Shrouded Affections

The first time Kayden saw him, she knew it was over.

The flings, the one-night stands, the loveless friends with benefits—all of it would stop being good enough.

Was it all ever really enough? Maybe. She was happy enough, satisfied enough. After all, it was better to have low risk fun than to trust someone with your entire being, lose yourself in love and give them all you have—including the power to hurt you. The only thing being a hopeless romantic ever got her was suffering.

But something about this man in particular caused a stir in the caged part of her heart that was still capable of being lovelorn. The part that still believed in soul-mates, even though she didn’t even believe in souls. The part that occasionally cried when an old fling would find love in someone who wasn’t her, even though she was the one to end things.

Sitting there watching this absurdly young professor stride to the front of the room with his confidence, his impossibly blue eyes, his unreasonably sexy chest hairs curling out from the top of his button-up, and his stupid ‘forbidden’ status, Kayden realized she might be tempted to go for more than a simple tryst. Put-together, smart, successful men didn’t risk it all for a fling.

His eyes scanned the room without focus as he greeted with a surprisingly gentle voice, “Good morning, folks.”

The collective groan that reverberated around the room suggested the rest of the students weren’t too thrilled about an eight a.m. start time for a five-week summer course. Kayden didn’t mind, even with a full time waitressing job taking up her Sunday nights.

A small smile tugged at one corner of the professor’s mouth. “Oh come on, it’s not that bad.” He had one of those densely trimmed beards that made him both look too young to be a professor and too old for her to crush on. Schrödinger’s Beard.

Subdued laughter was his answer.

“I’m Doctor Misha Kaiser, but please ignore the title and just call me Kaiser.”

Okay, so a doctorate probably meant he was older than he looked, and that actually brought Kayden some relief; a crush on an older teacher was nothing to worry about. She once had a crush on an older teacher in high school. It passed.

His gaze settled on Kayden’s and lingered. Quickly she glanced away instead of acknowledging that she was staring, which actually made her feel more awkward. Everyone was looking at him: by averting her eyes, she made it more than the normal stare.

When she peeked back at him, he had already shifted his attention and reached for his zipper binder. “I’d like to skip my biography, but I’ll answer any questions you may have.” Without pausing for anyone ask a question, he opened the binder to retrieve a tablet and announce he’d be calling roll.

A sudden kick from the foot next to hers forced her agape mouth closed with a blink. She glared at her best friend and roommate, Aisha Ghaffari, who leaned over to whisper, “Close your mouth; you’re drooling.”

Kayden smuggled a smirk before nudging her friend’s shoulder. She knew she wasn’t drooling. She never drooled over a man. Then again, she had the suspicion that had already changed.

“I have an excellent memory when it comes to names and faces, but I still think it would be nice if you each share something about yourself when I call on you.”

Groans seemed to come from a majority of the students, followed by laughter.

Kaiser’s eyebrows rose as he skimmed the room, trying to hold back his surprised grin. “Well, that was the most abundantly clear ‘hell no’ I’ve ever heard.”

She found herself joining the chuckles rippling around the room. He wasn’t going to get away with avoiding talking about himself. With a swallow, she raised her voice, “You first, then.”

Those stunning, deep-set eyes found hers again. “Me?”

A shiver tingled up her abdomen. “Yeah. You can’t expect us to talk about ourselves when you won’t do it.”

Mirroring her sly grin, he sat his butt on the desk, crossing one ankle over his other knee. An endearingly multicolored patterned sock was revealed when his pant leg stretched off his ankle. “Touché.”

Their eyes remained locked, so she perked a single eyebrow to press him forward.

His melt-worthy asymmetrical grin widened to show teeth before he pensively looked up to the ceiling with a ‘hmm’. The tablet switched hands. It looked like he was struggling as much as the students inevitably would, but after a long few seconds, he finally settled on, “I served in the Army.”

A few students muttered, some made sounds of approval, but Kayden blinked rapidly in confusion. How did he have time to both complete service in the Army and get a PhD? How old was he?

Sure, Kayden was a bit of a workaholic, too, but there was no way she could fathom cramming in years of higher education at the same time as a full time Army job.

Immediately Kaiser tapped the screen of his tablet to unlock it. “All right, now I expect something from each of you, so let’s begin.”

Only one person came before her alphabetically, and her palms began to sweat as the guy stumbled over a barely interesting factoid about hiking in Zion. It was southern Utah. Everyone there went to Zion National Park. What could she possibly hope to say?

“Kayden Avery.”

Quickly her hand was in the air. She watched his scanning eyes land on her with a smirk echoing hers. Her voice went up an octave. “Hi.”

