Mirrors
Oh baby do you know what that’s worth?
Oh, heaven is a place on earth
They say in heaven love comes first
We’ll make heaven a place on earth
Ooh, heaven is a place on earth
Light looked at the person in the bed bopping his head to his alarm ring tone even with his eyes still closed while stretching his arms languidly. Immediately a smile registered on the other young man’s face when he saw Bright sitting on the couch next to the bed.
“Good morning, my grumpy angel.”
Light rolled his eyes as Win jumped out of bed and sashayed towards the restroom for his morning rituals. The cell phone continued to blare.
When the night falls down
I wait for you and you come around
“You forgot to turn off your alarm!” Light called out to Win.
“No, just let the song play. I love that song.” Win answered from behind the closed bathroom door.
“But you play that song first thing in the morning and before going to bed. Don’t you get tired of it?” Light rolled his eyes as he looked at the bathroom door, secretly counting the minutes before Win emerged from it in Light’s favorite attire.
And the world’s alive
With the sound of kids on the street outside
Light leaned his head back on the sofa as Win continued his business inside the restroom. He shook his head in amusement as the song continued to blare from Win’s cellphone. Seconds later, Win stepped out of the bathroom still damp from his early morning shower and still dancing to the music. He was only clad with a towel snugly wrapped around his narrow waist and Light was surprised when Win suddenly pulled him up from his position on the sofa and hugged him.
When you walk into the room
You pull me close and we start to move
And we’re spinning with the stars above
And you lift me up in a wave of love
Light still can’t get over the fact that Win can see and touch him while other people do not even know he exists in this dimension. What’s so special about Win aside from being a ball of sunshine day in and day out? Light thought irritably as Win attempted to dance with him by pressing his half-naked body against the other entity. Light was thankful for not having a material body because he was sure that the contact would be enough to make him sport an embarrassing boner.
Oh baby do you know what that’s worth
Oh Heaven is a place on earth
They say in Heaven ---
Suddenly, the music stopped and Win sighed in exasperation as he let go of Light and bounced over to where his phone lay silent. Still dancing to a non-existent tune, Win plugged his phone into a nearby outlet and looked at Light sheepishly. Light just rolled his eyes in mock disdain and turned his back on Win to look outside the window. He was not surprised when Win hugged him from behind.
He turned his head to look at Win and raised a hand to flick Win’s forehead with his finger. Win released Light before pouting in return as he rubbed his forehead and stuck his tongue out at Light. Light rolled his eyes and gently shook his head. Crossing his arms across his chest, he sat back on the couch and cocked his head to the side as he watched Win open his closet and look for something decent to wear to work. Light clicked his tongue in mock dismay before speaking.
“What am I going to do with you, you naughty bunny?” Win chuckled softly before looking back at Light holding a pair of grey slacks and a light pink long-sleeved button-down shirt in each of his hands. He gently laid the garments atop the bed before mischievously wagging a finger at Light who smirked in amusement.
“But you like this naughty bunny, hmm?” Light raised an amused eyebrow and looked away to hide his smile before answering in a dry voice.
“No, I don’t.” Win shook his head in amusement while chuckling before proceeding to his underwear drawer and pulling out a pair of black boxers. He crouched to put it on without removing the towel wrapped around his waist. Light can’t help but look in awe at Win’s blatant display of his body in front of him. He then heard a loud giggle and realized that Win had caught him checking out his almost naked body. Win’s teasing comment followed.
“Yes, you do! You grumpy angel!” The comment was followed by a wink and if Light had a physical body, he would probably be blushing furiously by now. He tried to hide his embarrassment with a snarky retort.
“I told you a hundred times, I am not an angel!” Win remained unfazed by Light’s brooding mood and kept smiling as he put on his slacks. He glanced back at Light who remained to look out the window. Win shook his head in amusement as he stood straight to button his pants properly. He spoke without looking at Light.
“Then maybe you are a devil that would take my soul to hell?” It was a question that caught Light’s attention and he looked at Win with an eyebrow raised and an intense glare in his haunting eyes.
“What if I am?” Light said with a challenge in his voice and Win didn’t even look up from buttoning his shirt but he was able to fire back a smart retort.
“Be my guest then. I would go with you to the ends of the Earth, Light!” Light scoffed at Win who was surveying his looks in a full-sized mirror placed in a corner of the room. This guy is quite the looker. He is a veterinarian but you would mistake him for a model with those broad shoulders and narrow waist. Light shook his head to clear his thoughts and at that moment, Charlotte, a small dog bounded towards Win from his little sleeping pillow placed in a quiet corner of the room. Win picked the mutt up with a flourish and started scratching the back of its ears. Light stood up from the sofa and went closer to Win before giving the latter’s broad back a gentle push.
“Stop being so dramatic and go to work, you stubborn bunny!” Win grinned and laid Charlotte into Light’s arms. Yes, Light can hold Charlotte too, maybe because Charlotte can also see him. It’s a good thing Light is particularly fond of animals. Win picked up his big leather satchel and started for the door but suddenly turned back towards Light. Light was surprised when Win planted a quick kiss on his left cheek.
“Don’t miss me too much!” Win winked at him and Light knew that if he had a material body, he would be blushing furiously right now. Light just rolled his eyes in mock irritation as Win sashayed towards the door, still humming his favorite tune.
