NOTEBOOK ON LINE 3

“Sis, I’m leaving for school now,” closing the main entrance, he waved at his big sister, Chetana gesturing back to him, wishing for a good day, “See you later,” Chaitanya headed his way to school.

It was a bright particularly pleasant morning in Mansa, a beautiful city in the east with tranquility prevailing in every corner, filled with parks, supermarkets, arcades, plazas, cafes and amusement park, a typical place called a dreamland for a teenage or young couple.

The streets bustling with cacophony of urban life as the dawn broke, filled with men and women well-dressed driving their way to the office, shop-owners setting up their customary business, stream of students with backpacks in tow head to their schools, embarking on yet another day, while some playing rookies plotting their ways to skip the school to chill out in parks.

Chaitanya was waiting at line 3 for his friends, but his mind was lost in the thoughts of the girl who was like the angel from the heavens who came down to bestow her grace upon his loneliness. Though Chaitanya had the best buddies anyone could ever have. Yet there is an inevitable fate of the third member of any trio to get left out at some point, which left the third one in the middle of the bridge.

The same fate also knocked on Chaitanya’s doorsteps, despite sharing cherished moments, laughter, and attending school events and parties together, he eventually felt excluded by both of them at some points. He constantly thinks about the scenarios time after time, deepening a hole which aches his heart.

However, the void was slowly getting healed by a girl.

“She was as normal as I am, yet special to my soul. She moved to Mansa last year and it’s going to be about a whole year since we met, became friends, but I suppose her giving me attention made my silly heart fall for her grace. I couldn’t yet call it love but couldn’t forget the time she had spent with me while I felt alone in the trio.”

He was standing, and obliviously smiling while thinking of her.

“Hey buddy, look Reeva has come to pick you on a date,” putting their hands on Chaitanya’s shoulders, Amit and Maneesh gave a side smirk.

Hearing about Reeva brought Chaitanya jolted back to reality with a startle. She was the one whom he had begun to harbour feelings but couldn’t call it love even calling out her name stirred excitement within him.

Chaitanya unconsciously looked around for Reeva, but eventually realized both were pulling his leg. After that comprehension, with a dramatic display of the world only heard sound of a swing at both of them, “You-annoying-jerks!”

After a few couple of minutes in the metro, Maneesh was slowly rubbing his hands over a swell on his head, a mark because of their prank over Chaitanya.

“What are you doing dude?” with an ow Amit asked, experiencing the same pain, Chaitanya was in a martial art club in their school, still they insisted to fool around him.

Pushing up his glasses, emphasizing on his smart demeanor, Maneesh replied, “It’s called the gate control theory of pain, which suggests that the brain can only handle a certain number of stimuli at once, but introducing a new sensation can help to close the gate on the more intense pain signal. Also, it increases blood circulation to reduce the inflammation.”

They both turned their gaze on Chaitanya, sitting with his hands folded and cold shoulder, pretending to ignore, not to hear what they say.

With an exaggerated sigh, “You both chose to poke the lion willingly,” handling them his bottle, Chaitanya, “Here, it’s fruit juice…”

Passing the bottle, his instincts spotted a girl with jet-black hair and twinkling eyes, staring at them from apart. Her attire made her seem to be another student, probably of same age but from different school. Before he could share the gaze, she turned her eyes away.

Amit instantly grabbed the bottle before Chaitanya could realize. And it took a matter of mere 10 seconds for Chaitanya to receive his bottle back, empty.

Forgetting about the girl, groaning at Amit and Maneesh, Chaitanya, “Oh god, I wonder what I could do with your gluttony.”

The trio then burst into laughter in the symphony of the strengthening of their bond, making Chaitanya mull over the thoughts of the hole in his heart. He was convincing his mind over considering the negative thoughts about being left alone as a misconception. Friends are precious, he shouldn’t doubt over the probabilities of leaving him alone in the middle of the boat of delusion in river of emotions.

Just like a typical day of the class, Chaitanya sitting on his customary spot, the fourth seat from the front. Directly behind him, Amit settled with Maneesh behind him together, always side by side. Meanwhile, Reeva, the girl engrossed in conversation yet in she was in her books, sat with the girls on the seat right in front of Chaitanya.

“Hey pal, have you played the new game I recommended you?” Amit asked, jolting him back to reality, Chaitanya was continuously staring at Reeva, lost.

Clearing his throat, “Which one? Are you referring to— King’s Paradox?”

Interrupting their conversation, Maneesh said, “You guys should study, the exams are dancing over our head.”

It was some of the handful of months before their final school year’s exams could bear down on them in four months. Exams being on the horizon, the teacher intensified her focus on each student, particularly those at risk of failing, including Amit. On the other hand, Maneesh stood out as the prodigy in the trio, while Chaitanya maintained a more average academic standing.

After the classes were over, Chaitanya was stretching his arms after a tiering day at the school, Amit called him from behind, “Hey pal, Reeva needs a minute with you.”

Remembering the morning prank, with an infuriated rage, ready to give another chop on their mischievous heads, “Not-this-again-you-knuckleheads!” Swinging his arm, about to give a strong blow, Amit and Maneesh accepting their fates with a salute to the world stood for Chaitanya to hit them again, as they couldn’t escape.

