Wings of Desire

There’s something about having a birthday every year as a Pixie that gets annoying. It’s my 25th birthday and I’m still single, how? Another year where suitors come across the galaxy to show their charms hoping I give them a chance. I swear to God is there’s another ugly dwarf here AGAIN this year and I’m killing the ball coordinator.

“You would like the mermaids at the front of the ballroom ma’am?”

“Yes”

“My lady... Have you decided where you would like to seat the dwarfs? I can keep them in the front like your father-”

I threw the closest thing at my dad’s terrible henchman, Rick.

SMACK

Uh if only it wasn’t just a stupid pen. That stupid henchman wants me to marry the first wealthy man breathing down my neck.

I’m a virgin and late for wings to bloom. Wings are a fertility symbol. In the human world, it’s like a period. Pixie sexual genitals don’t open up for sex until we gain our wings at 18. I know for humans, it’s weird and gross. It’s weird that you have had genitals since birth

And during these times right before I gain my wings, I get a horrible, nasty attitude. I like it. I’ve heard that when I gain my wings I might meet my dust mate. You know like soul mates you humans believe in but for us, our wings glow. But anyway, back to hand.

“Please Rick, get out of my face for 5 minutes. You are stressing me the hell out. You know I’m getting my wings soon”

“Yes ma’am.”

He sent me the dirtiest look possible and walked out of my meeting chamber.

Who sends out invites? Obviously an idiot hoping I pick the richest prince who attends so I get out of my parents’ palace. Oops that might have been my dad for all I know inviting them to play nice.

My mom would never. My mother pushed me to become the queen of this realm without marriage. Who wants to get married to gain the throne? Loser princes. They come every year and bring ridiculous gifts.

Last year I received 100 swans from Sir Pin. Ew swans dude really. I would rather die than accept those monstrousitiesinto my household. Like can anyone get me the lost treasures of the human world like a Gameboy, the best youth rejuvenating mask from the Mermaid kingdom?

Damn what does a girl have to do for a decent gift? Most of these men just want to rub their dust against my bare Barbie doll mound. Gross. I would rather throw myself off a cliff.

“Lapis!” My father yelled, walking through my round entrance into my quarters.

I turn around from my desk and give him the stink eye. I’ve told my dad countless times to knock. Is he serious?

“Why are you not knocking?”

“Why are you slapping Rick?”

I scream, “He’s being weird!” Why are you marrying me to a gross dwarf? What kind of father are you?”

“The kind to really help you. You don’t know what realm your dust mate is from?”

“Uh but they don’t have to be front row. Why are you putting the ugly people in the front?”

He raises his voice yelling, “Lapis! You better fix your attitude before the ball. I know your wings are coming in but get them together. What happens if you meet them with this attitude?

My back aches further as my anger rises. I’m so annoyed, these wings need to come in.

I scream, “I don’t care!” I just want these stupid wings to come out already! How much longer?”

I knew my dad’s weakness. I start to cry. Deep sobs from irritation. He runs toward me covering me in his arms. I sob harder. All of this is stupid.

“There. I probably been hard on you”

I made sure to add an extra sob.

“I just need alone time daddy”

“All right.”

He gets up and leaves my room.

I think I might escape to the pink dunes in the city soon. The pink dunes is a blessed environment that by myth who are we truly are supposed to be and become, showing us our fears and dreams.

Lately I have attended weekly meditation. Truly seeking the ultimate truth of my future. I’m hoping to manifest myself as becoming a solo queen. One without the need for a dust mate.

My hope is to have a dustmate later in life. Even better never. At a time where I am able to rule on my own I don’t want to be under the leadership of a man especially all these power hungry princes. Some even pretend to be my dust mate. This was the last year. I will have a ball looking for my dust mate. After this I can start training to take over the crown.

Currently in these times dust mates are not guaranteed and more people are choosing to focus on arranged marriages. My parents don’t want to force me into one of an arranged marriages but as more birthdays pass and I travel the world I have yet to find my dust mate. My dad somehow in his crazy mind says that it’s definitely a dwarf.

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Escaping from the castle is too easy. I have a tree next to my balcony. I climb down the tree in the nick of time, runningbefore the next guard near my balcony comes. I scale the wall using the vines and run through the darkness. There’s something about outsmarting the guards that sends a thrill through my spine.

I run through the outskirts of the castle wall boundaries following the pink brick road to the dunes. It has to be one of my favorite places to visit in my home country. I ventured to clear my head. I made sure to keep my views covered my body and face with a niqab making sure only my eyes showed like the locals around the area.

Many women cover their bodies outside of royal balls. We dress modestly especially virgins to hide from gross looks inthe sick minds of men. You know the ones who see you and later jack off in their minds at home. Ew.

Typically at night the dunes are empty. Most people in the inner city near the palace head home around sunset and stay inside so my walk is quiet. We have the lowest crime rate and most people stay in the city surrounded by the beautiful gardens in town.

I finally made it to the dunes. My shelter, my nature home. I sit upon one of the huge cherry blossom trees and lay in the plush sand soaking up the night sky. I took off my niqab letting my curls cover in the pink glowing sand.

Why couldn’t I be a normal girl?

One of those girls who went to public school. Who can have boy crushes? See boys unrelated to them. But I’m forced to be around men who salivate at the chance of claiming a virgin, even dusted ones. Especially gross.

I have been complimented as one of the beautiful fairies since my mother’s passing and since my teens I have been heavily guarded. Men have tried everything to get past them. Attempts to reach me through launching themselves toward me, throwing gifts, trying to break in, sending thousands of letters daily... Overwhelming to say the least.

“Uh what if I want to be a normal girl?”

“Who’s there?” I hear faintly. It’s a deep voice and unfamiliar. Raspy and full

I sit immediately covering my face and hair immediately. My heart is in its ass as I stand up. I never seen someone in thepink dunes at night. Most people freak out that the sand glows at night. Or was it a figment of my imagination?

“Again who’s there?”

Oh shit! There was someone here fucking! This gigantic son of a bitch! He’s so tall he’s definitely not a Pixie. I take the necessary steps to increase the distance between us as he keeps approaching me. No man in his right minds should be coming toward a woman in the dunes. This is sacred ground.

“Stay there or face my wrath”

I tell while I summon my chi within me to form a palm-size dust ball. At first it fizzes in my hand of intricate gold circles that look like bob wire. Then it grows large enough for me to throw which right now is the size of an orange. Small but deep. Not having huge wings limits the growth of the dust balls I create.

The figure closes in the distance, then stops suddenly noticing my dust ball.

“What the fuck?”

My dust fizzes immediately. Sparkles fall and disappear from my hand. Fuck I’m so tired I can barely form a dust ball. My wings must be coming even sooner than I thought.

As he looks closer I can see he’s quite tall. Probably the tallest man I’ve ever seen. A freaking giant? I’m debating peeingmyself seriously.

“I’ve never seen that before,” he says quietly. He’s obviously a giant... His eyes glow along the dunes... So strange.

Since my dust ball collapsed this fucker decided to slowly start moving closer to me. I’m so screwed if he notices me as the princess. I slowly retreat taking foot long steps to run for the castle around the cherry blossom tree next to me. Of course this causes me to do the stereotypical bullshit and fall.

I fell hard. My head sounds a thud against the dizziness taking over my vision. My head blanks and my mind is black. I’m so fucking screwed.