“I won’t!” Light called out. Then Win started before quickly running back to the bed where he retrieved his cell phone where he plugged it earlier. Light smiled in amusement at how forgetful Win can be.
“Please mind Charlotte for me.” Win placed a gentle hand in the small of Light’s back and the contact was fleeting yet so distinct that Light almost had goosebumps. He tried to mask his nervousness with an indifferent smirk.
“No need to remind me, Win. I know my job.” Satisfied, Win winked at Light and beamed at him before heading towards the doorway and finally leaving the room.
Light sighed in relief as Win closed the door to the condo. It was useless since he could pass through walls and travel unseen. But with Win, all the laws of his existence seemed inapplicable. Light can still remember their first meeting.
“Huwaaaaaa!”
Light flinched visibly at the reaction from the person who had just woken up and was lying disheveled atop a massive bed. That person pointed a finger at Light like he was a normal being.
“Who are you and what are you doing here?” He kind of looks cute like that, all rumpled and straight out of bed. Light thought before remembering that this man could see him, unlike the others.
“You can see me?” Light pointed to himself to make sure that the person was talking to him.
“Of course, I can, you pervert!” At that, a pillow sailed across the room and went straight through Light. Win’s eyes popped larger when he saw what happened. He threw another pillow. And another. But none of those touched a hair from Light’s head as they all went through him like Light was just a hologram and not standing in Win’s room while looking at him with confusion in his eyes.
“How can you see me?” Light asked Win who was looking at him with the same befuddled expression.
“Do you think I’m blind? But why did those pillows go through you? Are you an angel? Am I dead? Is this a dream?” Win suddenly pinched his arm hard and was stung by the pain. “Ouch, so this is not a dream. Am I dead? Are you the Grim Reaper?”
“Woah! Slow down, bunny! I may not be an angel but I am also not a Grim Reaper. I don’t even know what I am.” Light let the words tumble out of his mouth simultaneously but Win’s crescent eyes suddenly narrowed at him.
“What did you just call me?” Light was dumbstruck as he tried to remember what words he vomited just a few moments ago.
“Uhm, bunny?” With that confirmation, another pillow sailed past Light but it ended up touching nothing but thin air, just like the others before it. Win tapped his fist against his bare chest for emphasis before speaking.
“My name is Gawin. How dare you treat me like your pet!” Win scrambled to get off the bed, his long legs hopelessly tangled with the sheets and Light caught an eyeful of smooth, firm flesh before realizing that he was gawking and he needed to respond to the man’s outburst.
“What should I call you, then?” Light said coldly, voice impressively devoid of any emotion.
“Why are you even here? And inside my bedroom of all places!” Win was still trying to disentangle himself from the sheets and was inadvertently showing a lot of skin considering how scantily clad he was. Light tried to focus on his answer by looking away from the distracting spectacle happening in front of him. Damn, how can someone be so attractive without even trying to be? Light thought absently before answering Win’s question.
“I don’t know. I was just walking idly and then I saw a bright light. I followed it and I ended up in this room, only to see you sleeping in just your boxers.” Light showed his palm to Win nonchalantly to emphasize the latter’s inappropriate appearance.
“Fuck you!” Win spat out furiously as he now used both of his hands to disentangle himself from the twisted sheets. How did he get himself this tangled up anyway? Win thought absently without looking at the other entity in the room. Clad in black from head to toe, the other entity looked imposing enough but Win was just too angry and flustered to care as he cursed repeatedly to no one in particular as the fabric refused to cooperate with him. “Fuck you whatever you are, asshole!” Win ranted venomously as he finally succeeded in untangling himself from the sheets. Uttering a sigh of relief, Light wasn’t about to let Win celebrate anything yet with another snarky remark.
“Sorry, but you can’t. You can’t even touch me.” With the fire that suddenly smoldered in Win’s chinky eyes, Light realized that he made a terrible mistake after the words left his mouth.
“I will die trying.” At that, Win launched himself into the strange man, half-expecting to crash straight into the wall. But he was more surprised when he knocked the stranger down with his weight. The action ended with Win straddling the stranger who was wearing an equally shocked expression on his handsome face.
“How did you—“ Light began but suddenly felt embarrassed at the proximity of Win’s face and their compromising position. “Get off me, you big oaf!” Seeing Light’s flustered expression, it was Win’s turn to smirk in triumph before arching an eyebrow and peering closely into the other entity’s face.
“I thought I was a bunny.” Light clenched his jaw in a mixture of embarrassment and excitement at the closeness of their faces. He was sure that if his nose was functioning, he would be able to smell the other man’s breath with how close they were to each other. He tried to push the other man off of him while trying to keep the panic from his voice.
“Yes, you are a humongous bunny, now get off of me!” Light said through gritted teeth but Win just planted both his hands firmly on both sides of Light’s head as he gazed deeper into the entity’s face. Oh, so he’s cute up close. No, not cute but handsome as hell, or heaven, whatever he may be. Win thought absently before speaking in a voice that is both coy and masculine.
“Not until you tell me your name.” Win whispered huskily into the other entity’s ear. Light almost shivered but remembered that he did not have a material body to be affected by the other man’s ministrations. He cleared his throat and said something in a somewhat shaky voice while he futilely tried to push the other man off of him.
“Why do you want to know?” Win just looked straight into Light’s eye, seeming to read his thoughts before smiling in a half-mocking way and speaking through his teeth for emphasis.