Suddenly his arm stopped in mid-air, turning his sight to Reeva standing startled at him over his volcanic anger ready to burn Amit and Maneesh. Exhaling a deep breath to cool down his fury, realizing they weren’t playing with him once again, Chaitanya laid off, “You both got lucky this time.” Sharing his glances with Reeva, her presence melting down the anger, “So, is there something I can help you with?”

She was still in awe, yet her sublime face was making Chaitanya blush. He tried to kick out the Limerence— romanticizing thoughts and rush of emotions from his head to prevent the creation of the wall of emotions by heart which often result in embarrassment, infatuation, shyness, and extreme nervousness between them, eventually spoiling their friendship. It’s either confessing to her or forgetting about emotions known as love.

Getting herself, Reeva, “I received an invitation for the farewell party this Saturday. This one isn’t in school, but in a club in the downtown area.”

“Oh, that’s great,” taking a second to realize the breaks in his voice, Chaitanya cleared his throat, “Have a good time there.”

Amit and Maneesh along with the girls behind Reeva abruptly turned their eyes over Chaitanya, their collective gazes were intensely weighted with the attempt to enlighten Chaitanya about underlining implications of a girl trying to invite a boy for a good time hangout.

Reeva continued with a sigh, “You are going with us silly.”

Amit stared at him with a side smirk and narrowed eyes. Chaitanya noticed him. Clearing his hesitations, supporting Chaitanya’s inner wishes, Amit said, “Don’t gawk at us. We are joining too.”

Taking a deep breath, “Count me in. Let’s roll!”

Before they knew it, the eve was upon them. In the heart of the city, the Velvet Vault, a night club for parties, nestled right in the downtown area, the location was prime, just a stone’s throw away from the metro station. The constant hum of the metro trains and the energetic pulse of urban life surrounded the club, infusing it with a vibrant and dynamic atmosphere that attracted a diverse crowd every night.

The venue time was from 3pm onwards till dawn came, since the place was owned by one of student’s father, the party was limitless. Amit and Maneesh with girls from Reeva’s side secretly planned tons of strategies and methods, shared a common goal between them—to make Chaitanya and Reeva propose to each other along with the celebration of their farewell fiesta together.

At 6 in the evening, Chaitanya was waiting near the metro station anticipating for Amit and Maneesh to come and pick him up. His elegant attire was chosen meticulously by his sister, significance of the party and also special for Reeva over the confidential plea by Amit to Chaitanya’s sister. An elegant suit, the deep charcoal fabric catching the waning light, with the white dress shirt underneath was crisp and pristine, its top button fastened neatly under a slim black tie adding a touch of class and contrast. She sent him with a phrase of life, “Never miss the chance to hit the star before regret.” Though Chaitanya didn’t understand the meaning.

He was occasionally glancing at his watch. He pulled out his phone, a couple of rings Maneesh’s call connected. With an annoyance yet calmed, “What the hell are you two doing? We are getting late.”

Before he could see further, the unmistakable sounds of laughter, chatter, and the music spilled through from the other end.

Noticing the background, Chaitanya continued, “Don’t tell me you’re at the party already.”

Maneesh took a moment to respond with a slight chuckle, “The thing is, the girls saw us, and took us. Can’t help but join them buddy,” the call disconnected with, “Have a safe travel.”

Sighing over the situation, Chaitanya felt like a fool to wait for the friends he trusted who fled with others. Some part of him felt awkward to join them at the party. Before the thoughts could overwhelm him, he heard a soft call.

“Hey Chaitanya!” Reeva waved at him, slowly approaching him draped in a mesmerizing ivory saree flowed gracefully with her every subtle movement. The delicate fabric shimmered subtly under the evening sky. Her blue blouse added a touch of vibrant contrast, emphasizing the elegance of her attire.

Chaitanya found himself in an unexpected silence, his thoughts scattered entirely by the vision before him. He abruptly turned on the other side, hiding his blushing face with his hands. The rush of emotion made him wonder why she wasn’t with other girls, how could their time sync and why she has to be so damn beautiful. The scene felt to be a fully planned setup by someone.

“Are you alright?” she tenderly held her hand, jolting him back to reality.

Looking at her with a gasp, “I’m good, why are you here? Didn’t you were going with your girls?”

“They left.”

“What you mean? They left without you.”

“You are here too.”

They looked at each other, break into laughter, “I guess we are on the same boat now.”

“Yeah.”

“You…you look beautiful today.”

Flattered by a single comment, “Thanks…you look stunning too, classy. Hey, I have an idea; do you want to go somewhere else? A place with good food and nice view. I know few places and we can get tables there easily. We could have the farewell in the school too.” Even being the girl who loves to be in a group of friends, she raised a proposal to hang out alone with Chaitanya.

Looking at his watch, half past six, they have a lot of time. Chaitanya didn’t even realize, she indirectly approached him for a date night. He smiled; he was ready to agree.

His phone ringed. On the other side Amit, “I guess you both found each other, now come fast.”

“You son of a…” before he could continue, the call disconnected. The call made Chaitanya prepare his fist for a good punch on face.

Seeing outraging Chaitanya after the realization of getting framed. Reeva delicately held his hand, with a soft glow on her face, “It’s alright. I think let’s forgive him this time. Let’s go there. We will go out some other day.”

Rather than taking the cab for the restaurant near the riverside, they board the metro to the downtown area.

