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The Unspeakables || Portrait of a Prophecy

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Summary

Young Montague never set out to be a bad omen. However, the Guides were the spinner's of fate, and they had a grim muse in store for her. When peering into her future, they saw something more deplorable than words could speak. It plucked a minor chord in their chests, and sent a shiver of despair through the town. What they saw - was nothing. A one sided mirror, reflecting centuries upon centuries of superstitions. An Alasivit. The first in nearly two decades... a sign like rain warning of a hurricane. To be placed an Alasivit was to be brandished a teller of tragedy, according to myth. In all of history, never had one with an unreadable mind not meant a peril only they could throttle. They left legacies seared in the earth, but they were never recalled fondly. The only thing more deplorable than being placed as one, was to be an Alasivit with an Unspeakable magic type. Young Montague never set out to be a bad omen... perhaps though, she had been one from the start.

Status
3yrs ago
Chapters
4
Rating
5.0 (3 reviews)
Age Rating
16+

The Prologue || An Unspeakable Beginning

"Do you have an answer, dear boy?"

A woman's silhouette was cradled in glimpses of illumination each time lightning split across the sky. Darkness seeped in through the windows, thickly tainting the atmosphere as if the night were an incurable plague. An insidious melody bursted forth from the rattling windows. The glass frames moved like a frenzied bat, clattering against their confines sharply. Her feet remained planted firmly in her place. There was no reason to unearth herself, when she was only reading a story she knew the ending to.

"What?" A young man spoke, with eyes argent as glaciers. One of which was marred by a scar, and had a gauzy haze over it. His voice was a timorous bird caught in austere blusters. For every syllable was a wing flapping, fluctuating with each undulation of his chest. His heart withered, it spasmed. Each beat snapped in his reddened ears, aiding the cacophony's power. Much like the beacons of light across the inky sky, his gaze traveled over the woman. With the urgency of a moth to a light. "You need to get to safety!"

A low smile painted her thin lips demure. Each time the windows shook rain invaded - pellets pricked her skin and smattered across the floor. The noise wailed, comparable to glass shattering on concrete. She savored the robust perfume. In through her nose, and shivering down her spine. Unbridled trust in the earth turned her bones to salt water, and her blood to ichor. The sky knew what was to come. The sky had given her wisdom to guide her protege. It darkened as a warning, and it would lead the boy now.

She folded her smooth hands in front of herself before turning to face him. Those eyes of her's were sharpened blades of freshly spun gold. They pierced between his ribs, but it was the utter calm within them that reaped his breath. Steadfast, and emblazoned by a halo of certainty she stood. His head shook, over and over again, gaining haste with each second.

"Have you lost your mind, professor?" He spewed the words like they tasted acrid on his tongue. His hands were out of tune, trembling despite himself like a weakened violin bow on strings. Luckily, he could blame the blighting cold from the downpour he been out in moments ago. "We need to leave, it's not safe," he pleaded. "I don't have much time before I need to go," he strained.

It was coming. His instincts were mad as a jackrabbit's feet, thumping wildly in his frame. He was in knots, his stomach twisted while his legs weakly swayed beneath him. It took every bit of strength he had not to clatter to the ground and let the voices in his ears overtake him. They were so rampant. He felt like a murderer who was now haunted by all the souls he'd taken... he ran his hands across the back of his head. Like a child pulling grass from the earth, he tugged at his hair. The sensation was soothing as a mother's lullaby, but the relief only lasted a beat.

"I told you, the day you returned to me would be the day you understood my question," she creaked. Her aged voice reminded him of rickety floorboards, still the echoes of his memory remained. As before, it filled the air suffocatingly. It was like he stood in a metal box, and water was rushing in through an unknown source. The soft buoyancy tenderly cooed, but the undercurrents were grave. Suffocating. "Tell me... what is your greatest fear, Augustus?"

Floods surged back to life. The sun came up over his confusion, dawning realization upon him. The voices grew louder! Calamitous chaos from the town vaulted across his skull until he was sure it would crack. Their emotions viscerally embedded into him to leech all his confidence away from him. Their woe, their panic, their screams sliced lesions to his veins and bled his own certain over his hands.

The longer he stayed, the more people got hurt.

All his years... an atlas opened behind his eyes, connecting all the roads he'd taken together. Each rotten path carved into him, sparing no naive detour now. His hand clattered over his mouth, shaking over his gasping mouth. His past, the only symphony he thought he understood, unraveled before him. Notes slipped from his control, finding their rhythm in his desolate realizations. With a lament made from his pulsating heart, the boy slowly tilted his gaze back to her.

"And how was it used against you?"





——


Any theories on what she meant with her question?—•


And the prologue is here! What did you think? I sincerely hope you enjoyed the first toe dip into this magical world, and I really cannot wait to continue writing it! If you liked it, please let me know if the comments and tell me all your thoughts. I'd love to hear anything which came to mind while you read it! Thank you for checking out this story, and prepare yourself for magic, excitement and hopefully fun! Have a wonderful day or night!

Let SojourningGhosts know what you thought about this chapter!
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4

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3

Suspenseful

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Good Writing

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Great Character

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Great Character

Strong Dialog

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Strong Dialog

View 3 previous comments…
author

I absolutely LOVE your writing style!! So unique and incredible!!

3 years
1
author

The summary is great. It intrigues the reader and yes, I loved the prologue and I’m eager to go on this journey. Great start to the story.

3 years
1
author

This has a lot of potential! It's kind of suspenseful because you have an urgent need to leave and a question. However, it gets drowned out in a lot of purple prose, by which I mean there's description that helps the reader see what's happening and there's description that's fancy but doesn't really help. In my view, and I mean this kindly, it goes too far. And because it's quite wordy with complex SAT words that aren't needed, it just makes the writing a bit convoluted and takes away from the impact. My recommendation would be to simplify. Use simpler words to convey meaning and it packs a greater punch.

3 years

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