Welcome to Upside-Down Falls

Before we start, I would like to thank Maggie O'Highley for all her help with the editing. I am the Baker, but she puts the icing on top. ❤

When I was a kid, my gran used to tell me: "You are special, Holly Merriweather. Never forget that."

"Not feeling very special right now, Gran," I mutter, up to my elbows in animal poop... again.

No, that is not as strange as it might seem. I am a veterinarian's assistant. Correction! I am the feeder of animals and the cleaner of poop at the small veterinary clinic in a town called Upside-Down Falls.

"Why is the town called Upside-Down Falls?" you might ask, and a very good question that would be, indeed. Well, you're in luck because I am gonna tell you, and it is such a good story too!

Right outside of our small town, about a kilometre or two away, there is a small waterfall.

You are probably wondering now just what it is that's so great about that story, and I'll forgive you for your ignorance since you're only wondering that because I haven't told you yet that according to the older inhabitants of Upside-Down Falls, there is, supposedly, some kind of optical illusion that makes it seem like the water is going up instead of coming down... when the sun is at a certain angle... and you're squinting just right...

Personally, I don't see it...

My boss, the town's vet, affectionately known as Gillian since that is her name, says that it's mostly everyone who drinks at the local tavern that will tell you all kinds of stories about these mystical Upside-Down Falls.

"Because Frank spikes their drinks or his home-brewed beer is just dodgy," is her highly frowned upon theory. "Either way, it makes them dilly." I don't know whether she's joking when she says that, but I wisely stick to juice when I visit the tavern... just in case.

And that, folks, is why this small town is called Uside-Down Falls!

Uhm... I agree; you were right; that wasn't much of a story after all... Moving on!

By now, you may or may not have noticed that I say the word "small" quite a lot. It's not because I'm one of those people who always have to refer to everything and everybody in a diminutive form because I think I sound really classy when I do that. "Have yourself a happy little day, Sweetie... Ugh!"

It's simply the best way to describe the town of Upside-Down Falls since everything here is... well... small.

The shops are small; the houses are small... The church, the school, and the surrounding farms - yes, you guessed it - they're all small... and somewhat green... but mostly just small. The only exception to all this smallness going around is the building that doubles as the sheriff's office and the doctor's practice.

Buildings and people in Upside-Down Falls are all rather good at multitasking. I am, for instance, telling you all this valuable information while I'm scraping a poop scoop against the rim of a bucket that is almost full enough to empty out... and I'll spare you a detailed description of its contents... You're welcome!

I have also laid new paper in a cage where one of our most annoying patients, a crow named Bella, is noisily trying to convince me to set her free. Honestly, sometimes I silently swear at whoever it was that thought it a good idea to teach this bird to talk.

Are crows even supposed to talk?

I've also filled quite a few water bowls and feeders and saved my hair from being eaten... but that's a story I'd rather not get into... It involved a bucket of milk, a rubber teet and a lively little calf. Anyway, when it comes to multi-tasking, I'm a pro and very special, after all... as I explained at the beginning of my tale.

"So, if there's only a small doctor's practice in town, what do you do when you need an actual hospital?" you might rightfully ask. "Well, then you have to go to one of the bigger towns or the city. When it's not an emergency, you go see Dr Paul Stitcher."

Yes, I'm not kidding; that is literally his surname, and no, jokes about his surname are not allowed.

Trust me, just don't.

Believe me, Dr Stitcher takes his job very seriously, and you're going to think I'm making this up, but it's as true a fact as I've ever shared with anybody; his wife is the town's seamstress! Mrs Stitcher... or Mrs Dr Stitcher, as she likes to refer to herself. She has acquired some status by marriage, after all.

I'm serious! My multi-tasking only goes so far; I'm sticking to facts here!

What if there's a fire? That is a valid concern, but you're once again in luck! There is a small stream running right through the middle of town. The waterfall has to go somewhere, right?

I'm kidding! Fine, maybe I can make a joke or two and not just stick to facts all the time...

We're not that backwards over here! We have a small firehouse, complete with a small fire truck and two not-so-small firemen, Trevor and Will. I bet you didn't see that one coming! The word "small" doesn't necessarily apply to the inhabitants of Upside-Down Falls.

Wait! I digress.

My point is: the town is small.

When you think of the smallest town you have ever seen in your life, there is a massive chance that Upside-Down Falls is even smaller than that town. Being small is not the only characteristic this town can pride itself on. It is also a very odd place to live, something that most folks around here don't seem to notice at all, but that is perhaps due to the fact that they are all rather odd themselves.

Now, if you can keep in mind that, as I've said before, I am the teller of facts and also well-known in these parts for my honesty, I will tell you about some of the strange things I've seen.

One morning I passed a badger on my way to work, and just for a second I... I could've sworn that it was standing upright and leaning against the mayor's mailbox!

Badgers don't lean, do they???

Well, apparently, in this town, they do! When I mentioned this to Gillian and shared, based on my vast biological knowledge, how I imagined that they probably don't possess the muscles and bone structure required for the art of leaning against mailboxes or anything else for that matter, she just shrugged... and she's a vet! Her knowledge should exceed mine by... whatever unit knowledge is measured in.

Another time, I watched, with not a small amount of confusion, as Mrs Mayberry weeded her garden in the rain, all the while cursing (maybe) in a foreign language!

It's not just me who thinks that is odd, right?

By now, dear readers, you may be wondering: "How did Holly Merriweather end up in a small, green town with odd people and leaning badgers?"

Well, Holly will most certainly tell you in the next Chapter, called: "How I Ended up Living in Upside-Down Falls."