The metro was hummed with few passengers as its way towards downtown. Overhead announcements periodically echoed in the silence, reminding everyone of the upcoming stops, while the soft luminescence from the carriage lights created a subdued ambiance. Chaitanya and Reeva found themselves seated side by side. Their shoulders would brush against each other, a simple touch sending waves of emotions into them. Their fingers rested inches apart on the seat, each acutely aware of the other’s presence.

Trying to replace the silence, Chaitanya begun a conversation, “So what are you up to these days?” his voice slightly breaks.

“Ah” her voice falters from the awkwardness, “I’m just reading another fantasy novel. What about you?”

Their conversation usually lasts for long, and were crazy, but for some reason, they felt a strange discomfort of shyness.

As the metro rocked gently over a set of tracks, Chaitanya’s hand shifted just a fraction closer to Reeva’s. It was almost imperceptible, yet she noticed. Their fingers touched tentatively. They brushed against each other in the fleeting moment. Slowly, Reeva’s fingers hooked around his. She was shy in sharing gestures of intimacy. Chaitanya hesitated, his heart raced, he didn’t pull away. Instead, he allowed her fingers to intertwine with his. As the metro climbed up, holding each other’s hands, they both silently amidst the city’s ceaseless rhythm.

The gently cocoon of their moment of intimacy was abruptly halted by the loud echo of the metro’s announcement for the downtown jolting them out from their reverie. It left a faint blush on their cheeks.

Chaitanya cleared his throat, “We should go.”

Exchanging a quick, sheepish glance, Reeva responded, “Agreed.” her cheeks still had the faint pink blush.

At the party, the slight frustration Chaitanya had towards others faded away after the moment shared with Reeva back in the metro, it wasn’t much but raced their hearts at its peaks.

The farewell party was in full swing, and the energy in the room was palpable. Music filled the air, creating a rhythm that was hard to resist even for a non-dancer.

Chaitanya was at the center of it all, surrounded by everyone, despite his trio he was quite famous among the classes because of his martial art club. Every now and then, they’d break into impromptu dance-offs, much to the amusement of the onlookers. Reeva, on the other hand, was engrossed in conversation with a group of friends, her laughter ringing out clear and melodious.

The party’s atmosphere took a new turn when a ramp walk was introduced. The lights dimmed, focusing on the makeshift runway that stretched out. Spectators huddled around with eager anticipation. One by one, chosen participants took to the stage, each displaying their unique style and confidence while some were the jokers in the pack of cards, making everyone laugh with their acts. Laughter, cheers, and applause rang out, filling the room with an exhilarating energy. As each participant passed, whispers of appreciation and awe filled the air.

Then, it was Reeva’s turn.

The moment she set foot on the ramp; it was clear she belonged there. Dressed in a breathtaking outfit that highlighted her grace, she glided with a seemingly innate elegance. Every stride and sway spoke of her natural poise, embodying the very soul of the evening.

Chaitanya was mesmerized as Reeva glided down the runway, the world felt slowed. His heart raced, mirroring the tempo of her steps. Surrounded murmurs of awe were just a distant hum to him. All he saw was her, luminous and enchanting, becoming the undeniable highlight of the night.

And as she reached the end of the runway, their gaze meets with her smile, it became clear that this was a moment neither of them would ever forget.

Photo albums circulated, each snapshot spinning a tale, each evoking bursts of laughter and nostalgia.

The atmosphere danced between joy and a tinge of sadness. While everyone reveled in the party’s joy, there was an underlying realization that an era was coming to an end. Friends vowed to maintain their connections, organize reunions, and eternally value the ties they’d nurtured over time.

Amidst the revelry, there were pauses of introspection, moments of quiet gratitude for the shared adventures. The farewell party was not just a celebration of their past, but also a toast to their future. And as the night wore on, they became more energetic, planning to continue the party till the sunrise, as they all knew that these memories would be etched in their hearts forever.

Despite everyone’s craziness, the trio along with the girls, choose to take their leave before it was too late in the night. After getting a push from everyone, Chaitanya eventually came up with his decision, remembering the words by his sister, he realized the meaning to those. Never miss the chance to hit the star before regret. While everyone was engrossed in the dance on the stage, with a deep breath, Chaitanya slowly clasped Reeva’s hands. She trusted him and she willingly let him guide her up to the rooftop.

The rooftop was in the soft glow of ambient lights, contrasting with the vibrant energy of the party with the faint thump of the bass and occasional cheers.

The stars above shimmered brightly so as the radiant glow emanating from the city below.

A cool night breeze gently tugged at Reeva’s hair, she swept a strand of hair back behind her ears, “Isn’t it so good here!”

Chaitanya could feel his heart pounding in his chest, the rhythm felt it to escape from between his lips. He had rehearsed this moment thousands of times in his head, and now, standing before Reeva, and words seemed to abandon him like always.

Reading Chaitanya’s face with the eyes filled with curiosity, “Chaitanya, what’s the matter?” she asked, her gentle voice almost persuading him to speak of his heart.

He took a deep breath, attempting to muster the courage he needs, “Reeva, there’s something I’ve been wanting to say,” he began, the worlds trembling and breaking, “I’m confused myself, so I’m trying to give it a shot, to listen to my heart…”

Chaitanya paused for a moment with his overwhelming emotions after realizing his words. He looked around to find a perfect word in air.

