What is your opinion?
John and Rita, a POV of love at two angles
"After reading John and Rita, I will admit there is potential here. John and Rita is about to lovers at opposite ends of one another; Rita is a bit fast for John who seems to be very much conservative in nature. These types of stories always make me chuckle and such about seeing how opposites attract. I will admit, I do wish the plot would thicken and start to spice up a bit. It seems like at some points the pacing is rather slow and can drag, however, this could be the authors plan all along! Wanting us to patiently wait for more to unfold! If that’s the case, stick around! There are some slight errors with punctuation and some spacing issues, but nothing that’ll derail you from your reading experience. At some points I did get confused by the present and past tenses, but again, nothing that should derail you from your experience! This overall is a very cute and unique love story between two opposing characters! I hope it builds up quickly and we see how these two character expand their relationship! "
John and Rita
"The book has potential. The plot is intriguing and has future. The grammar though is the one that makes the story not great. You are using both past and present tense which is kind of confusing. I would recommend to check your grammar especially tenses before you upload chapters. Also I would advise you read other published novels to get the idea of dialogs and tags "
John and Rita
"I think there could be a good story inside here. For me, there's not enough to the plot to make it interesting. There's no reason I care much about what happens to John and Rita as a couple since we never really see them in love or happy and within the first few chapters, we have very little backstory for them. So why would the reader care if they break up? Also, it just doesn't seem like there's enough of a subplot to really keep the reader engaged. There needs to be something to really make the plot more interesting, a little bit more spice and drama! Maybe there's a family secret involved? What about something to do with their job that they work at doing something shady that they're working together to solve, hence why their relationship being strained could be bad? Just something to add onto the romance to make it a little more enticing to read. As far as the writing style, I have two main critiques. One, the characters are in their twenties/thirties and they speak as if they're in high school. I cannot in my wildest dreams imagine a 25 year old grown woman going up to a 32 year old coworker she doesn't know and being like "wanna date me"? It feels like a middle school relationship, which is maybe the point ?? but it's just unrealistic, and they need to talk more their age to make us believe that this is a sort of "office drama" Furthermore, I think there needs to be more showing instead of telling. This also relates to the dialogue. Everyone just says exactly what they're thinking without any subtext. There's very little room for the reader's imagination to really feel what's going on and figure it out. Make the reader work a little harder, that keeps them engaged. As far as technical stuff, i didn't really notice anything major as far as grammar/punctuation/spelling - nothing that can't be fixed in a proofread. So, ultimately, I think the three main areas for improvement are: spicing up the plot, making the characters behave a little more realistically for their age, and showing vs. telling Hope this helps!"