“Because you are in my bedroom right now. I do not bring strangers to my bedroom.” Those last words held enough innuendo to fluster Light who scrambled to come out with a respectable response.
“You did not bring me here. I went here by myself.” Light said through gritted teeth. Win was heavy and muscular and Light was having a hard time keeping the other man from crushing him completely so he was relieved when Win heaved himself off of him. Light sat up and brushed off his coat in an attempt to rid himself of any dirt that he might have picked up from the floor. Win stood up and Light couldn’t help but look up at the well-built man clad only in boxers, his chest sculpted and his biceps corded. Win is also sporting six-pack abs and a prominent bulge in his boxer.
Win followed Light’s line of sight and quickly used both of his hands to cover his crotch.
“What are you looking at, you pervert?” Light smirked in amusement at the sudden rise of color in the other man’s prominent cheekbones. Ohhh, so two can play this game? Light put on his most innocent expression which his Bambi eyes always managed to pull through convincingly in the past.
“It was in the level of my eyes.” Win planted both of his hands at the sides of his narrow waist, his challenging stance exposing the wide breadth of his muscled chest and defined abs. Light tried his best to not follow the trail of dark hair starting from the belly button and disappearing under the garter of the boxers so he lowered his gaze. The other man clicked his tongue in annoyance at what he perceived to be stubbornness on the other entity’s part.
“Then get up so you can look me in the eyes instead,” Win said in his most authoritative voice even if he was starting to feel vulnerable standing up to the other entity in just his boxers.
Light started to get up and drew himself to his full height. He noticed that he was just a couple of inches shorter than Win and he smirked at the little color in the other man’s cheeks.
“What are you smiling at?” Win asked pointedly and Light just crossed his arms across his chest and cocked his head to one side before answering with a smirk.
“Light.” Win furrowed his brows in confusion and started to scratch the back of his nape as he looked around the room.
“But it’s still dark in here. It’s still night so—“ Light closed his eyes to keep himself from seeing Win’s adorably clueless expression. He smiled to himself before opening his eyes and looking at the other man with amusement gleaming in his eyes.
“My name. It’s Light.” Win nodded his head in understanding while his lips rounded into a pout. Cute bunny, Light thought absently before Win rolled his eyes and looked at Light in an annoyed glare.
“I think Dark would suit you better, you can call me Win.” Win extended his hand towards Light in a friendlier manner this time. Light accepted the handshake and marveled at the warmth of Win’s palm pressing against his non-existent skin.
“Do you always win, Win?” Light gently squeezed Win’s hand, both amazed and grateful to be feeling another person’s warmth fill the emptiness that he had experienced ever since he woke up in this current state.
“Of course! I am born to win and I always win!” Win answered in his most confident and jovial manner, showing a good set of pearly whites behind plump, pink lips. Light is getting so distracted by Win’s adorable bunny teeth that he is not able to filter his words before he blurts them out.
“Well, you might want to put on some clothes first, Win.” Win made an annoying duck face before releasing Light’s hand and Light had to bite back the smile that threatened to come out. Win turned his back on Light to rummage through his closet. Without looking back at Light, Win launched his counter-attack.
“Why? Are you getting aroused at the sight of my gorgeous body?” Light almost choked on his non-existent saliva at the bold question but he managed to compose himself just in time before Win turned around and started to pull an oversized shirt over his head. The shirt was so big yet it only reached mid-thigh. This guy is quite tall, huh? Light thought absently before answering.
“I don’t have a body. I still can’t understand how you can touch me when I can easily pass through walls.” Light stepped back before leaning against a wall, arms folded across his chest. Win sat down on the bed, running a hand through his hair before scratching his nape while seemingly deep in thought. Win then snapped his fingers and pursed his lips together before jabbing his forefinger into the air to emphasize each word.
“Maybe you were meant to be touched by me and only me.” Win looked so smug in his declaration like he was able to discover the cure to all of humanity’s miseries and Light was not able to hide his amusement by chuckling lightly. Funny but I like how his laughter sounds. Win thought as he watched Light’s reaction. What Win did not expect was Light’s comeback.
“So, who is the pervert now?” Win just smiled sheepishly at that before raising both of his hands in surrender. Light just stood straight before moving noiselessly towards the couch and sitting on it in a relaxed manner, looking quite pleased with himself. Win planted his hands firmly against the soft mattress, seemingly anchoring himself to the bed before speaking in a sing-song voice.
“Just kidding.” Clearing his throat which was suddenly dry, Win clasped his hands together as if in prayer and placed them between his splayed legs. “So, Light. What do you do in life or in whatever state you are right now?” Light just looked at him with furrowed brows and Win feared that the other entity might not answer so he lowered his head to look at his intertwined fingers. Then he heard Light sigh before speaking in an even and calculated tone.
“I wander. I used to have a body but I got into a terrible accident and I don’t know what I need to do to get back to my body and to my life before. Not that I would want to go back anyway.” Win’s eyebrows raised at that last sentiment.
“Why?” Light shrugged his shoulders indifferently before leaning back against the sofa and looking up at the ceiling. He spoke in a broken whisper that was so soft that Win had to strain to hear the words.
“I really don’t have a life, you know. So I think it would be better to stay like this forever. I can go anywhere I want to without people bugging me.” Light threw a disdainful look at Win who flinched at the intensity of the former’s gaze. “Until you, of course.”