Before he could continue, Reeva gently squeezed his hand, her smile was patient and comforting. Chaitanya’s eyes fell to the bracelet he had kept in his pocket, a beautiful silver chain with a delicate star pendant. Without saying anything more, he took out the bracelet and carefully wrapped it around her wrist.

Reeva looked down at the bracelet, the light catching the pendant, making it sparkle. “It’s beautiful, Chaitanya,” she whispered. But her eyes looked for his gaze, trying to figure about the true reason for him to take her way up to the top.

Chaitanya cleared his throat, “It’s for you,” he said simply, “Just a small token to remind you of this farewell.”

“Really! Or you are hiding something from me?”

“No, its just it. How is it?”

Reeva nodded with her moist eyes. She hugged him. Perhaps she read his heart, realizing Chaitanya was too shy to say it aloud, “Thank you,” she murmured into his ear.

A sudden noise shattered the atmosphere. They heard a fall and little cry on the rooftop. They looked around, there, sprawled out on the ground Amit quickly scrambled to his feet, brushing off the dirt from his clothes.

“Ouch, that hurt,” he grumbled, rubbing his back.

Maneesh stepped out from behind the wall, grabbing Amit’s collar, scolding him, “I told you moron, not to lean so much!”

Behind them, a group of girls sneaking around, all of them struggling to hold back their giggles. They had been eavesdropping on Chaitanya and Reeva’s conversation.

Reeva’s expression was a mix of surprise and amusement. “What are you all doing here?” she asked, trying to sound stern, but the twinkle in her eye gave her away.

Momently, Amit made a realization, he knew it was walking a tightrope, with a lump in his throat his eyes turned at Chaitanya, in his instant killer mode, a dark force swirling around him.

With a horrifying depth his voice, Chaitanya said, flexing his fingers for a solid punch, “I-somehow-know-you-are-behind-all-of-this.” with a bloodlust in his eyes, “Am-I-right-Amit?”

Whispering to himself, Amit, “I’m dead now.”

Hearing him, Chaitanya replied with slowly walking towards him, “You-certainly-are.”

Everyone burst into laughter as they saw Chaitanya going after Amit like a lion chasing after its pray. Amit was the master mind behind letting Chaitanya and Reeva come alone and watch over them on the roof, while Maneesh and the girls volunteered him.

They returned back to the party to inform others about their departure from the celebration because of the clock. The party was still in full swing. A few of them nodded in understanding, while others seemed too engrossed in the festivities to really acknowledge the departure.

As they were saying their goodbyes, Chaitanya suddenly realized Reeva was nowhere in sight. “Have any of you seen Reeva?” asking to her group, trying to mask the concern in his voice, but they knew about his feeling.

One of the girls from the group chimed in, “She got a call a few minutes ago. Looked pretty urgent. She left right after.”

“I see,” Chaitanya’s heart sank. He had hoped to get another moment with her, to possibly to tell her how he fell, and the bracelet wasn’t a sign of friendship but love.

But now, she was gone. The suddenness of her departure left him with a feeling of incompleteness.

“I think, that’s what she meant, never miss the star,” he muttered, remembering her sister.

Maneesh noticed Chaitanya’s disappointment, patted his shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry, buddy. You’ll get another chance. It’s not like you have alexithymia or she is going to die tomorrow.”

Abruptly interrupting him, “Do not say that, never.”

The sudden rush of protectiveness and passiveness in Chaitanya towards her made Maneesh smile.

“And, hey you still have us! Not the same as a romantic evening with Reeva. Also, you should thank me for giving you your precious moments,” Amit added.

Turning at Amit with a creepy smile of death, showing him his fist, “You sure want to talk more,” lightening the mood instantly, “Anyways, let’s leave.”

A week passed after since the farewell party night. The same school days continued, but there was no sign of Reeva in the past seven days. Everyone was concerned about her safety, especially Chaitanya, his heart ache whenever he excessively thoughts about the possibilities of her absence.

One Sunday, Chaitanya was on the way to his home, just descended from the metro station, the weight of a long day pressing down on him, he was returning after dropping his sister to the airport for her three-week work in the capital. The metro ride back home had always been his time to get lost in thoughts, and today was no different. He had been reflecting on the events of the past week - Reeva’s sudden disappearance from the farewell party and no sign of her afterwards. He decided to visit her house soon, needing closure or at least some clarity for her disappearance.

Walking down the paths, the dim streetlights cast a long shadow on the ground. He looked up to see Amit and Maneesh chatting animatedly with two girls, maybe a double date. A wave of solitude washed over him, leaving a corner of his heart feeling isolated, forlorn, and desolate after seeing their smiles while he was dying to know about Reeva’s wellbeing and having adjustment disorder (a short-term condition that occurs when a person has difficulty coping with, or adjusting to, a particular source of stress, such as a major life change, loss, or event. The symptoms often include feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of enjoyment in usual activities.)

He wasn’t in the mood to engage in conversations and not even face them, Chaitanya quickly diverted his path and entered a nearby alley, a shortcut he’d taken countless times before, to reduce the travel time, but this time it was escapism.

The alley was quieter, save for the occasional rustling of leaves and distant city noises. However, things weren’t so good that as he ventured deeper, an unmistakable foul odor began to fill the air.

Wrinkling his nose in disgust, he tried to hasten his steps. But soon, his gaze was drawn to an unusual pile of garbage up ahead.

