What is your opinion?
Apex's Review
"At first, I was unsure if I would like this story. I love supernatural and magical stories, but while reading, I noticed a lot of dialogue, which isn't always a bad thing. The usual style of writing I love is when an author lets their character explain all of their thoughts and feelings for everything that they're going through. With a lot of dialogue between people, you can't really get to know a character beyond a conversation.. Well, that was only my first impression. The author soon surprised me with amazing descriptions of all of their scenes in the following chapters. I quickly changed my opinions and actually began to really enjoy the story. It was definitely worth my time. I would recommend this to anyone who is into anything about magic and witches. Thank you for the fantastic story! 🥰"
Fire and Air
"This book was very interesting. I do not know much about modern day magic but this book caught my attention. I enjoyed the plot. It was very well written. I highly recommend this book."
Fire And Air
"More please! A Thoroughly enjoyable reading experience. While not being a great fan of YA romance stories in general, I found myself, somewhat against my will I must state, enjoying myself with this story! Why do I suspect a bit of spell craft involved? Of course this is a tale filled with magical experience so I must assume all skilfully woven spells were intentional."
Interesting!
"First of all, the sibling relationship was relatable haha it really is an effective way to show they don’t get along well at time because that is reality. Now I’m really curious about the guy in her dream, hope to see more of him, and romance as well. Keep it up, author!"
Great!
"This was a wonderful story! I can’t wait to see where the author goes next! Take your time to read this and leave your thoughts. This was worth the read!"
Fire and Air
"This is a very interesting take on witches and seems to be working because it is nearing that time of Halloween. These are witches who pack lunches and do things. Like everyday stuff. But are obsessed with their herbs. Not the types you meet on the hoodlum trial? We love witches and they love each other but each to their own I will take a broomstick and we can fly into the magic of this story. Well done."
Amazing
"This is excellent. It starts off seeming like a typical teen book, then has a grand secret reveal, hints of a mystery and possible romance, and gets more intriguing. I love the magic and mystery. I loved Sabrina and if you know 'Hookie' the webtoon. I love anything that relates to magic. The Author here shows her ability to craft enjoyable and imaginative scenes and dialogue without falling into the trap of minimalism or being so descriptive that the story is slow. I envy the author for this; it is an excellent way for me, as a potential author, to learn how to write better. It's also refreshing to see a more Western-style story; give it a good read. I promise you will enjoy it. I will be watching to see what happens next in this series. "
Intriguing
"I'm only a few chapters in but I'm looking forward to carrying on because the set-up is so successful in showing me there's going to be some mega action. The little details about their morning routine in the opening really ground the story and reveal a lot about their lives. The character descriptions are thorough which gives this a richness and I can feel the strong bonds Lexi has with her core group. I want to know more about the house where the family are leaving... intriguing. I love witchcraft tales so I'm looking forward to going deeper into this. You have a flair for fast-paced text which keeps the reader interested."
Refreshing take to the supernaturals.
"It is a binge worthy book! Hopefully the same level of suspense and charismatic characters continue unto the next series, loved the character development and dialogues! Keep up the good work! ❤️ "
Witching Souls: Fire and Air
"To start at the beginning...you've got a professional-looking cover. And that's the first big challenge. One small suggestion. The yellow triangle on the right gets a bit lost in the light background of the dry leaves. You could move all three figures up so the triangle is framed by the blue and the smoke. Or, you could make the leaves behind it darker so that it stands out better. Now to the story. You've got a good start and hook for your genre audience. I suggest you tighten up your writing just a bit so that your readers can race through your story. They know something will happen just around the corner, and you want them to get there as fast as they can. Here is just a quick rewrite of your opening paragraphs to give you an idea. Your original Why does he feel familiar? His eyes locked on my own as he held me gently in his embrace. The sunset reflected from his blue eyes. I continued to stare as he continued to move closer, leaning me back slightly. I let out a shaky breath as the white flakes in his irises became clearer. The slight breeze in the air made me shiver. I felt his heat and subconsciously moved closer, basking in it. Rewrite Why does he feel familiar? His eyes locked on mine as he held me. I continued to stare and could see the sunset reflected in his blue eyes as he gently leaned me back. My breath escaped slowly as the white flakes in his eyes became clear as he pressed even closer. The slight breeze made me shiver. His heat enveloped me as I pressed into him, basking in his closeness. I hope this is helpful. You have a knack for storytelling (the hard part). Honing your craft will make your stories even more compelling. Good luck and good writing."
Loved the witchcraft!
"Very nice story! Whoever likes the Wicca lore will enjoy this, Cool explanations and descriptions about witchcraft, symbols, rituals - I appreciated that. It is a smooth read, I enjoyed getting to know all the characters and follow the story of Lexi. Most of the story so far is from Lexi's pov but I noticed that sometimes the pov suddenly changes. I think it's better to make it more consistent, either take 1 pov or multiple rather than one dominant but interrupted with occasional change.There is a group of characters and for most of the time is evident who is speaking, sometimes, also due to some mistakes in dialogue tags, it gets a bit confusing. It's fun to get to know them, and Lexi is a very lovable character. I think you built her well. Overall I quite enjoyed reading this story, the plot progresses nicely and it compelled me to read on. Your writing style is quite neat and easy to read. The whole setup becomes even more intriguing with the introduction of the new family. Well done!"
