Rough but definitely worth the read.

"Okay let me say that I mean this in the nicest way possible but I really do think your story has potential though its plot is somewhat muddled. Emma is an interesting character and the group is amazing but it's hard to figure out the plot exactly, and it reads more like a biography than a fictional story. But even with that said, I do believe that your story needs some polishing and definitely has potential considering that you are amazing at description. Overall good job."