Runaway✓
•. " I was listening to the ocean
I saw a face in sands
Buh when I picked it up
Then it vanished away from
my hands"•|
And I was running far away.....far ..far away. I can't take it anymore ...
Now there are moments where I just want to disappear into my head and never come back outside into this cruel world. If only that was possible, then I would not be in here right now.
Gently cracking open my eyes , I could sense the worry gazes that are sent my way and even the touch that is trying to shake me back to life. I look at the hand and immediately recognize it to be my mother's hand.
" Echo " , she says a little too hard , " snap out of it right now........,you... ".
Turning my head towards her , I tune back into what she is saying.
".....can't you just stay out of trouble for a little bit , I need you ".
" She really needs immediate mental check up , I don't think we should leave her like this". I hear another voice say. Furrowing my brows from confusion and slight annoyance , I turn to look at the owner .
A young woman stands not too far from the bed with a stethoscope around her neck as she looks at me gingerly .
Alas, that isn't the only thing that confuses me right now , it is the white walls of the place and the hospital gown that am currently on.
Wait..., What!!!!, Hospital gown? ..how on earth am I in the hospital .
A slight ache find its way into my head and I caress my forehead a little bit.
Scratch that , my head is pounding!!
" Honey , how are you feeling now?".
She sounds truly worried , but I am convinced that she isn't . She is just great at pretending.
I refuse to answer her and instead , I sit up a little from the bed and stretch my hand to carry the glass of water that is sitting just next to me.
Before I could do that, my mother carries the cup and lift it to my chapped lips.
" Mom, stop , I don't need your help". I do not bother to look at her as I collect the cup from her.
" So , how do you feel now, love". The doctor says with a slightly deep British accent.
I shrug , not bothering to answer her.
" I might actually need you to speak , just in case you are in any pain , the fall had a really great impact on you as you have been out for over five hours now". She says looking at her book.
I look at her with a confused expression.
" Oh no , no , do not tell me you do not remember just this evening when you got extremely drunk , Echo, what exactly were you thinking ". Mom says with an edge in between the words , that clearly says ," I am utterly disappointed in you , young Missy".
I roll my eyes at her.
" Do not roll your eyes at me , how could you drink yourself to stupor outside of the house , you are not even in the age to drink ".
She says and then paces around the room for a bit and then continues , " and then you almost stabbed a man in the stomach , oh my God , you should be grateful that the man pushed you and you fell ....you would have killed him ".
How scandalous! , Now , wouldn't that be a great sight to behold!
" But you would have gotten me out of jail , now , dear mother , wouldn't you?". I stare at her eyes that are slightly wet from crying , ....fake tears . She doesn't care , it's in the pretentious work of her evil mindset.
" You can't talk to your mother like that , young lady". She shouts at me.
I take a look at the doctor as she starts to talk.
" Now , I saw your record from this hospital and it isn't looking good ". She says looking at her record.
Tell me about it.
" In here , it shows that you suffer from trauma, panic attacks , depression , mental instability, many disorders including OCD , and even asthma?".
" Oh yes , that is me ". I say with a tone just to piss off the woman. Instead , she gives me a warm and worried look probably out of pity , I hate pity!
My mom just sighs wearily and sits down at the nearest seat .
" Yes, uh, she has been through a lot these past few years and it has been a rather frustrating issue to deal with ". Mom says.
" Her mental health ..is in danger , uh , Mrs. West , has she been going to therapy though?". The doctor says.
" Oh well, the last time we came here , a doctor in the hospital merely mentioned the whole therapy thing , but no".
" I think she needs to visit a psychiatrist ". I raise my brows questioningly at this statement made by this pathetic doctor.
" I ..I don't think she really needs to go that far , I mean we can stick to therapy instead of the whole psychiatry thing, she is fine". Mom says.
At least she is being useful now.
" Oh okay well, I would recommend a therapist for you ..and also maybe , a change of scenery and environment might help ". The doctor says.
" Uhm, can I ask what your name is and ..yes please , why on earth would you say that ?".
I am already angry at this point . I mean , I know I can't tolerate my mom and she is barely even with me in the house , but I don't want to leave where am already accustomed to.
Now, I hate adjusting to any new things , and I can't even imagine starting over in a new place ....after all the shit I have been through.
" I would appreciate if you are a little more polite". She says to which I 'politely ' roll my eyes to.
" Am Doctor Stella , and as to why you need to move , I don't really know what happened in your past and why you have all these disorders , but a different environment from what you are used to might help you to meditate , reflect on your actions a little bit".
" I don't think so". I say sharply.
" I think that is a great idea , I mean , you could stay with my sister , your aunt in New York for some time". I hear mom say and I could not believe my hearing anymore.
" Am I that easy to throw away, mom , ... really , you just want to push me away at every single chance that you get , you don't even know me anymore". I say looking at with her with every hate present in my eyes.
She moves closer to me and sits on the bed . I move from her as far as I can.
" No , honey , I think it is for the best". I hear Dr. Stella say.
" Look , honey, why don't you just mind your business uh and shut your trap ?". I snap at her.
" Echo Willow West , you don't talk to people this way". Mom says.
" Oh , please , you are all hypocrites ". I say and face the wall signalling the end of the conversation. At least for me it is.
I tune out their voices . With a quiet shiver, I cry , even though I promised my self never to cry again.
I just want to run away from my problems, my awful past , and everything about me.
There is barely any hope left in me to be normal again .
♥I just want to go home , that is the only place I feel safe .
But then , that is a lie because I don't feel safe anywhere , not anymore .♥
♠♠♠
✓ this is the end of this chapter , tell me what you think . I know , it is kinda long too.
✓ more dramas on the way!
♥BlueIvy♥
