reasoning for the things Ruslan does now. Plot: I’m terms of the plot, there is a theme there, although I did find that there was quite a lot going on that overcrowded the main plot. The ideas would all work and fit together, but I think that editing it slightly to just help click them into place and make it more cohesive and unified instead of multiple stories in one that makes the plot hard to follow, would greatly benefit it going forward. Spelling and punctuation: There are a few issues with spelling and punctuation but nothing that severely impacts the reader's ability to enjoy the novel. Some parts need rewording, but they are simple edits and shouldn’t take long to do. Overall, In terms of spelling and punctuation, you have it under control and I don’t have any worries in that regard. "