But what he saw in it sent chills down his spine. A lifeless leg was sticking out from the trash, its skin pale against the dark surroundings. His heart was pounding unusually high, an uncertain hostility surged into him.

He approached cautiously, it was a girl, eyes pulled out, bathed with blood and countless scars over her bare body with no piece fabric around. The face was almost unrecognizable as the hairs and facial skin was pulled off the body, the roughness showed she might be alive the time her silk skin was ripped off from her face.

He felt sorrow and enraged with the humiliation the poor girl might have suffered a lot before her death. How could someone be this cruel!

He took out his phone, about to call the police and authorities about the matter, but out of the blue, a thing which met his eyes left him frozen in horror…it was the same star bracelet which he had gifted to Reeva. He might be wrong to judge the dead girl as Reeva, but the fact that the pendant was made by his sister never left his mind.

Chaitanya’s phone dropped from his hands, knees gave away, he fell to the ground, unable to tear his gaze from the tragic scene. His heart ached as the flashing memories of Reeva flooded in—the time spent, her beautiful face, the laugh they shared, the rooftop incident. The pain in his chest was overwhelming.

His fingers slowly tucked with the girl’s hand; he felt the same sensation but the warmed was gone into silent cold. His melancholic scream echoes in the alley with tears streaming down his face while holding her cold hands, “Reeva!”

Coming after the echoing sound, Amit and Maneesh, having followed him out of curiosity, their faces turned ashen at the sight of the dead. The girls, realizing something was terribly wrong after the scream, hurried over, and gasps of air of horror.

Maneesh, despite the shock, quickly dialed the police, he was the practical one to remain calm in critical situations. Amit was stunned, his voice muttered, “Don’t tell me, that’s…Reeva.”

They all saw the ever-strong Chaitanya, crying horribly for the first time, tears never stopped coming out, his emotions were mixed with grief, disbelief, and regret. All the feeling burring inside him flooded out through his tears and mourning.

He was taken weak and overwhelmed by his emotions that he didn’t realize he was hugging a dead. He missed the Star…now it’s only regret on his doorsteps, regret of the failure to express his true feelings to her. Before he could spend time with her, the world took her away, so far that he couldn’t ever be able to find her again.

Days passed, soon weeks, Chetana was in the capital, while he isolated himself from the world in his room. Amit and Maneesh were deeply concerned about his mental health. Just the next day of Reeva’s death, Chaitanya found a notebook of Reeva, her diary which he kept reading over and over for the two weeks.

On the way to his home, in the metro, Maneesh, “We have to bring him out of his bereavement isolation. Otherwise, who knows what he might do in his depression or just die alone from lack of care of hygiene and food.”

“Should we in from his sister about his condition?” holding his head in confusion, Amit groans, “Ahh! I don’t know what to do?”

“Indeed, we should inform his sister. She is busy out there, last week she called me to ask about Chaitanya, she was concerned about him.”

“What you said?”

“At that moment, I thought not to inform her about anything particular, especially about Reeva’s heart-wrenching death. But now it’s time for her to know the truth. And I did it already, just last night.”

“Great work. But first we need to talk with that brat first.”

“We should treat PTSD with utmost cautiousness, as it poses significant risks.”

“PTSD?”

“Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. If the death of someone or say someone special was sudden, unexpected, or traumatic, the bereaved individual might experience PTSD. Symptoms can include flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, and uncontrollable thoughts about the event or might hallucinations.”

The rain drizzled softly against the windowpanes, Maneesh and Amit stood outside Chaitanya’s house— Rajmohan Mansion. The corridors were filled with somber, they hesitated for a second.

Taking a breath, Amit, “Should we go inside for real?”

“Yes, we will,” without any doubt and a cold face, Maneesh replied, looking up.

“You know, if things went wrong and we enraged him…”

“We will be dead for sure. But”

“Friends can die for friends.”

After what felt like hours, Amit finally knocked. They waited but the silence filled the space between them.

There was a shuffling sound, and the door cracked open, Chaitanya appeared with his hollow eyes and a dark shadow of his once bright face, and a diary decorated with paper flowers. Might be Reeva’s notebook he received.

Amit gulped, trying to find his voice, “Hey... Chaitanya. We’ve been worried.” his voice cracked, “We missed you pal.”

Chaitanya looked at them, his eyes darting away. The pain in them was unmistakable. “What do you want?” His voice was hoarse, a whisper barely audible.

Amit hesitated for a moment, then with a sudden courage, he stepped forward. “We want you back.” approaching at him, “Look pal, we can understand your pain, but it’s time for you to get over it.”

Maneesh took a moment to look at the corridors, junk and trash covering the floor, with countless photographs lying everywhere.

His gaze remained fixed, Chaitanya replied coldly, “Who are you two?”

The failure in recognition, broke Amit’s heart, with a loud infuriating tone, “Don’t talk shit, and don’t even try to forget our time like a dream.”

Pushing his glasses, Maneesh clenches his fists, he snatches the diary with one hand and delivers a surprise punch on Chaitanya’s face with other, throwing him on the floor. The sudden blow enraged Chaitanya’s inner fighter instincts, grabbing Maneesh’s collar with his blood cuddling stare, “Give me that thing back, Maneesh!”

Maneesh smirked, “I knew you don’t have Dissociative amnesia.” returning him the book, “It’s better to burry that Diary.”