Curiosity flared up within Win as he leaned forward with his full attention on this entity clad all in black and looking forlorn. Maybe he is a soul trapped in between worlds. Win thought, remembering the one too many books about metaphysics that he used to read during his free time. He found the topic of different parallel dimensions co-existing in one time-space continuum very intriguing. Weighing his words carefully, he decided that he wanted to know more about this handsome nocturnal visitor of his.
“What are you before the…accident?” Light rested his elbow on the arm of the couch then scratched the outer tip of his right eyebrow as he furrowed his brows to formulate his answer. Then he looked at Win in that intense gaze of his and Win felt his insides knot in anticipation. Damn! Why does he stare at me like that?
“I think I played football…my memory is a bit sketchy and I tend to forget a lot of things about my life.” Light rubbed his chin thoughtfully as if the movement would bring some forgotten pieces of the past to the surface of his consciousness.
“Football?” Win knew nothing about the sport. He was a golf enthusiast but knew zero about football and other ball sports. No wonder Light didn’t look familiar.
“Yes, I can remember I used to play for the Mountain Knights but since I got into an accident, I might be replaced from my starting position. How about you?” Win shrugged his shoulders indifferently while making a cute duck face. Why does he keep making that face? Doesn’t he know that he looks so fucking fluffy when he does that? Light thought while maintaining a neutral expression.
“Uhm, I’m just a vet. Nothing special with my life.” When Win smiled graciously, Light felt a certain warm presence around him. His smile… It’s so radiant. Like the rays of the sun in the early morning. Maintaining his emotionless façade, Light could not help but comment on his observation.
“But you look happy. As in really happy.” Win looked at Light and saw that the entity was scrutinizing his every mode. He suddenly felt nervous and ran a shaky hand against his messy brown locks before replying in the evenest tone he could manage.
“Well, why wouldn’t I be? Life’s good.” Light looked around the condo. Win seems to be well-off despite working as a government veterinarian. Light saw the familiar logo of a certain municipality in a large leather satchel bag that he presumed to contain Win’s various instruments in practicing his profession. Win may not even need the money he is earning as a state veterinarian since the furnishings in his condo seemed too fancy to be inexpensive.
“Have you never felt sad in your entire life?” Light’s question came out of nowhere and both of them looked up at the same time, their eyes meeting at the last moment. Win was the first one to look away, a faint blush tinting his prominent cheekbones, and Light smiled inwardly at the adorable sight. Win exhaled harshly before answering.
“Well, we all do. But I choose to not dwell on the sad parts.” Win stood up from the bed and walked towards the glass window, the sight of the glittering cityscape greeted him as he pushed the window open, inhaling the crisp night breeze that gently ruffled his unruly hair. Light just sat there, mesmerized by the sight of Win bathed in the golden glow of city lights and being caressed by the cool night wind. Light felt a pang of envy at how peaceful Win looked at that moment. The words were out before Light had the opportunity to organize his thoughts.
“Easy for you to say. You haven’t lived in the real world at all.” The words were like an accusation that stung and Win flinched in the direct attack. Without taking his eyes away from the gorgeous scenery before him, Win let out an offended tone in response.
“Excuse me, I am not a celebrity like you. I think I am more attuned to the real world than you are.” Light felt the weight of the words but did not dare contradict them.
“Maybe. I envy you.” The words dripped with honesty and Win felt a slight tug at his heartstrings.
“Why?” How can a successful athlete be unhappy with everything he was able to achieve? Win thought after voicing out that single word. Light’s answer was short but laced with bitterness.
“I think I have never been that happy ever in my life.” Win turned his back on the open window to face Light, trying to see the entity’s face in the golden glow of the city lights beyond the window.
“Happiness is a choice, Light.” Light’s figure was shrouded in shadows and he is like a black hole that absorbs all the light into the nothingness within him. Win felt drawn to this mysterious entity even if he could feel the aura of darkness permeating from this being.
“Don’t tell me I chose to be sad all the time,” Light answered in a bored tone. In his mind, he knew that he wanted to be where he currently is. He knew that he worked hard for all the opportunities that came his way. And despite all his achievements, there was a hollow void inside of him that seemed impossible to fill even when he was still up and about in the real world.
“Maybe you just haven’t found the reason to be happy yet.” Win declared in a chipper tone, plopping back into the bed so that he was on the same level as Light. He beamed at the entity with his sweetest smile and Light found himself smiling back a little before answering.
“Maybe. Have you?” Win bit his lower lip before nodding his head contemplatively and looking away from Light’s pointed stare. He has this uneasy feeling that Light can read what is on his mind or even in his heart. He is both thrilled and scared of the idea.
“Maybe.”
“Are you just going to stand there?” Light looked up and locked eyes with Win who was eating breakfast at the moment. Light just crossed his arms and leaned against the wall while arching a perfect eyebrow. It was a Sunday so Win did not need to go to the clinic early for a change. Spread out on the table was food good enough for two people. It was their first weekend together so Light had prepared his explanation in advance.
“I don’t eat. I don’t need to.” Win rolled his eyes in annoyance and mumbled a poor imitation of how Light said those words. In his mind, he was annoyed at Light for not telling him earlier. It could have saved him the effort of cooking up a meal for two. Not that he can’t finish all of that food by himself, but still he wanted Light to acknowledge his efforts since he did not do these things to just anyone.
