Untitled chapter
Chapter 1
AT THE EDGE of the world, between the last of the oceans and the foot of the oddly shaped mountain, was The Kingdom of Muther. Muther, like your mommy, only not spelt the same.
The Kingdom of Muther was surrounded by many smaller kingdoms, but it was the most beautiful of all the kingdoms and was populated by the strangest of people and the most fantastical creatures.
The King of Muther was a jolly, fat man who had a ridiculous fear of birds and a complex about his bald head. He was always surrounded by his trusty knights.
The Knights of Muther were the most respected in the land. There was The White Knight, Sir Danicomb, who had an ugly habit of biting his finger nails and was also said to be the greatest archer that ever lived. Apparently he once shot the wings off a fly from two days away. Of course there was nobody around to verify this statement, but we’re all pretty sure that The White Knight wouldn’t lie about something like that. Many believe that The King kept him around simply to fend off birds that might swoop down from the sky.
The Black Knight, Sir Cotwan, was a strange fellow. Always quick to fall in love, he had a strange habit of hugging men just a little too long, which made everyone feel uncomfortable. It also didn’t help that he sometimes wore skirts. When asked why he wore them, he simply said that it was because he was of Scottish descent and also that it made him feel pretty.
The knights had a friend called The Scout. I’m not sure what his real name was, but everyone always just called him Scout, so for the purposes of this story we’ll just stick with that. The Scout was a tracker. It was his job to find things. He could find anything, from lost kittens to buried treasure. He was a quiet person who didn’t speak much, which was pretty normal for a tracker.
The Scout also had the biggest ears you are ever likely to see on a normal-sized human being. The size of his ears was one of the reasons he was such a good tracker, but it was a bit of a hindrance on windy days. The Scout could never walk outside on windy days, because his ears would catch the wind and he’d find himself being whisked away by a gust and landing in places that were not always pleasant.
This story does involve The King of Muther, his knights, and The Scout, but it is not where the story should begin. The story, rightfully, should begin in a little kingdom just north of Muther, called Chutney.