Amit was astonished to even process the surroundings. Maneesh read Chaitanya’s thought like a telepath, “Why you were trying to…forget us. Aren’t we your dudes?”

Annoyed over Amit’s continues showers of questions, “Shut up you moron!” Chaitanya yelled, “Becoming your friend was the worst decision I could ever take in my life.”

“Relax Amit,” soothing Amit while Chaitanya was holding his collars, “Currently he is not the one talking, but the loneliness residing in him is.”

“What do you mean?”

“Currently his heart experience, envy, pain, jealousy over the sights of we both getting along together much better than him with us.”

For a moment, there was nothing. Then, Chaitanya murmured more to himself than to others, “You knew everything…still you…bastard! You hurt me more than her who left me. Now I’m all alone, you must be euphoric. Coming here, to mock over my pathetic condition.”

Chaitanya was lost, deep into loneliness, like a ship in the vast ocean with no sail, nowhere to go. The waves of isolation crashed against him relentlessly, and the horizon offered no hint of land or refuge. Around him was an infinite expanse of emptiness, and within, a deep yearning for anchorage, for a beacon of light to guide him home.

And that light came, when they heard Chaitanya’s sister at the door, returning, leaving everything for her brother, her only family, and she didn’t want him to lose the hope of living. She rushed and clings to Chaitanya with open arms, the warmth of the hug melt down the wrath. He cried in her arms. In the embrace of his family, he finally found the place to whine over the pain and suffering.

Chetana was apologizing to him for not being at the times when he needed her the most. In the vast loneliness, he was alive because of his sister watching over him, laughing, playing, and crying together. Carrying each other’s backs, Chaitanya’s physical prowess mirrored that of a beast, unstoppable and fierce but his heart reflects a stubborn child, pure and innocent. For in her presence, the child within him found solace, and the beast, a reason to be gentle.

Two days passed since then, after his sister arrived, Chaitanya eventually became ready to hear out both of his friends and asked for forgiveness for disrespecting their love and care as their friend. They accepted his remorse as an excuse for boys being uncomfortable to share bonds openly like girls do.

Taking to his sister, provided a catharsis for Chaitanya, lifted a big weight from Chaitanya’s shoulders, however, his sister, with her typical blend of concern and assertiveness, gave him quite an earful for ignoring her calls. Over which he replied that he received a notebook of Reeva after her death from a girl, a friend of her. He kept reading the notebook for the past two weeks, and still he left the last one unturned, afraid to open.

On the third day, he made up his mind to wake up from his depression if not for himself then for his sister. The time he spent in introspection for the past two days made him realize how foolish he was to disgrace the precious gem of friendship.

“Sis, I’m leaving for school now,” closing the main entrance, he waved at his sister gesturing him back, wishing for a good day, “See you later,” With a smile on his face once again, and without any notice to Amit and Maneesh, Chaitanya headed for the school, it could be a surprise for both of them to see Chaitanya back.

Standing by platform 3, he entered the metro to central district, to his school. The metro filled with men and women well-dressed on their way to the office. Among them was a stream of students, some chatting excitedly about a recent Frankenstein movie which even being a love story, it had an ending beyond comprehension, while others lost in their headphones or books.

Amidst this daily commotion, his eyes caught sight of a familiar face, it was her—the girl with jet-black hair and twinkling eyes, whom he noticed earlier. He remembered spotting her several times before, and every time their eyes met, she’d quickly avert her gaze. But today instead of looking away, her lips curled into a delicate smile, and her fingers wiggled in a subtle wave, sending Chaitanya in confusion. He looked around, but there was no mistaking it; she was signaling him. But why? What had he done to catch the attention of that mysterious girl? They weren’t even in the same school. It was all a mystery.

As the day passed, the girl’s acts became a regular fixture. One day she’d flash a smile, the next she’d wave, and occasionally, she’d muster the courage to sit right next to him. His confusion only deepened. He’d seen his fair share of flirts and admirers, but this was different. Her audacity was both intriguing and unsettling.

One morning, with the bottled-up frustration boiling inside him, Chaitanya yelled, “Who are you?!” his aggressive voice echoing through the metro car. “Why are you trailing me? We don’t even know each other!”

All eyes in the metro turned to him with awe. The girl taken aback, looked like a deer caught in headlights. Her face flushed red. She stammered, “I... I thought...” her voice breaks, she swallowed hard, trying to regain her composure. “I was advised that if I showed signs to a boy, it would make him fall for me.”

Chaitanya blinked, trying to process. Looking at her with amusement, “Is that it?”

“Y-Yes…” the girl was hiding her face with his hands in embarrassment.

Chaitanya breaks into laughter. Though the metro ride was an awkward conversation, but tension slowly thawed. On their way, Chaitanya learnt that the girl’s name was Maya. She shifted to Mansa a year ago. The idea of giving signs to a boy came from novels and sims. It might have sounded silly, but in her world, a place filled with books and video games, it made perfect sense. She had been seeing Chaitanya for several months, his talks with his friends, his charisma, everything had made that silly girl attracted towards him.

As the days went by, Chaitanya and Maya, boarding the same metro in the morning and evening every day, couldn’t help but started to share more about their lives. From their gaming strategies and favorite titles to her love for fantasy novels, they found a surprising amount of common ground. The daily metro ride became an escape from reality, a small pocket of time when he forgets about the trauma after Reeva’s death.