“Just sit beside me so I don’t feel awkward,” Win said almost to himself while jabbing a fork into a sunny-side-up egg yolk causing the runny yellow liquid to flow and merge with the steaming rice. Light heard his words loud and clear because he had superhuman senses.
“Beside you?” Win continued mixing the rice with the runny egg yolk while Light just looked on, amazed at how Win could wolf down a lot of food and stay fit and ripped. To think that Win only went to the gym once every week. Light tried following him once but did not do it again because he was freaked out by the mirrors surrounding the place. As a supernatural being, mirrors can be a window to different places. That was how Light traveled while in this bodiless state, he entered people’s houses through mirrors. This was also how he found Win.
Light was lost in his thought when Win spoke while tossing his salad.
“Where do you want to sit? On my lap?” Win winked at Light mischievously and Light fought the urge to clap the other man at the back of his head. He planted both his palms at the side of the table directly opposite Win and the other man looked up at him in puzzlement.
“You know, you sound so cocky for a veterinarian.” Light emphasized the word “cocky” by raising an eyebrow as he pronounced the word slowly, allowing the double entendre to sink in before smirking and taking his seat opposite Win. Win looked unaffected as he took a sip from his coffee mug before mumbling out an almost incoherent response.
“Well, I do look at cocks sometimes.” Of course, Light heard it loud and clear and he shot an accusing look at Win who did not even look up from munching at the crispy greens from his fresh salad.
“What?” At Light’s slightly raised tone, Win looked up and met Light’s narrowed eyes with a calm gaze. He made an effort to swallow his food first before replying nonchalantly while stabbing his fork into the air to emphasize each term.
“Cocks, the male chicken, the rooster, what were you thinking?” Light looked at Win’s seemingly innocent face with narrowed eyes. The veterinarian has that annoying yet endearing habit of twisting Light’s words to launch a funny or shady comeback. But Light was not one to roll over without giving a good fight. Athlete habits die hard and in his most innocent expression, Light cupped his chin with his palm while his elbow rested at the surface of the table. In this position, he can stare straight into Win’s eyes and torment the latter with his expressive eyes before delivering his formulated retort.
“Nothing. I just didn’t think that you would swing that way.” Light punctuated the sentence with an eyebrow raise and a very obvious appraisal of Win’s body from his chest up. Win on the other hand has gotten used to this habit of Light to rile him up so he just chuckled softly and met the other’s gaze head-on.
“I also did not think so. Guess I was wrong.” Light suddenly choked on his nonexistent saliva and sputtered to speak while Win made a good show of chewing his food seductively.
“What are you saying?” Light’s expression was priceless, his eyebrows scrunched up in a mix of surprise and disbelief. Win was unperturbed and kept on chewing his food slowly before finally swallowing it and turning to look at Light anew with a dangerous glint in his eyes.
“That I might like guys?” The words were innocent-sounding enough but Light was aware of the weight those words held. He braced himself for the direction he knew this conversation was heading to.
“Why? What makes you think that?” Light asked evenly, looking Win directly in the eye, daring him to crack another joke at his expense. He did not expect the next words that came out of Win’s mouth.
“I like you, Light. Like a lot.” Light scoffed initially thinking that Win was toying with him but as he saw the flash of hurt in Win’s face at his reaction, he sighed deeply before looking away. His next words were cold and almost clinical.
“I’m not even human. Not anymore.” Win just shrugged the words off before stabbing a strip of bacon with his fork. He did not look at Light when he spoke.
“Well, you used to be. You can still go back to your life, you know?” He then placed the strip of bacon into his mouth and looked at Light pointedly as he chewed on the strip of meat. Light’s curt reply was like a stab to Win’s heart.
“Not sure I want to.” Win’s voice was terse when he spoke.
“Why not?” Win’s glassy eyes looked at Light. The unspoken words hung heavy between them
“Nothing out there to go back to.” What about me? Win wanted to shout back at Light but chose to reword his thoughts carefully. The unfinished meal suddenly looked less appetizing compared to earlier.
“You can find me when you go back.” Win’s voice held hope and despair at the same time and Light had to look away from Win’s intense gaze.
“I don’t even know if I can. What if I’m dead already?” There was a loud thud as Win planted his palm loudly atop the dining table. The utensils clattered noisily as some pieces of food were dislodged from their plates. Win’s voice was cracking now, full of emotions he did not know he harbored until now.
“Then you wouldn’t be here anymore, you would have crossed over to the other side.” Light felt a stab of guilt. Don’t do this, Win. Don’t make things more complicated than it already is. Light thought before replying in an icy tone.
“What if I am doomed to be a ghost forever?” Win felt the first tear squeeze from between his eyelids. Why am I crying? Why am I getting so worked up over the possibility of Light leaving? We’ve only been together for a couple of days, for Christ’s sake! Get a hold of yourself, Win! Win inwardly berated himself for feeling things that he thought were impossible to have bloomed in such a short period. His voice was terse and strained when he replied.
“It’s okay, just haunt me forever. I could use the company.” Win smiled sadly and Light felt the agony deep in his soul. How could I have grown so attached to this person in just a couple of days? How was Win able to make me feel like this in such a short period? Why does the thought of leaving him seem to tear my soul in half? Struggling to keep his tone as emotionless as possible, Light peered deep into the other man’s tear-streaked face before speaking in an even yet harsh tone.
