Untitled chapter
This is a short story, and I mean a proper SHORT story.
This a brief tale in the life of Peter. Peter suffers from depression. He is constantly feeling guilty about his affliction being that he had a good upbringing, has lovely parents and has never really experienced grief. Peter was a support worker, the hours were long and the job was tough, but Peter thought if he could give back to the community and help others that needed it then maybe the feeling of guilt would disappear.
Peter was sick of mentioning the word “depression” to people who asked about his life. His best friend was Ned. Ned lived a stone’s throw away from Peter, they could see each other from their bedroom windows, even if it was just to give a thumbs up! Ned lived with his elderly grandmother. Ned matured at an early age after the loss of his father and upon hearing his grandmother was not long for this world he volunteered to move into her house and be her official carer.
Peter and Ned first struck up a conversation while taking out the recycling. Ned noticed that Peter was wearing a Led Zeppellin t-shirt so naturally the conversation went from music, to artists, to movies and more. This would be the beginning of what would change not only his life, but his perspective on life.
A few facebook messages later the pair were beginning what looked liked a promising friendship. Peter would unload his thoughts and feelings about his depression and Ned would do his best to be a good listener and share his thoughts. They would talk online into the night often ending in one or both of them falling asleep at the keyboard. After many chat’s about movies they both realised they shared a love for J.M. Barrie’s Peter and Wendy. The idea of being a young boy in Neverland who could fly, always having fun with friends and never having to grow old, what more could anyone ask for.
After many messages and nights of sending eachother youtube clips and bonding, they both felt comfortable enough with eachother to start REALLY talking. Ned asked Peter “What does depression feel like for you?” Peter looked at Ned and was glad that he felt comfortable enough to ask such a personal question. Peter replied “it feels claustrophobic, brain claustra! It’s like one of those nightmares where you try to scream for help but no sound comes out.”
The look on Ned’s face was priceless as he nodded along to everything Peter said. “I know what you mean, It feels like being underwater and watching everything else happen around you, but no-one can hear you because you’re underwater. The pair of them smiled at eachother and for a moment, they both felt…..unburdened.
Ned suffered with agoraphobia, fear of open spaces and crowds of people . You would never see him out at the pub or bump into him at tesco’s because even having someone in his passenger car seat was enough to set his anxiety off. Peter and ~Ned decided to start a movie night on Wednesday’s in an effort to actually socialise with another human being. 37 minutes into Die Hard Ned began to cry. He was hiding it well but Peter could see the tears emersing from his crows feet.
“are you ok?” asked Peter. Ned wiped the tears from his eyes and put on a brave face followed with “It’s cool bro don’t worry!” Peter looked at Ned’s body language and there was something definitely wrong. Peter looked at Ned’s left hand which was resting on the arm of the sofa. The knuckle of his index finger was twitching. It was then that Peter noticed that Ned’s entire body language was being forced in an effort to look normal.
“You’re shaking aren’t you” Peter asked. “Eh, what ya on about?” Ned replied. “I’m not fucking stupid bro, something is wrong, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to but I know something is wrong!” “Damn” Ned said, “If It’s getting noticeable then I should probably come clean” Ned explained that his anxiety had gotten to such extremes that all it took was the sound of a car door slamming and then his heart would start pounding and his hands and legs would start trembling and shaking. “It’s embarrassing dude.” Ned said to Peter, “People look at me in the street when my hands start shaking and I can only assume that they must think I’m a drug addict or something.”