Awesome work
"This story is so intriguing. I recommend it to anyone obsessed with romance and intense relationships. I haven't read it all, "
A great read!
"Overall, I had a fun time reading this story. I think the biggest strength was getting to know the world of witches, where I can see lots of real-world inspiration. It's clear you have so much knowledge about said inspirations and I really enjoyed getting to know how the magic worked in this story. I think Lexi is a great POV character and she has a great voice to tell this story, but the other characters were fun to get to know as well! I think Leo is a fantastic love interest and I adore his soft spot for animals. That's a vibe. I love the dreams and unveiling of secrets, but like to see the first in real life meeting happen a little sooner, as that is a primary hook of the story. But that's just me! For writing style, I'd love to see you play around with condensing some of your interactions and beats, and some showing, but otherwise, I noticed your chapters and descriptions of spells were where your writing style really shined bright! :) For grammar, you're mostly good, the main thing I'd focus on is making your tenses consistent. But overall, this was an enjoyable read with great characters and I'm excited to see where things go! Nice job! :)"
Nicely written, just a little too slow for me
"This story is very well written, and I love stories that star witches, but after reading five chapters, I just can’t get into it. I loved getting to know the girls friendship, I just wish I had more direction on where the plot is going in the story. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THIS IS A BAD STORY! If you are someone who loves to read about friendships and magic, particularly modern day, I think you’ll enjoy this story! "
A solid YA read
"I should give a disclaimer that I don’t usually read YA books. Off the bat I find the notion of witches, vampires and werewolves going to high school together ridiculous, but I accept that it’s a convention of the genre. I tried my best to approach the work as the intended audience would. I thought magic system and world were the best parts of the book. In the ritual scenes the esoteric descriptions of magic in use came through really well, and I thought they were the highlights of the story. I appreciated the ‘grounded occult’ take on magic as opposed to the more cartoonish approach a lot of other writers take. Overall, I found the book quite good, but I do have a few suggestions of things you might want to think about in future revisions. Near the start of the book, we get introduced to a lot of characters and concepts very quickly and it gets confusing. It wasn’t until several chapters in that I felt that I really got a sense of who Lexi’s friends were independent of each other. I recommend expanding the first few chapters and splitting up how long it takes to meet everyone, probably into groups of one or two each. Then you could tell us about their elemental magic types and ‘enmagica’ experiences at the same time as the rest of their character descriptions so we get a better sense of who they are, and how their powers relate to them as characters. The Bunsen burner scene in chapter 7 was a good use of magic to solve a minor problem; I’d recommend things like that early on story to get us introduced to the setting by showing us the different types of magic in practical use. I think it would create a stronger impression on the reader immediately than just flat exposition alone can. Some of your sentence structures can feel kind of awkward, and wordy at times. This seems to happen most often in the descriptive text in and around the group dialogue exchanges in the earlier chapters. I felt that you sharpened your craft as the story went on, but the start of a book is where it's most important to put your best foot forward or people might not wait to see the later chapters. There are also some minor typos, as well as reoccurring errors in the punctuation and capitalization throughout the book- mostly relating to commas and full stops. You might want to think about when you are and aren’t using contractions, particularly in dialogue. Unless you’re making it a character point that someone is enunciating very clearly, it sounds very stuffy or formal to say “I have just tidied up here” or “I will get the equipment” rather than “I’ve just tidied up here” or “I’ll get the equipment”. This is a case by case basis kind of thing, but teenagers in particular are notorious for lazy pronunciation. You may want to consider the frequency and severity of the profanity usage. It’s not something that matters to me personally, but this book reads like it’s aimed at a YA demographic. In terms of violence and sex it’s definitely a ‘PG-13’, but the language sometimes feels more like an ‘R’. This isn’t really a criticism, it’s just a marketing observation. In summation, I would say that this feels like a very solid draft for a book that I could definitely see in the ‘teen’ section of the local library. I do recommend another thorough round of editing to sort out the technical issues. I know it’s one of the least fulfilling parts of writing, but I really do believe that it’s dedication and constant revision that turns good stories into great stories. "
An interesting take on modern-day magic.
"It's a fun story! It moves around quickly and keeps you on your toes. There are a few grammatical errors, but not enough to stop me from reading it. It's fun to see a more modern concept of magic that's based off a more pagan/wiccan concept, rather than reinventing the wheel of what magic is and where it comes from, while adding in newer ideas as to how it works and what can be done. I really enjoy the young-love story. It doesn't beat you in the head with it but makes each romantic scene important. I'm definitely curious as to where this will go!"
Nikki's Review
" Having read up to chapter five, I'm already excited about where your story is headed. The way you've introduced the characters and set up the world is intriguing. I can sense the potential for greatness in the way you're building suspense and weaving the plot threads together. "