“Do you enjoy someone always watching over you? Are you not freaked out by that?” Win didn’t even flinch in the face of that harshness.
“Not if it’s you.” Win snapped back, rubbing his eyes to hide the continuous onslaught of tears.
“Are you always this straightforward to guys you meet?” Light continued his line of questioning. He wanted Win to hate him right then and there so it would be easier to leave. The idea pained him but he did not want to hurt Win further by leading him on.
“I told you. I’m only like this with you.” Win answered exasperated and head bowed in sorrow. Light buried his face in his palms to gather his thoughts better before speaking again.
“We’ve only been together for days, Win. What would happen to you when I’m gone?” Win did not miss the concern hidden behind those seemingly patronizing words but he didn’t answer immediately. For a moment there, only Win’s soft sniffs could be heard before he decided to break the impasse.
“I don’t know. All I know is I’m happy when you are here.” Win looked at Light who slowly stood up from his seat and returned to his previous corner, leaning back into the wall with both his arms crossed atop his chest. Light looked away from Win before speaking.
“I’m also happy to be here, Win. But I don’t know what will happen to me in the future. I don’t want you to get used to me being here because I can’t promise you anything.” Win was still sobbing silently but he frantically tried to wipe his tears with the heel of his palm. He spoke with his voice hushed and his head bowed down, as if in defeat.
“I’m not asking for anything in return, Light. I just want you to be happy when you are with me.” Light clenched his fist to stem the emotions wrapping around him. Win’s emotions seem to be affecting him too as he can feel the overwhelming sadness saturating the air around them. He shook his head to clear his thoughts before speaking in a kind and gentle tone.
“I am happy, Win. But I’m worried about you when I leave.” At those words, Win looked up and met Light’s gaze from across the room. His answer was soft and pleading.
“Would you want to?” Light drew himself up to his full height before speaking in a voice that left no room for doubt.
“No, but do I have a choice?”
Win stood up with a forlorn expression and approached Light who was looking at him with a pensive expression. Wordlessly, Win drew Light to him in a hug, placing his chin in the crook of Light’s shoulder Light obliged the other by wrapping his arms around the other’s narrow waist as Win rubbed Light’s back fondly before whispering brokenly.
“I wish you did.” Light responded by holding Win a little bit closer and burying his nose in the latter’s shoulder trying to memorize how Win’s warmth felt so that when the time comes, he will have something to look back to.
It has been months since Light appeared in Win’s life and even if Light cannot go to Win’s place of work since the animals easily get spooked by Light’s presence, he has been a steady presence for the jolly young veterinarian. He has witnessed Win’s volatile moods yet admired how he has managed to snap out of bad days easily. Light is a moody and introverted person when he was still alive and it takes him days to recover from bad moods while Win does it in just minutes. Light would sometimes ponder what Win would be like as a friend when he gets back to his body but he chooses to not raise his hopes too high.
Win opened the door feeling a bit more exhausted than usual. He saw Light in his usual place near the window, looking at the sprawling urban landscape. Maybe he misses home. Win thought as he took off his white coat and hung it in a peg near the door. Light seemed deep in thought and did not even look at Win who took off his shoes and placed them in a shoe rack near the doorway. Charlotte looked up expectantly and immediately bounded towards Win. Win picked up the mutt and scratched the back of its’ ears.
“Win?” Light said without looking at the other man, his gaze still focused on the horizon beyond the windows.
“Light?” Win said as he started to unbutton his light pink button-down shirt he padded barefoot across the room to open his closet. He took out a pair of comfortable house shorts and an oversized shirt then laid them atop the bed as he continued to unbutton his shirt.
“How was your day?” Light turned his back from the window and faced Win. A sudden feeling of foreboding came over Win as he saw Light practically glow golden from the reflection of the city lights outside. He stopped unbuttoning his shirt leaving just the two lower buttons holding the shirt together.
“The usual, you?” Light eyed the smooth swathe of skin exposed beneath the unbuttoned part of the shirt and willed himself to look away. Recently, he has been having these unfamiliar feelings whenever he sees Win’s supple flesh. His instinct warned him that this may be leading to the path to the inevitable.
“Boring.”
Win padded barefoot across the room to go near Light who stood with his arms crossed and leaning against the wall. But when Win tried to pull Light to him, his fingers only met thin air. Panic suddenly froze Win as his frantic stare locked with Light’s equally surprised eyes. Win tried again but nothing happened. He can’t hold Light anymore?
“Light? What happened to you?” Light looked at Win with the same bewildered expression.
“I don’t know. I just felt homesick all of a sudden.” The wheels in Light’s head were turning rapidly, piecing the puzzle pieces together. The unfamiliar feelings. The sudden homesickness. The feeling of weightlessness. Win voiced out Light’s unspoken conclusion.
“Are you leaving me now, Light?” Light’s voice was laced with denial and fear when he spoke.
“Why would you say that?” A sob welled out from Win’s throat and before he knew it, tears were running down his face unabated. Win spoke in a voice full of frustration and panic.
“I can’t hold you anymore. Meaning, whatever magic that held you to my side for the past few months is gone now.” Everything was clicking into place inside Win’s head. He noticed how Light seemed to glow differently tonight. It was like he had all the darkness inside of him gradually dispelled during the few months that they were together.