Aisha gave her a sideways glare and a nudge with her knee.

“It’s nice to meet you, Kayden. What’s something unique you want to share about yourself?”

“Uh…” She cleared her throat, still grasping for anything interesting at all about herself. Because she jumped right into the workforce right after graduation—and a little before that, admittedly—she fell into a rather “adult” and even boring routine. Starting college later than everyone else, spending her prime years behind a desk and barely doing anything outside of it wasn’t a very interesting tale to tell. If anything, she considered it sad. Especially when talking to a professor who clearly fast tracked his education and career.

Only one non-boring thing came to mind. “I once participated in a bikini competition.” That sounded more accurate than saying ‘bodybuilding competition’. Yeah, she had to work hard to gain and maintain muscle mass to show off in a sparkly bikini on stage, but she wasn’t exactly in the same realm as seasoned competitors.

Two of the guys in the row in front of her whipped their heads around to get a look at her. She smiled and rotated an arm sideways to flex her biceps at them with a snicker, glad she wore a tank top that day. Other students oooed and ahhed.

One corner of Kaiser’s mouth pressed deeply into his cheek, adding a singular dimple to that uneven smile. “Good for you, Kayden. That sounds awesome.”

She holstered her guns and felt her cheeks flush, though not likely noticeably since her face regularly carried a red hue. “Thanks. I didn’t place, though.” She shrugged. “It was fun, anyway.”

That smile almost spread before he looked back to his roster, moving on to the next student in line.

Her shoulders slouched as she exhaled, having kept her breathing to a shallow minimum during that whole interaction. Her cheekbone went to rest on her right hand as she zoned out, eyes locked on this too-attractive educator.

How did he find pants that fit him so perfectly? As a fitness enthusiast herself, Kayden could easily recognize and appreciate an earned physique. He may not be a body builder—neither was she, anyway—but he looked strong, and she didn’t even bother trying to hide her appreciation.

Apparently, he had a little appreciation of his own to show.

After each student gave their little spiels, and before calling the next person, Kaiser would glance back over to her. Every time, either before calling a name or right after, he feigned a room scan for the person he just called.

There were almost twenty other opportunities to count how frequently his eyes met hers… and count, she did.

Even when Aisha’s hand went right up at her name, he still glanced to Kayden first before greeting her the same way he did every student: “Nice to meet you, Aisha.”

Aisha linked her fingers on the desk surface. “Hi. I’m sure everyone is already wondering it, so, no, I’m not an exchange student.” She huffed with a smile. This university had an unusually high proportion of exchange students from Muslim-majority countries, despite being a relatively small campus in Utah. Aisha’s hijab made it obvious which question lingered heaviest on everyone’s mind. “My parents are from Pakistan, though, and I do speak Urdu.”

Kaiser’s grin wrinkled one eye endearingly. “That’s great, but I’d like to hear something unique about you. Something you have done or experienced personally, outside of your family’s influence.”

The air around her stiffened. Kayden glanced to her friend and squeezed her forearm reassuringly. Aisha seemed uneasy, unsure. This wasn’t the first time someone had to remind her that she was her own person.

“Uh. Well… I…” She met eyes with Kayden, who winked at her encouragingly. They shared a mischievous grin as Aisha jutted a thumb toward her less humble roomie. “This one once made me compete in a Halloween costume contest, and I won.”

Kayden looked back to their professor. “It’s true. She does some great costume work. Authentic assassin attire. It was a hit.”

A student somewhere in the room blurted, “Nice!”

Blue eyes met brown again and held. She held her breath and counted: one-thousand-one, one-thousand-two. He went back to his roll call, and she exhaled, her lips parting as she fixated on his face and figure.

Eventually, long after meeting all of the students, he said something in a quizzical tone, forcing Kayden to pay attention. “…because we will be moving quickly these next five weeks. Are you all prepared for that?” His eyes wandered and conveniently found hers again, eyebrows slightly raised. She nodded quickly. A subtle grin was his reply. She mirrored it. Three seconds. He looked away, and she turned her head to catch her breath.

Aisha leaned sideways to meet her, whispering, “Are you okay?”

She swallowed hard, forcing her heart back where it belonged. “That’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. I might suffocate.”

She smirked. “Deep breaths. Try not to stare at him.”

“You don’t agree?”

Aisha bit her lip as she peeked from the corner of her eye at the professor. “I didn’t say that…” She held back a giggle but nudged her shoulder against Kayden’s. “Just think about math.”

The math she thought of was the sum of how many times he looked at her during roll call, and it was way more than the number of students on the roster.