One morning, Maya confessed, “I didn’t just start signaling you because of a game,” she said shyly, “Ever since our paths crossed on this metro, there was something about you that felt... familiar, comforting. I just didn’t know how to approach you.”

Chaitanya stared at her, memories flooding back. He recalled the first time he’d truly taken notice of Maya. He decided to become friends with her not just because of her initial signals or the way she looks, she was beautiful but because she was an escape from reality for him. Their shared tastes, though silent and unspoken, had also intrigued him.

Within a hand full of weeks, the bond deepened. Their interactions expanded beyond just exchanged glances. They began sharing headphones, going out together on weekends. The exams were a month ahead, there were chances Maya would leave Mansa after the exams, they might never meet again soon, they were spending their time together before the exams hit their doors.

Chaitanya seemed happier than ever to Amit and Maneesh, and why he always chose to come alone by metro, one day during the lunch time, they reached to him and out of curiosity asked about the reason. Chaitanya took a moment to hold his smiles and told them about Maya, about how they meet, places they travelled, how metro rides gave birth to several unforgettable moments, how he missed the stop because he were too engrossed in a conversation, ends up reaching school late, and how he discovered a mutual feeling between them, a relation build from a small gesture…which could be love.

Amit was happy for Chaitanya, even after the death of the person he like, after going through depression and PTSD, he finally moved on in his life. Grieving for a loved one is natural and understandable, but it’s important for the young to live their lives fully and not remain stuck in sorrow.

On the other hand, Maneesh was concerned and anxious about Chaitanya and the girl he addresses as Maya after catching a glimpse of the same diary with paper flowers in Chaitanya’s bag. As what he found in it was shocking, it was Reeva’s diary and every day of her was mentioned in it but, Chaitanya had crossed out Reeva’s name in the diary, replacing it with Maya everywhere. The characteristics were unanticipatedly identical to Reeva, which could be a possible reason for him to fall in love with her and more mysterious, yet Maneesh desired to meet with Maya to bring halt to his worries.

As days melted, Chaitanya began to paint the memories on the canvas of Mansa.

Going on dates in coffee shops and vintage boutiques became common for them after the school hours like strolling through botanical gardens and parks in the evening. They discovered a shared taste- a mutual fondness giving feelings of them being the identical parts of the same soul lost in the vast universe and finally found each other. They went to historic libraries and flashy arcades and explored local flea markets as the weekends rolled by.

However, the looming shadow of the final exams began to encroach upon their escapades. One evening, just before the first day of exam, Chaitanya was sitting in a park near the metro station with Maya sitting beside him, clinging to him. Sharing the essence of their relationship, on the last day, but the love turned to madness didn’t allowed Chaitanya to return back home for studies. He left home at sunrise, and now the sun was setting on the horizon.

Maya leaned on him, whispered, her voice filled with concern, “Chaitanya, you should be preparing for your exams. Why are you here?”

Exhaling a deep breath, Chaitanya, “I know, Maya. But with everything that’s happened, the memories, the moments, I just... I needed a break.”

Maya gently lifted his face to meet her gaze. “Chaitanya, love is a beautiful chaos, but our future is important too. I never want to be the reason you regret a decision. We’ll have countless moments together, but right now, we need to focus.”

“No, I need break from the world, I want to just run away…with you. Together we could build our new world, where we would be the one to live in love.” he looked at her smiling at him as if she agreed over his thoughts like every time, “I will be with you, forever.”

The sharp sting of the slap left Chaitanya momentarily dazed. As he turned, he was met with the distraught face of his sister, Chetana. Her eyes were clouded with apprehension and glistening with tears.

“What are you doing?!” she cried, her voice a mix of anger and relief. “I was searching everywhere for you!”

Chaitanya, still reeling from the shock, stammered, “Sis, we were just...”

She didn’t let him finish. Grabbing his arm firmly, she began to drag him away, back to their home. While Maya kept following Chaitanya, as he promised her that they wouldn’t return and leave till the clock hit 6. She remained unnoticed by Chetana, whose heart was crying after seeing Chaitanya in his present condition.

The slap’s sting was intense, but the pain in Chetana’s eyes hurt Chaitanya even more. Grabbing his arm, her fingers trembling, she led him through the Mansa’s streets, back to the safety of their home.

“Why, Chaitanya?” she demanded as they stepped into his room, her voice echoing with a mix of frustration and despair. “Why were you in the park, speaking to yourself? The neighbors, they’ve all been talking about it. They’re worried.”

Chaitanya’s brows furrowed in confusion, “I wasn’t speaking to the air, sis. I was with Maya. She is here too.”

Chetana was left frozen, with her eyes darting around as if expecting to find Maya hiding somewhere in the room, “Maya? There isn’t anyone here.”

“Don’t play with me sis. She is right there near the door.”

“Chaitanya, I watched you for a while from a distance, and you were alone. And it’s just you and me here.”

He could feel his heart rate increasing, an anxious tremor made him tremble, “She is right there, sis. Right, I can see her. Why aren’t you able to find her. Its not a fevered dream, I can see her sis, I can see her, that’s right there, that’s Maya, can’t you see a beautiful girl with jet-black hairs, in skirts.”

“Enough, Stop Chaitanya!”

“That’s not possible, we talked about our plans, our shared interests…even love. She... she even has the same laugh as Reeva.”