“What could that mean?” Light asked in genuine confusion while his mind still tried to comprehend what was happening.
“How would I know?” Win’s voice was already laced with anger and panic. What should I do? What can I do? Oh God, not now, please! Not when I am this close to telling him how I really feel.
“Does that mean that I am crossing over?” Win’s lower lip started to tremble as a new series of sobs started to wrack his being. Win just hugged himself tightly, seeking warmth from his own arms since he could not hold Light anymore.
“Are you going to die now, Light?” Light moved closer to Win’s huddled form and tried to hold the other man but his arms just ended up going through Win’s body. The realization hit him hard like a punch in the gut and Light tried to speak in the gentlest manner he could so as not to hurt Win more.
“I must have been dead for months now.” Win shot Light an accusing look. Don’t you dare do this to me, Light! Don’t you dare leave me like this! Win thought desperately as he tried to compose himself despite feeling an amalgamation of emotions building up inside him.
“But why leave just now?” Light shook his head sorrowfully.
“I don’t know, Win. I’m just going with the flow, with whatever feels right for me.”
Light looked at his hands and noticed that he could not see his own body anymore. He is slowly dissolving into nothingness. He shot a frantic look at Win who started sobbing loudly now while falling to his knees. He tried to hug Win but his hands just went through the other man’s body. Light felt fear constrict his presence and he tried to look for anything around him to ground him to reality but he failed to find any. His vision started to blur as Win’s sobs and Charlotte’s frantic barking echoed in his ears.
“Win!”
“Light, please don’t leave me.” Win sobbed at Light’s dissolving image in front of him. He seemed to be transforming into a grey cloud of smoke and Win tried helplessly to understand what was going on. Is Light going to cross over to the other side now? What can he do to stop it? Win wept even more bitterly with the realization that he was powerless to do anything about what was happening. He just watched helplessly as the grey smoke gradually dissipated leaving nothing in its wake.
Charlotte ran towards Win and Win hugged the mutt tightly to his chest while still sobbing in despair. He looked at the ceiling with pleading eyes, seemingly asking for guidance from an unseen entity.
“Why? I have tried everything to do good for everybody. Why take away the only person I’ve wanted for myself?” Win clutched at his pet dog like it was his lifeline while sobbing desperately. “This was the first time I wanted someone to stay with me forever, why can’t you just give him to me? Why? What have I done wrong? Was I wrong to fall in love with an entity that wasn’t even breathing?” Win talked loudly to no one in particular but his voice was full of all the emotions that he was feeling at the moment.
Not even bothering to change into house clothes, Win curled up in a fetal position on the floor and wept bitterly until sleep claimed him, unmindful of Charlotte’s whimpers as the dog pitifully licked the tears from her master’s face.
“I love you, Light and I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”
Two months passed by like a blur and Win was able to gently ease back into his usual routine albeit he felt less energetic than when Light was still with him. But he was holding up quite well since he has always been good at recovering quickly from low points in his life. His family initially volunteered to accompany him to his condo but he declined their gracious offers. He did not want to impose on them and he has always been used to living alone. Although he greatly misses Light’s company, he is thriving beautifully with only Charlotte to keep him company during his lonely nights.
Win sighed in relief as his last patient for the day took their leave, the door chimes ringing as the door closed. Removing the stethoscope from his neck, Win gently massaged the muscles on his neck before glancing at Charlotte who lay sleeping in a corner of the clinic. It’s unusually humid today, maybe it will rain hard later this evening, Win thought as he glanced at his wristwatch before deciding to finish some paperwork while waiting for the alarm to signal the closing of another busy day in the clinic. He took out some files from the drawer and started scribbling on some pieces of paper before his phone sounded off.
Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?
Ooh, heaven is a place on earth
They say in heaven love comes first
We’ll make heaven a place on earth
Win has kept his alarm ringtone unchanged throughout his ordeal of missing Light. The song gave him hope that Light might have finally found the place where he was supposed to be. It gave him a feeling of contentment that Light is finally at peace wherever he may be. Even if he misses the grumpy soul terribly, Win is consoled by the fact that Light is finally home where he really belongs and he still clings to the hope that in either this life or the next, they will see each other again.
When you walk into the room
You pull me close and we start to move
Charlotte’s ears suddenly perked up and started barking excitedly with his tail wagging furiously behind him. Win furrowed his brows in confusion as he looked at the dog who was facing the doorway. He craned his neck but failed to see anybody outside so he just shrugged his shoulder and continued what he was writing. He did not turn off his alarm as the song still brings him comfort even after all this time.
When I feel alone
I reach for you and you bring me home
When I’m lost at sea
I hear your voice and it carries me
The door chime rang and without lifting his head to look at the person who entered, Win spoke in a polite but firm tone.
“I’m sorry but we are closed for the day unless it’s an emergency can you please come back tomorrow morning?” Win suddenly froze when the person answered back in a cool yet familiar voice.
In this world, we’re just beginning
To understand the miracle of living
Baby, I was afraid before
But I’m not afraid anymore
“No consideration even for an old friend?” Win looked up so fast that he nearly suffered from whiplash. There were that familiar smirk and Bambi eyes, the handsomely unruly hair, and prominent cheekbones. He was standing at the doorway, holding a bouquet of white tulips that seemed to be picked from Heaven’s garden at the very least. He donned a simple light yellow button-up shirt with two top buttons undone and light grey slacks that highlighted his long legs, narrow waist, and full hips. Win has gotten used to seeing Light dressed in just plain black clothing and seeing him in light-colored clothing was such a fresh sight to behold that Win couldn’t help but stare.
Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?
Ooh, heaven is a place on earth
When Win didn’t move from his position behind the desk, Light let out an amused chuckle and quickly moved forward toward him. Suddenly Charlotte bounded towards Light and barked energetically at him with her tail wildly wagging behind her.
“Oh, how’s my little girl? Did you miss me? Did your Daddy miss me?” After listening to Charlotte’s enthusiastic barks, Light smiled mischievously. “Oh, he did? He cried himself to sleep every night? What a baby!” Win’s eyes grew wide in surprise and embarrassment at those words and he suddenly found his voice to speak frantically.
“Hey! Are you a dog whisperer now? What else did Charlotte say to you?” Light let out an amused smirk as he continued to scratch Charlotte behind the ears, the action seemed to please the mutt.
“Nah, I did not understand anything. I’m just joking. But I am now an ambassador for the National Animal Welfare Protection Society, haven’t you been watching the news?”
Win was flabbergasted. Yes, he hasn’t watched the news ever since Light disappeared. He did not want to hear any news about a famous football player finally succumbing to his injuries after being comatose for months. In his denial of reality, he was not aware of anything at all.
They say in heaven love comes first
We’ll make heaven a place on earth
“No, what happened really?”
“Well, it turned out that it wasn’t my time to leave yet and I still need to do more good things in my life considering all the good things that have been coming my way. It turned out that I was looking at the wrong places for my happiness.”
At that, Win finally let out a relieved breath and started sobbing. Light got alarmed so he put Charlotte down and quickly rounded the table to draw Win into his arms.
“Hey, bunny! Why are you crying? Sorry if I was not able to find you much sooner, I had to go through therapy for my injuries and it took longer than expected. I wanted to come to look for you as soon as I woke up but they wouldn’t allow me to unless I am fully recovered. So, I’m sorry for not going back to you fast enough.” As Light explained his side, Win just continued to sob unabashedly into Light’s arms, not caring if he was drenching Light’s chest which was slightly exposed because of the undone top buttons of his shirt. Light felt warm and smelled like sunshine and roses. Win lightly pounded on Light’s chest with his clenched fists before speaking in between sobs.
“I thought you had gone to heaven already!” Light chuckled at that before gently pulling Win away from him so he can look into those chinky eyes that almost disappear whenever Win laughs. Win’s lips gently parted unconsciously as he stared at the familiar face he sorely missed for the last couple of months. His gaze was drawn to Light’s cupid bow lips when the latter spoke in the gentlest of tones.
“I told you I’m not an angel. Besides, I can’t find the way to Heaven.” Win’s bottom lip trembled slightly with the emotion that he was trying so hard to hold back. Nevertheless, he was able to squeak out a single word in response.
“Why?” A sexy glint suddenly sparked in Light’s eyes and Win almost held his breath in the intensity of the gaze that seemed to pierce through his soul. Light leaned closer until their noses were touching before speaking in a silken tone.
“Because as your favorite song reminded me of, Heaven is where you are.” With those words, Light closed the distance between them and claimed Win’s lips in a sweet, languid kiss. It was short but sweet and Light smirked at the disappointment that crossed Win’s tear-streaked face when he broke the kiss.
“Is that all? I cried myself to sleep for months and that is all mpff!—“ Win wasn’t able to finish his sentence when Light swooped down into his lips once more, claiming his mouth in a hot fiery tangle of tongues and clashes of teeth. It was a messy, sloppy kiss but it just served to heighten the anticipation building up in both their bodies. They were both breathless when their lips parted and Light looked at Win with slightly hooded eyes. Win gulped audibly at the intensity of the desire visible in those gorgeous orbs. Light’s voice was husky when he spoke again.
“Sorry for not telling you earlier but I love you, Win.” Win felt his heart swell with too much emotion and his voice was strained as he answered back.
“I love you too, Light,” Light smirked knowingly and Win furrowed his brow in confusion at the former’s reaction. Then Light smiled before speaking in a hushed tone.
“I know.” At Win’s wide-eyed reaction, Light added. “I heard you say it that day when I left you. You cannot see me anymore then but I can still hear you. And I felt so bad not being able to say the words back. So I wanted to make it up to you.”
“How?” Win arched a well-shaped brow as he asked the question in the most playful manner he could think of. Light smirked in amusement before leaning close until there was just a hair’s breadth between their lips before whispering seductively.
“Will you let me take you to Heaven, my naughty bunny?” Win was drowning in those dark brown pools in Light’s eyes and as he wrapped both his arms around Light’s neck he whispered against Light’s parted lips.
“Lead the way, my grumpy angel.” As their lips connected once more, a loud crash of thunder sounded from overhead as the rain started to fall in torrents, drowning the surroundings in a symphony of pitter-patters punctuated by the occasional thunderclaps. But for the two souls currently intertwined into each other, that moment couldn’t have been more perfect as the last lines of the song continued to blare from the neglected cell phone, and Charlotte cozily snuggled into her warm place in this little piece of Heaven on Earth.
Ooh, heaven is a place on earth
Heaven is a place on earth