At the mention of Reeva’s name, Chetana’s face crumpled, a surge of pain and concern. She moved closer to him, her hands gently reaching out to touch his face, “Oh, brother,” she murmured, tears brimming in her eyes. “I think the pain of losing Reeva is manifesting in ways we couldn’t imagine.”

He pulled away, a desperate edge to his voice, “Maya isn’t a hallucination, Sis. She’s been my companion, my solace since... since Reeva left us.”

Chetana took a deep breath, trying to hold her emotions for both their sakes, if she breaks, then who is going to help Chaitanya. She led him to the bed, urging him to sit. “Listen, brother,” her voice was soft but firm, “our minds, when confronted with profound grief, sometimes find ways to cope. It can create memories, images, even entire people, to fill the void, to protect us from the harshness of reality, Greif hallucination.”

“But Maya is so vivid,” Chaitanya protested, his voice breaking. “Her touch, her smile, the conversations... It feels too genuine to be a creation of my mind.”

Chetana’s tears spilled over, the weight of her own grief and the pain of watching her brother’s struggles were clear in her face. “Grief is powerful, Chaitanya. And our mind is intricate. It can make us believe and feel things so deeply, especially when we yearn for comfort.”

The room grew silent, the only sound was Chaitanya’s ragged breathing, a profound melancholy was taking over him, he left Maya holding his hands, he kept convincing himself Maya to be real, rather than a mere delusion.

His gaze turned at the mirror, he could see Maya’s reflection, and soon her vanishing into air, as the moment time hit 6 O’clock in the evening.

Chaitanya smiled, and collapsed forward on Chetan’s shoulders, his body wracked with sobs, he felt his sister’s arms around him, the weight of the grief of Reeva’s death appeared once again, so as the regret, and the shock of the new love of his live— Maya, as an illusion. He cried for hours in her lap; he was lucky enough; the consciousness was with the life at the time of delusion this time.

Next morning, the day of the final exams arrived, Maneesh and Amit were waiting for Chaitanya.

Outside the entrance of the examination hall, Maneesh and Amit fidgeted impatiently. They kept glancing at their watches and then at the path leading up to the hall, expecting to see Chaitanya come rushing towards them.

“He’s always late,” Amit muttered.

Maneesh smirked, “Probably with his ‘Maya’ again. You know how he’s been this past month,” said shuffling his notes for the last time.

Amit sighed with concern. “Ever since Reeva’s death, he’s not been the same. This whole ‘Maya’ thing has us all worried.”

Maneesh nodded, pushing his glasses, his expression turning serious. “I tried talking to him, but he’s so convinced she’s real. Even his sister is concerned.”

“We should have kept a closer eye on him after... you know.”

“How about meeting this Maya for ourselves, from behind like you made us sneak to his conversation with Reeva at the farewell.”

A few more minutes passed, but there was still no sign of Chaitanya. The bell indicating the start of the exam was about to ring. They were forced to leave the corridors and enter the examination hall.

As they reluctantly made their way into the examination hall, Maneesh murmured, “We need to check on him after this.”

Amit nodded, “Yeah, something’s not right, I have a bad feeling for some reason.”

The door closed behind them, but their concern for Chaitanya overshadowed the pressure of the impending exam. The weight of their friend’s struggles and the mysteries surrounding him lingered in their minds, as they looked at the fourth seat, supposed to be of Chaitanya but vacant now.

As Maneesh and Amit left the examination hall, they exchanged glances, a silent agreement forming between them— to find Chaitanya. Heading for his house, they approached the metro station, they saw a growing crowd of people, whispers of surprise and worry permeating the atmosphere.

Amit’s pulse quickened. “What’s happening?” he quietly asked Maneesh, who seemed just as taken aback, he could feel an air of misfortune like Amit.

The metro’s entry was blocked with yellow tape, and officers were trying to keep the crowd at bay. They pushed through, trying to get a better view. The closer they got, the heavier the atmosphere became, charged with grief and shock as they heard a loud whine.

And then they saw it.

Near the platform, Chaitanya’s sister was huddled on the ground, beside a body enveloped in a blood-stained shroud, mourning, it was her sobs resonating in the station.

Amit, moved by the sight, hastened towards her. He gently attempted to console her, offering words and gestures of comfort. Yet, despite his earnest efforts, her tears continued to flow unabated.

Maneesh looked around, scanning the scene, a familiar bag lying on the tracks with blood caught his attention. For the first time, heart was in his throat. He didn’t want to believe what he was seeing. The murmurs in the crowd became clear, pieces of a conversation forming a grim picture. “Poor young man... Jumped right in front... Nobody could do anything.”

His institutions made him call for Amit for not to open the shroud to saw the face.

But it was too late, Amit’s face turned ashen to see the dead body shivered into two because of the rail, his voice barely audible, “No... it can’t be.”

Amit’s shock intensified Chetana’s crying, ever since he was in middle school, she had been living with him after their parents went abroad for work, entrusting her with Chaitanya’s care. She had strived to be more than just a sister, attempting to fill the void as his best friend, and loving him with the warmth of a mother, but today she felt defeated. She didn’t know what she will do without him, the weight loomed over her head that what she will tell father and mother, that she failed to give the love Chaitanya deserved and because of that …

Chaitanya killed himself.

THE END

***